When Love Is Difficult To Find

We are always looking for experiences outside ourselves. We use these experiences to help us decide whether or not to be happy in any given moment. We continuously seek relationships, with the hope that each one will give us a missing part of ourselves. We buy cars, take trips, cut our hair, and work out. We run from place to place, hoping for at least one moment on this day, we will have a moment of unfettered joy. We might not even care about the joy at this point in our lives. We might simply be yearning for flashes of feeling free. 

Why are these moments of feeling joy and freedom so rare? Why does love and freedom escape us? Why can’t we find love and freedom – right now, right here? What is wrong with me?

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. Love is the most difficult action we can take in this world. The problem is that we believe love to be a feeling. It’s not. Love is an action. Some of us believe love to involve romance. It doesn’t. There is nothing loving about romance. Romance is a projection that does not involve the other person. It involves what you are projecting onto the other person. It also requires that the other person give you something very specific. When this specific gift is no longer available, neither is the romance. Love is not romance. Romance is not love.

Romance involves neediness, demands, projection, desire, enabling, and passive aggression. Love is simply an action whereby we choose to serve and honor another person. Love is not demanding, needy, or hurtful. And while it’s never complicated, we often complicate it. Instead of looking for love within ourselves, we expect to only experience love from others. We might become so unreasonable that we’ll shame the other person into becoming the exact image of our unreasonable and unconscious idea of love. 

We prefer to objectify our lovers, manipulating them into servitude, rather than educating them by becoming an example of love. As we imprison others, we become imprisoned. 

So, where is all the love that’s available to me? 

Love is only available from source. You are connected to source. Once you become love, you’ll basque in it, which in turn will reflect onto the other people in your life. They still might not meet your secret expectations, but those expectations will pale in comparison to your embodiment of love. As you live in love, you’ll want to serve others – and all the details will fade away. You’ll obsess less, project less, and demand less. You’ll live in the moment more and more, and you’ll be satisfied. When you seek love from within, you achieve a durable, lasting love. It’s a river of love that continues to give – if you allow it. No matter who comes and goes in your life, this love can never be taken away from you. 

Some people believe that God is love. I believe that God is love. I believe that the whole Universe, and all the realms and Universes throughout our ever-expanding creation are one Being, all born from love. We were love long before our physical birth in this life. Some of us might bring former life memories and attitudes into this life, and potentially corrupt it. We might learn bad habits in this life and disconnect from love. Regardless, we can always return to our birthright – LOVE. It’s a choice in every moment of every day. 

What Does It Mean When We Say “No Excuses”?

Throughout our lives, we see many people succeed and many who fail. We might workshop those who reach the tops of mountains, and we might dismiss those who suffer defeat. As we wander the planet pursuing our passions and interests, we might secretly worship one of the world’s “winners” in our mind’s eye, hoping that one day we’ll achieve a status equal to theirs. Amid our own victories and failures, we learn what works and what doesn’t. We either improve, pivot, or die. If we’re honest with ourselves, we might admit that we rarely learn from our mistakes. Because we might be a little stubborn or addicted to behaviors and beliefs, we might never free ourselves from bad habits and misconceptions. It all comes down to our excuses. 

The idea of “no excuses” is simple. You either want to grow and improve your conditions, or you do not. You might want to expand your horizons or keep everything the way it is. If you want to truly change and advance your position in the world, it won’t be easy. It will not only require self-sacrifice and hard work, it will require you moving beyond your temporary self-identity and ego, and into a state of humility, honest, and wonder. If you’re too enthused with your identity and ego, you’ll continue to defend the notion that excuses are real. They are not. 

An excuse is a statement that we use to justify our inability to find pathways to improved conditions. It’s often contrived out of thin air and presented within ourselves in such a way that it brings us shame and lowers our electric vibration. When we have 4 or 5 excuses, we believe we have a legal, defensible case against ourselves and our potential. We then use our minds to take ourselves to spiritual court. Even with the best intentions and most innovative slights of hand, we’ll lose this battle every time. We are too smart for our own good. 

Here are a few reasons why your excuses are contrived fantasies that you’re using to defeat yourself and defend laziness:

1: You have skin, bones, a brain, a heart, and passion. With these elements, you can accomplish nearly anything. What most often happens is that we get distracted and depressed, and we refuse to shift our behaviors toward a more enlightening feeling or position. When you add our addictions to social media to the mix, you have a stew that can only breed mediocrity and complaints. 

2: Your ideas and passions are not that complicated. It’s not like your goal is to fly to a distant nebula on a magical, nuclear, cocktail napkin. Your desires are most likely based in reality, which gives you a fighting chance at bringing them to life. 

3: You have already tried sitting around, complaining, and building a case against yourself.

4: You already know which of the people in your life you no longer value. You’ve been keeping them around so you can feel validated. Its within this codependent model that we grow mental and emotional infections that can prevent us from ever evolving. 

5: You have made mistakes and you have created some unique, winning scenarios. Even with a predominance of failures, you still have enough data to thrust you forward with confidence. 

6: You’re sick of your attitude, so why not try something else?

Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, this life of yours is happening. It’s ON. It’s moving forward with or without you. Why not get over yourself, admit you’re blocked, and choose to change your daily routine so you can advance your life to the next level? Whether you’re in a wheelchair, convalescent home, army barracks, or depressing job, I would guess that all of your excuses are fabrications to justify your incorrect beliefs about yourself. 

Change your beliefs and you change your life. Go get em!

How To Set Boundaries And Sometimes Say Goodbye

 

We’ve all been there – stuck in a relationship with someone who drives us nuts or seeks to harm us. We don’t know how to free ourselves from the chains and bondage. We can’t seem to fathom a life without them, even though they impede our happiness. It’s a serious problem in the world today. With family constructs built upon foundations based on guilt and codependency, we all find it difficult to push back, draw the line, and break ties. But, haven’t you had enough? Aren’t you ready to reconstruct how to think about and enact these things? Do you want a change?

For those of us with big hearts and never-ending pools of energy, setting boundaries can be difficult. We might be in the midst of experiencing something deeply inspiring and truly wonderful, yet somehow we’ll allow an old flame, sibling, or arch-nemesis to mess us up. It’s an old story: “Life was going along so well – until ding-dong came along and hurt me again!” 

It doesn’t have to be this way. 

 

 

How To Set Boundaries With Confidence

1: When the other person is not around, write down how you feel now that you are separate from them. Continue to imagine other scenarios where they are not around and note how you feel. 

2: Make a list of the people who enable this relationship to continue. You know who I’m talking about: the tangential people who appear to be invested in you and the other person being connected. Write down their names and what you believe they continue to receive from you having this relationship.

3: Make a list of how your life would change if this harmful person was no longer in your life.

4: Make a list of the types of people you would prefer to have in your life. You can also list their attributes. 

5: Write an email, letter, or text to the person with whom you want to set boundaries. Share a clear list with them, nothing what the boundaries are, and what life will be like with these new boundaries in place. Ask that they respect your request. If the person is dangerous, send a copy of the communication to your lawyer and best friend. Send the communication and move on. If they have follow-up questions, that’s okay, but set a 24-hour time limit, then hold firm and move on.

6: Write and send emails, letters or texts and tell these people about the new boundaries you’ve set up. Ask them to either support you in this endeavor or remain detached and out of your way. 

7: Remain clear, firm, and positive. Stick to your plan. Release anyone from your life who is not supportive of this pursuit. They don’t deserve you and they might find other ways to trip-you-up in the future. 

Remember: Setting boundaries is about protecting yourself. It is not about offending the other person. While the other person might want to feel offended, it is their illusion to relish or release.

How To Say Goodbye To Someone (maybe forever)

1: Be very clear about how you feel about this person. Make sure that your decision to remove them from your life has come after a long series of events or over many years. 

2: Forget whether or not they deserve one more chance. They probably don’t. 

  1. Write an email, letter, or text to this person outlining (as briefly as possible) why you need to move on without them. In your communication, share what you learned and what you still have not learned. If you can sincerely say “thank you” for something they gave you, do that with an open heart. Don’t gush, just state something positive. Send the communication and move on. If they have follow-up questions, that’s okay, but set a 72-hour time limit, then silence. 
  2. Notify the people whom you both know in common. Ask that they respect your decision. If you need to cite a few reasons, that’s okay. Just don’t vomit all over the page when communicating with these people. Keep it simple and move on.

5: Honor how you feel, release our emotions, and pray for everyone involved. 

It’s difficult to make drastic changes to the relationships in our lives. As we get older, we realize that having 20 friends can be exhausting, but having 1, 2, or 3 best friends can be energizing and freeing. It’s all about freeing yourself so that you can attract and choose positive experiences that bring you clarity, joy, love, and happiness. You can do this. Be clear, honor your feelings, and move on. It’s time.

Is Anger Your Enemy Or Your Friend?

The human mind is so complex, it’s a wonder that we can feel anything at all. When an event occurs in our life, it doesn’t pass through us, it lingers, sometimes for decades. When we experience challenges, we spend more time obsessing over how bad we feel, rather than creating a plan and acting upon that plan. When our relationships change, we carry the related emotional fodder for far too long. For some reason, we’re not adept at having an experience, freeing ourselves, and then moving on. The same can be said for our lingering feelings of anger.

First of all, it’s 100% okay to feel anger, even celebrate it. You might want to throw a party for your anger or use it to fuel the birth of a new business. Anger can be extremely inspiring, provoking, and transformative. It’s like carrying a forest fire in your pants. 

If you’re feeling anger, it’s your friend. If, because of your anger, you’re acting outrageously or putting others in danger, the anger is truly your enemy. Keep in mind that your anger didn’t ask to become the enemy. It just came up. Like a bubble in a can of soda, it emerged as real, moved upward, and then rested at the top for a moment. What you might not realize is that anger has an expiry date – if you permit it. 

If anger is bubbling up inside of you, see it as bubbles of nothingness. Consider this: The anger was born from a prior experience, and provoked into existence. Since the event that angered you is longer happening, why hold onto the emotion that stemmed from it? Even positive emotions can restrict us and enslave us to the past.

Your anger was useful for a time. It helped you make some decisions. It assisted you in the evolution of your ability to discern. Your anger was an ally – until it began interrupting your experiences around happiness, connectedness, and love. 

If your anger is still causing you to disconnect from your goodness and heart, you’re giving it too much power. You might need to venture into the woods and pound the earth for a time. You might need to do a ritual or religious ceremony where you call upon your higher Being to heal and help you. You might simply need to find the tears beneath your anger so that you can soften your heart and reconnect with all the goodness around you. 

Don’t let your anger manage you. Don’t allow it to maneuver you into being someone you are not. Don’t invest in it or plan to use it for too long. Let your anger have its day – and then set yourself free from it. You’ll be happier and more successful if focus on the positive aspects in your life. Doing so, your anger will naturally dismiss itself from your field of view. 

Remember to be grateful. You are alive on a planet filled with beautiful trees, flowers, rivers, lakes, and creatures. You have enough health to be able to function in this world and experience some of its joys. You can communicate with other living Beings. You most likely have a place to life and have food in your fridge. You were also born with an unlimited capacity to think, feel, and experience. You are a miracle. Never forget that. 

If you have yet to forgive someone or own your part in a series of difficult events, it might be time to forgive yourself and everyone involved. This will put your anger in service to your evolution.

7 Simple Ways To Open Your Mind And Move You Life Forward

Open Your Mind with 7 Simple Methods
Open Your Mind with 7 Simple Methods
A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

 

It all sounds cliche: “Let’s free ourselves!,” “Be Happy Now!,” “There are no excuses – just do it!” It’s true, these ideas are now very popular. Almost everyone on the planet has heard these taglines from somewhere. They’re so popular that we’ve become immune to them. We’ve given up on ourselves and we too often accept defeat before our prime. What isn’t so popular is taking action to embody these positive ideas. What isn’t popular is understanding who we were, who we want to be, and the disparity in-between. What isn’t popular is absolute positivity, especially in how we think about ourselves. 

We’re so busy living in the past, we haven’t space within our minds and hearts to imagine something miraculously positive for ourselves in the future. You can change all that!

Here’s the reality: You can free yourself from limiting beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and habits. You can be happy when you choose to be happy. It all depends on how much you are willing to release your current intentions, attitudes, and addictions. When I say addiction, I’m not referring to substances, which are also problematic, I’m referring to the chemicals that arise from specific self-negating thoughts and behaviors. 

To begin and excel at being free, clear, and positive, there are many things we can do. Here is a list of 7 ideas that many people have incorporated into their lives. Each one of them is powerful all by itself. If you can invite all 7 of these things into your life as habits, you’ll be further along than 99% of Planet Earth. 

Let’s get to it!

1: Continually forgive yourself and others. Allow yourself to think lovingly of the people who have hurt you. Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes, even huge ones. There is no other way to truly embody a new piece of knowledge. We must allow ourselves to make mistakes. Acknowledge them, endeavor to do better next time, and move on! Everybody will adjust.

2: Understand and embrace your most endearing and empowering attributes. If you cannot claim your gifts, beauty, and magic, who else will? Yes, our moms love us, but they love us because they want us to love ourselves. When we appreciate our best attributes, we love ourselves, we honor our births in this world, and we pay tribute to our mothers. Doing all this, we reduce the barriers that prevent our futures from unfolding.

3: Stop obsessing over the past. It does not exist, except in the dark corners of your mind. We love to think about the things that occurred in the past, even things that never happened. Truth be told, no matter what the memory is, our minds have already polluted it. After 5 years, most of our memories contain only 20-50% of the actual events. During those 5 years, our little brains conjure ideas to validate our contrived self-concepts. If our memories were stocks, they’d never produce any dividends. Let them go. Be here, right now, in the present moment.

4: Celebrate small victories until victory is a staple in your life. If we cannot get a solid handle on how wonderful you are, it’s vital that you create a plan and celebrate every small step. By doing this, you’ll get in the habit of appreciating yourself, which is required to move forward and free yourself.

5: Meditate and pray often. By meditating we release self-limiting thoughts and feelings. When we clear our minds and hearts of energy and activity, we create more space for ourselves to grow. Khalil Gibran said, “Out of the well our sorrows dig, flows joy.” Breathe in white light, exhale. Focus on your inhale and exhale. Do this for 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes at night. It’s as simple on that.

6: Find ways to selflessly serve others with zero expectations. Whether it’s volunteering at a charity event, taking care of your aging family members, serving a local homeless shelter, or donating to a Native American community: giving works! It will help you get over yourself for a moment, and it can fill your heart with love and joy. Selfless service is the highest calling on Planet Earth. 

7: Live in gratitude, every minute of every day. Too many people complain about every little thing in their lives. From how their mail is placed in their mailboxes to bad customer service, too many people get caught up in the details rather than the gratitude. It’s petty and small-minded. When we consider the remarkable number of wonderful things and people in our lives, we release our negativity. When we release negativity and embrace gratitude, it’s remarkable what the Universe will bring to us. Stay humble. Be grateful. Always!

Remember that millions of people have less than you. Millions. Remember that you are the embodiment of light. If you didn’t know it, let me tell you: you are made of stardust and you are part of an ever-expanding Universe. Don’t play the small game. Play the big game. Get out of your own way, practice the 7 steps, and decide to free yourself from the past. It’s time to grow!

 

 

The Free Yourself Mini Audio Course – A Truly Inspiring Experience!





ARE YOU READY FOR A WONDERFUL AUDIO COURSE? 

Are you feeling like you need a little jump-start? Are you ready for a simple sojourn into your core nature so that you can feel strong again? Need some love & encouragement?

You’ll love this easy audio course: The Free Yourself Mini Audio Course

Lesson 1: Who Are You?

Lesson 2: Forgive Everything

Lesson 3: Authentic Living

Lesson 4: Responsibilities & Desires

Lesson 5: Selfish Self-Care

Lesson 6: Your Operational Life-Plan

Lesson 7: Love & Honor Key Relationships

 

GET THE FREE YOURSELF MINI AUDIO COURSE NOW

 

My hope is that this free course will bring you light and clarity in your life. I made these with love I pray they truly serve you.  If you’re ready for a more serious course – a super-spiritual jump-start, check out THE FULL, AMAZING FREE YOURSELF VIDEO COURSE: HERE.

 


TIPS FOR LIVING A FULFILLING LIFE

 

Rituals & Declarations can inspire rebirth and give you momentum.

Paul’s Courses are empowering and enlightening.

You’ll love THE PERSONALITY CARDS – a new tarot for liberation.

You are the embodiment of LOVE & LIGHT!

Forgive everything, learn how to say goodbye and set boundaries, stand strong in the face of challenges, and remain drenched in gratitude!

 

Free Yourself Mini Audio Course – Lesson 7: Love & Honor


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Lesson 7: Love & Honor Key Relationships

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Here’s what we’ll explore in this lesson:

When we think about our primary relationships, are we truly aligned with these people? Have we established reciprocal relating patterns that allow both people to feel empowered, heard, loved, and supported?

It might seem like an obvious question, but are you truly supporting and seeking to grow these key relationships?

Are you always “filling their buckets?”

Are you holding any secret agendas that are harmful to the relationship?

Are you being transparent most of the time?

In what ways do you feel underserved by these people?

In what ways can you help both parties improve how they participate?

Is it time to release one or more of these people – or is it time to put more effort into connecting and relating with them?

How are you addicted to or negatively impacted by each of these relationships?

What actions are you willing to take – and what decisions are you willing to make – to uplevel the quality of the love & honor in your life?

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TIPS FOR LIVING A FULFILLING LIFE

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You might also love the deeper, more-involved Free Yourself Video Course – 30 videos that can lead you to personal freedom. Check it out!

Rituals & Declarations can inspire rebirth and give you momentum.

Paul’s Courses are empowering and enlightening.

You’ll love THE PERSONALITY CARDS – a new tarot for liberation.

You are the embodiment of light and love!

Forgive everything, learn how to say goodbye & set boundaries, stand strong in the face of challenges, and remain drenched in gratitude!

.


Free Yourself Mini Audio Course – Lesson 6: Your Operational Life-Plan


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Lesson 6: Your Operational Life-Plan

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Here’s what we’ll explore in this lesson:

This episode is about one big question: WHAT IS YOUR OPERATIONAL LIFE-PLAN?

When we know who we are, understand what drives us, have learned how to nurture ourselves, and have forgiven our realities, we will need a plan. This will help us continue to move forward.

Without plans, we tend to meander in the desert. With thoughtful, always-evolving plans, we remain active, moving in the right direction, and free from the past and debilitating encumbrances.

Do you know how to plan your life so that you get what you want and need?

If you were to build an operational life-plan, what would be required to be in it?

Which parts of the plan would need to be prioritized?

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TIPS FOR LIVING A FULFILLING LIFE

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You might also love the deeper, more-involved Free Yourself Video Course – 30 videos that can lead you to personal freedom. Check it out!

Rituals & Declarations can inspire rebirth and give you momentum.

Paul’s Courses are empowering and enlightening.

You’ll love THE PERSONALITY CARDS – a new tarot for liberation.

You are the embodiment of light and love!

Forgive everything, learn how to say goodbye & set boundaries, stand strong in the face of challenges, and remain drenched in gratitude!

.


Free Yourself Mini Audio Course – Lesson 5: Selfish Self-Care


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Lesson 5: Selfish Self-Care

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Here’s what we’ll explore in this lesson:

When we’re seeking personal freedom, we must know how to nourish and fulfill ourselves. From there, we can expand and grow.

How are you broken and how are you healed?

How did you get in this position – what effort did you put into knowing and nourishing yourself?

What types of people, beliefs, and decisions lead you? What events colored the person you are right now?

What do you do to nourish and encourage yourself? This a vital aspect of being a human being – loving yourself enough to nourish and encourage yourself – or at least exploring the pathway to get there.

What are the components of the machine that drove you to your current state of mind, heart, and life-position?

Are you ready for a fulfill your tithing responsibility in the category of self-care? Are you ready to be self-powered, self-encouraged, and self-motivated?

All of your ancestors, angels, and divine guides are with you! You are the embodiment of love & light!

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TIPS FOR LIVING A FULFILLING LIFE

.

You might also love the deeper, more-involved Free Yourself Video Course – 30 videos that can lead you to personal freedom. Check it out!

Rituals & Declarations can inspire rebirth and give you momentum.

Paul’s Courses are empowering and enlightening.

You’ll love THE PERSONALITY CARDS – a new tarot for liberation.

You are the embodiment of light and love!

Forgive everything, learn how to say goodbye & set boundaries, stand strong in the face of challenges, and remain drenched in gratitude!

.