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Casual Eddie |
| Whether he severed an appendage in a barbeque accident, lost his girlfriend to his best friend or rolled his car into a ditch, nothing fazes Casual Eddie - the ULTIMATE salesman. Flexible, honest to a fault and emotionally unaware, Eddie rolls with the punches and lives in a world where "It’s all good, brah!"
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Dr. Cocktail |
| If you need a pick-me-up, Dr. Cocktail will give you the get up and go you need! He’s not a licensed pharmacologist, but he writes scripts just the same. If sales are down or if your boss is bumming you out, call Doc Cocktail! He’s got what you need! |
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Ivan the Hacker |
| Ivan understands the value of computer code, but not the value of an ethical code. He can break into your bank account, write himself a check and make it look like your Mother did it. He causes great damage without a trace and enjoys every minute of it. Hire Ivan to double-check YOUR code and see if it withstands the test of a genius. |
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The Drover |
| From Down-Under, this Ozzy approaches sales like a cattle driver. Pushing, roping and dragging are just a few of the tactics this man uses to drive sales. Infused with a good ol’ fashioned sense of manliness, the Drover is a true motivator and the ultimate crowd pleaser. |
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Pastor Crane |
| Company moral-majority leader Pastor Chris Crane is ready to give his opinion when it’s needed - which apparently is whenever he opens his mouth. Always off base and ill-informed, THIS Pastor is more concerned about his own autobiography than he is any inspired religious manuscript. |
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Barry the Infidel |
| Barry tells a great story but not a word of it’s true. He’s the ultimate two-timer - someone you should think twice about when letting him talk to your wife. Barry is man who cares more about his brand of sunglasses than he does about scruples. Invite Barry out for a drink and you’ll get an earful of debauchery - as well as the bill.
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Svetlana Bunsky |
| As the executive socialite, Svetlana charms top clients and engages with the audience like no other. Of Russian descent, Ms. Bunsky is alluring and provocative - and often the talk of the party - AND the after-party. |
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Reginald T. Baker |
| Reginald T. Baker has seen it and done it all - emerging as a brilliant corporate sage. He cuts through executive charades and company hyperbole by flawlessly injecting his notion of reality - which is refreshingly honest and to the point. Ask Reggie what REALLY happened and you’ll find yourself both amused AND the wiser. |
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Lance Allot |
| As the primary soft and sensitive voice of the company, Lance can turn the toughest tough guy into a pile of mush - with sprinkles on top. Lance is intuitive, passionate and motivating - and has the unique ability to know what motivates people. Lance also prides himself on fashion, which can readily be found at Sears. |
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Jergen Jergemeyer |
| Fresh off the boat from Norway, Jergen delivers down-home sensibility. And because he comes from a long line of cheese makers, Jergen understands the processes inherent in mass production. Ever the storyteller, Jergen’s speeches are wrought with cheese-flavored metaphors - and always pack an inspiring punch. |
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Jimmy The Beach |
| As the CEO’s son, Jimmy gets away with things most others would be heavily reprimanded for. A college-stoner, Jimmy can find ANYTHING - whether it’s a pair of tickets to U2 or a Rolex for pennies on the dollar. Need a ride to work? A used car? An alibi? Call Jimmy! He’ll hook you up! |
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Laddy McFadden |
| Laddy works in the sales department. Or so he thinks. He hasn’t gotten a pay check since 1998. The ultimate lazy corporate citizen, when confronted, Laddy will toss out every excuse in the book. |
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Joe Bartell |
| Don’t let the mild-mannered, somewhat inflicted exterior fool you, Joe is probably the kindest and wisest soul in the company. His childlike innocence provides unmatched clarity on products, managers and general human behavior. And thanks to his trusty orange vest Joe’s never been hit by a car. |
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Nick Freely |
| Nick is your average everyday company conspiracy theorist. There’s a good chance the new CEO is an alien and the ice in the ice machines is genetically engineered to make you work harder. Nick is always on the look out for the important stuff.
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Sally DeepVoice |
| Sally is a Transgender who draws out prejudice and completely dissolves it. Full of love and brilliance, Sally is the most innovative leader in the company, one who successfully breaks molds and thinks outside the box. Sally’s knowledge of trivia is outstanding - and she has a deeper voice than Charlie in Accounting.
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