Embodying the pain of others is different than sensing the properties, conditions, and experience of the pain. Let’s have a look at Empathy vs Intuition in this article.
Intuition is an ability or gift whereby one or more of your senses inspires an awareness about a potential trajectory or event. For example, you might have a gut (physical) feeling or an image (spiritual sense) that someone will call you or that an impending decision will work out in your favor.
Empathy is the ability to consider, fully encompass, embody, or sense a person’s or group’s feelings, either in-person, within your soul tribe or family, or remotely. Empathy might emerge as a full-body experience where you can literally feel the sadness or grief of another person. In the case of feeling somebody else’s anger, empathy might appear as a rash or upset stomach. The overriding feeling of empathy is equal to the feelings of the other person.
The challenge for Intuitives and Psychics, who focus primarily on extracting information from a projected timeline or reality, is integrating empathy and compassion when they are helping others and themselves. The challenge for Empaths is to refrain from taking things personally when we feel or absorb energy from others.
Many Empaths, Intuitives, and Psychics have compassion and are kind people, but some highly sensitive people use the victim position/identity to take things too personally and to create self-pity, attention or drama, rather than use their gifts toward self-realization, healing, and light.
Because these types of gifts can be challenging, all sensitives should pray, chant mantras, do healing and light rituals, help the poor, refrain from alcohol, pot, and other drugs – and regularly clear their energies. Doing so helps us be earnest and true servants to our own evolution and the evolution of others.
As a hyper-sensitive person (in a good way), I sometimes struggle when I’m in intimate relationships with brainiacs, tough-guys, robots, and those who place feelings on the bottom shelf. If I’m not careful, I can become quite the whiny little needy weenie. Or an unreasonable, self-righteous dick. This article is for how to grow empathy.
I’m hitting this one hard because I’m done with the pattern.
Now, instead of succumbing to a victim-mind, when I sense the other person is demonstrating an “under-empathy”, I educate them, doubling-down on compassion, with the hope that a tiny percentage will trickle into the heart of the other person. This method is working!
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you might be one of those folks I’ve struggled with in the past. Or you might be an empath who bumps into the same walls and repeats the same responses. Either way, people who do not understand the value of empathy are challenging, right?
Here’s an example of a dialogue that, formerly, would have crushed my spirit and rendered me lethargic and wing-clipped for weeks:
During a lovely hike with a friend:
Paul: I feel deeply connected to these beautiful trees. And there’s such light and sweetness in the air! Can you feel it?!
Brainiac-Robot: Um, nope. You hungry?
While there’s no harm in her response, my desire to be understood, and to have a mutual experience with the other person is what has most often tripped me up.
I used to feel justified in my hurt feelings because “isn’t being more open and loving and magical what it’s all about?” Um, no. It’s about respecting that the universe is complex and it has a wide variety of intertwined agendas and aspects in play.
I used to respond to these types of disconnects by saying things like, “Well, can’t you just try to have some empathy here? I mean, aren’t I worth it?” But that’s a form of manipulation and oppression, which is what weak, uncreative, controlling people conjure when they feel out of control and without power.
Let’s face it. It’s downright silly for me to expect someone else to have the exact same perspectives and experiences as me. Even if I feel disappointed, it’s unreasonable for me to expect another person to be empathic. Who knows what they’re going through. Who knows what value the universe places on their gifts.
My job is to have empathy for myself and creation, but that’s not everybody’s job. I just feel better when I’m being empathic. I feel better when I let my heart pour out to others. I more whole when I live this way. This way of living is not meant for everyone.
Empathy is different from compassion. Empathy is embodying the other person’s feelings. Tasting them and finding ways to improve them. Compassion is being aware (and respectful) when someone is in pain. Compassion has better boundaries.
My new approach has inspired me to change my egoistic responses. For example, instead of expecting someone to feel the tree’s heartbeat like I do, now I say, “Hold my hand and let’s touch this tree together. Imagine the tree breathing and singing. Maybe we can both open our hearts together and share a moment of love with the tree. Just a tiny moment!”
This approach is effective because I’m empathizing with the other person rather than judging them or demanding that they “get me” upon every new-age whimper that comes out of my mouth. If they reject the offer, at least I arrived at empathy, rather than reaction.
Clearly, just because I feel connected to every green, fluffy pile of moss, every gnome spirit and light-orb, and the multitudes of crackling twigs in all the universes, it doesn’t mean that it’s the only conscious way to live. Other people might be more focused on the things that I tend to miss, for example, forgetting to lock the car or “HOLY CRAP! THAT’S A BEAR! RUN!”
A recent exchange:
Paul: I was working with a client this morning and I could feel their pain from early childhood trauma. It was overwhelming, yet it was such an honor. We walked through it together. Do you know what I mean?
Brain-Robot: Dude, I’m not set-up for this kinda conversation.
Paul: Cool. You hungry?
Maybe I’m evolving. Then again, let’s not jump to conclusions.
Paul, you saw exactly what was happening in our office situation. It was amazing to me how you were able to not only see all the personalities but also help us unwind a difficult situation. Such an excellent experience working with you. Thank you!
WOW! Such a great experience working with you. Your sessions made me feel so much better. I’m at a loss of words right now. Suffice to say that you helped me regain my confidence and let go of some serious garbage. I was carrying so many unnecessary pieces of guilt and self-hatred. You helped me release these things. Truly a wonderful experience.
I love our sessions so far. After a month, I’m noticing just how clear I really can be. I tend to overcomplicate things and get lost in the details. I also forgot how to be a positive person. Working with the rituals and living more in gratitude has been immensely rewarding and eye-opening!
Thank you for being such a light and inspiring person in my life, Paul. I was worried about hiring someone to help me because it all felt so unmanageable. You were so sweet with me, holding my hand during a very painful time. Each session helped me break out of my darkness. The difference between today and 3 months ago is almost unbelievable. Thanks for seeing my potential and walking me into it!
Working with you has been amazing. I love how you can see the challenges that my wife and I are having - and you don’t blame either of us. You also saw that I have a bit of work to do, which I needed to hear. Now that I’m completely over myself (haha), she and I are able to have very productive conversations. Sometimes it feels like we’re just getting to know each other. We appreciate you, Paul - thanks!
Thank you so much for hearing me so deeply. You are so kind and generous to me, helping me get past the death of my child and loss of my marriage. The guilt was killing me, but I’m seeing the light again, feeling more loving. Thank you for working through everything with me. I know I’m a challenge. I’ve listened to the recordings several times. Each time, I am reawakened into how empowering you are for me. How kind and present. Thank you so much. I am SO GLAD I TRUSTED YOU AS MY COACH!
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