Energy Vampires! How to Spot, Repel, & Avoid Them

Shutterstock licensed image. 

 

 

Energy Vampires! How to Spot, Repel, & Avoid Them

We’ve all met these types of people. They are either sad, broken, emotionally dramatic, or simply narcissistic. Somehow they refuse to own their stuff and seek to improve themselves. While these people deserve our love and compassion, they do not necessarily deserve our attention or time.

Are you feeling continuously drained at work, home, or social events? Do you often feel stressed so you cannot enjoy the things you once loved? Are you feeling unmotivated and unable to engage in life?

These symptoms may be surfacing for several reasons:

An introverted personality strained by constant social interaction

Depression born from repressed emotions

Confusion due to various life stressors and changes

Or

Being the victim of an Energy Vampire!purchase-the-personality-cards-oracle-tarot-deck

Are you ready to take back your life and cast out all that bad energy?

It’s time to learn which people in your life are sucking the happiness right out of you and preventing you from enjoying the activities you once enjoyed!

What is an Energy Vampire?

At first, the term “Energy Vampire” seems fantastical, but it’s becoming a common term used to label several types of personalities. Simply put, Energy Vampires are people who feed on your energy and who selfishly use that energy solely for themselves. 

That definition makes it seem like these people are dark, twisted villains who are looking for vulnerable people to prey upon, but that’s not often the case. Most of the time, Energy Vampires don’t realize how challenging or toxic they are to the people around them. 

Certain personalities lend themselves to evolving into Energy Vampires due to learned behavior. It’s possible that Mom or Dad was an Energy Vampire and nurtured their child into an equally dramatic and needy personality. Or maybe the Vamp in your life had a difficult childhood and now craves attention from anyone that will lend an ear.  Unable to give to others reciprocally, they become accustomed to unstable and imbalanced relationships.

Like many other behaviors, Energy-Vampirism is often representative of an unconscious lifestyle that can go undetected by the person exhibiting it for a lifetime.

The Energy Vampire Spectrum

Spotting an Energy Vampire might be difficult, especially if these folks are close to you. It can be hard to see relatives, friends, and coworkers with an objective point of view. Further, Energy Vampires can emerge within a broad spectrum of a variety of personalities and behaviors.

At the very least, Energy Vampires are often narcissistic. They assume that the world revolves around them and that everyone exists to serve them in some way. Emotionally or psychologically entrenched in their desires and problems, they cannot consider other peoples’ needs and feelings. Every time you encounter them, you might be unable to get a word in to express your thoughts and feelings.purchase-the-personality-cards-oracle-tarot-deck

In the middle of the spectrum, these narcissistic Vamps become manipulative. They actively use you to get what they want, whether it’s constant attention, validation, an exalted ego, or worse. These people demonstrate little concern for how their ongoing needs affect you. Whether they’re conscious of it or not, they take advantage of everyone around them. 

On the extreme end, these types of vampires are psychopathic. Their social behavior is often exaggerated or intense due to innate aggression or ongoing mood instability. This type of person is draining because you’re either constantly giving to them, tensely on guard, or nervously uncertain about what they’ll do next. In many ways, you might be bracing yourself for the eventual and likely consequences of their behavior.

Sound familiar? You might have at least one person in your life that exhibits this type of behavior. If you’re not sure, then ask yourself if there’s a particular person that leaves you feeling exhausted and stressed after every encounter.

Who Are The Typical Victims of Energy Vampires?

Because these human black holes drain energy from those around them, they thrive in social situations when more vulnerable, passive people are available to them. The ideal victim of an Energy Vampire is someone who always sees the good in others, listens to those who need to vent, and doesn’t stand up for themselves when they feel offended or manipulated.

While we’re never truly a victim, only an experiencer of aspects of reality, one cannot help but feel lessened and burdened by ongoing exchanges with Energy Vampires.

If you are a compassionate and open-hearted person, good for you! You should never choose to feel bad about your glowing and positive personality. For healthy people, you are a life-saving support system. For Energy Vamps, you’re dessert.

Energy vampires don’t only prey on compassionate and passive people. They negatively affect everyone around them, including other Energy Vampires! 

How to Know If You’re An Energy Vampire’s Prey

Not sure if the source of your problems is an Energy Vampire? There are some telltale signs that your energy is being drained without you being conscious of it. Even though you have a busy and fulfilling life, you might feel lonely, lost, confused, exhausted or unloved. You might feel as though nobody truly knows you, hears you, or “gets” you. When we are loving a narcissist, it’s easy to lose site of our needs that have long-gone unmet.

purchase-the-personality-cards-oracle-tarot-deck

Energy vampires manifest in many different forms. Maybe a parent or close relative constantly commands your attention while also provoking your guilt for taking any time for yourself.

Perhaps a coworker is a considerable presence at your workplace and doesn’t care who they hurt amid their climb to the top. Maybe you have a friend who constantly involves you in their personal drama without considering your personal space and wellbeing.

At the end of the day, energy vampires can be anyone. To figure out the source of this stress, focus on these points while you meditate:

Do you feel drained after conversations?

Do you feel like your life is engulfed in someone else’s problems?

When you try to express your thoughts or feelings to someone else, are you made to feel guilty or crazy?

Most of all: do you fail to see yourself as the center of your own life?

Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires

Once you’ve identified the source, you can begin to take measures to protect yourself. It’s not always as easy as cutting the Energy Vampire out of your life, but if that’s possible, it’s time to do it. If it isn’t possible, it’s time to start guarding yourself against their energy-draining effects.

First, become an expert at spotting these Vamps. While it’s not healthy to always look for the negative aspects in people or situations, it is essential to be wary of people’s motivations and repeated actions.

Employ tactics that repel these people from your inner sphere. If it’s possible to block or avoid them, such as declining social events they’ll be attending, then it’s best to protect yourself by staying away.

If you can’t stay away, learn to respect yourself and set proper boundaries. Be clear about what behavior is acceptable in your relationships and stick by those rules. 

Second, lower your expectations for your relationship with that person. Often, we can be our own worst enemy when we get our hopes up for a healthy relationship with someone incapable of empathy.

Third, do not expend any energy on them. Do not overreact, do not accept their advances, and don’t give them the responses they want. Eventually, they’ll realize you’re no longer an easy target.purchase-the-personality-cards-oracle-tarot-deck

Fourth, surround yourself with people who can be your reality check. Talk to friends and family who can look at the situation from an outside perspective. They can be your support system for when you need to guard yourself.

Finally, begin to heal. Being the victim of an energy vampire for any period can be damaging to our senses of Self, our hearts, and our minds. Accepting that a person has been manipulating you and stopping the energy drain is the first step. Then, incorporate self-love practices like daily meditation, deep breathing, and reflection through a diary or my personality cards!

REMEMBER!

You are a beautiful Living Being filled with light and love, born from stardust. You are unlimited potential in every direction. With a focus on discipline, virtue, and your own goodness, you can become as expanded and liberated as you desire. 

Pray for others and the Universe prays for us. 

LOTS OF BLESSINGS TO YOU!

purchase-the-personality-cards-oracle-tarot-deck

There is no “Other.” There is only you experiencing yourself.

New-Age Narcissists: How To Spot Them & Prevent Them From Messing With Your Life

Narcissists

Gotta love the wacky, new-agers and other narcissists – or not. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

When traveling in new-age circles, it’s easy to spot the most real and wonderful people. They’re usually the ones not wearing white or purple, standing separate from the chatty, spiritually-chic sheep, and looking somewhat uncomfortable. They might even wear a frown.

OMG! QUE TERRIBLE, HIJA!

When the New-Age scene first blossomed, I met hundreds of high-quality human beings, deep thinkers, empathic feelers, and intuitive, sensing, light-workers. It was as if the new-age movement had inspired them to venture outside their secret, divine caves for the first time in their lives.

These fascinating people had been waiting for a chance to commune and network with others of like-mind. As powerful and brilliant innovators, they weren’t following a trend and they weren’t obsessed with themselves. They were genuine originals who had clean intentions, infused with integrity. They all shared a sincere desire to connect, heal others, and expand.

Those were the best days and I miss them. What was once the pursuit of truth has become an addition to spiritual-botox.

Now, I see more ego-drenched selfies at new-age events than I do at global television and marketing symposiums. With all the posturing and pretending, spiritual authenticity has almost disappeared in the new-age scene.

Transparency is no longer about being open and lucid, it’s become a trendy, dark art used to color perception and deceive the self. It’s no longer about dissolving the ego, it’s now about how you can construct an ego-based on marketable principles.

book-live-intuitive-reading-with-paul-wagner

Part of the problem is our addiction to spiritual-porn. You know, all those hip, warm-fuzzy images in our newsfeeds that tell us that we’re Gods and Goddesses. These images encourage us to deny our shadows, which, in turn, causes us to deny half of our humanity, which we then replace with fantasy.

We use these spiritually materialistic images and sound bites to nurture false beliefs about ourselves, which causes us to avoid doing the real work. Truth be told, the real work, while sometimes painful, is both exciting and liberating.

Let’s get back to basics:

  • If we live within and sell a contrived identity, we’re missing the point. The idea is to cleanse the ego of false identities. Die to the ego, don’t glorify it. The path is about embracing the raw, gritty human being, not the false spiritual emblem that you might (temporarily) want to become.

  • If we avoid our feelings, or are unable to hear and accept the feelings of others, we’re either not truly interested in the other person, or we’ve yet to accept ourselves for who we are. Viral or not, emotions are aspects of our humanity, integrate to relating with others, and part of every equation.

  • Not all yoga classes are vibrationally uplifting or even spiritual. Many of them are no more enlightening than exercise, taught by marketers, not yogis. Just because the teacher wears a mala, dhoti, and bindi, and occasionally burps in Sanskrit, doesn’t mean that he or she has any idea how to integrate profound yogic truths into a conscious and transformative curriculum.

  • The new-age is a collective of confused people who are obsessed with derivative spiritual tidbits and immediate gratification. This is neither good nor bad, but it’s probably not good. “New-age,” while once the embodiment of an enlightening ethos and community, is now a catch-all for non-committal, spiritual dabblers who prefer fashionable, feel-good tag lines and spiritual materialism to substance.

I had the immense anti-pleasure of being in business with a local, new-age fakir. She said all the right things, wore the perfect clothes, and then completely disappeared. She lied and stole money from me, pretending that signed agreements are merely suggestions.

Betrayal is a bitch, but it’s also one of the greatest teachers.

 

At the time, I was ashamed of my love for her and my naiveté, but eventually realized that people who don’t relish commitment and accountability probably don’t love, respect, or understand themselves.

The most important thing I learned is that I must have had garbage remnants of new-age residue inside of me, otherwise, I wouldn’t have attracted a flaky, new-age freak into my life. Her choice to dishonor our relationship pulled a thorn from my spirit.

New-age narcissists are different from regular narcissists because they use flowery language connected to a deity, Guru, or spiritual discipline. This puts them in the “Dangerous” category. Because they reference the Gods, even their shallow projections and brain farts can become alluring, potent propositions.

Some new-agers are so adept at misrepresentation and sexy-spiritual enticement, they’re one decision from becoming prostitutes.

How to Spot a New-Age Narcissist

  • New-age narcissists hate confrontation because it reminds them of how much they’ve been avoiding themselves.

  • New-agers might dislike it when you’re angry with them because it antagonizes their delusions around reality and dreams of being spiritually perfect. If you’re upset with a new-ager, they will avoid you at all costs or place all the blame on you. This is because they only look at the pretty mirrors, not the real ones.

  • Because they often believe themselves to be living angels, they wear perfect spiritually-styled clothing to every meeting and gathering. These spiritual wolves usually have the cash to afford the most divine wardrobes.

  • Listen for warm and chic spiritual language as they describe their lives and choices, while never owning their shortcomings.

  • In business, they’ll use loose commitment language and make assumptions about how things will magically happen vs doing the work required to make things happen.

  • They sometimes describe their fears and how much they are working toward addressing them. Imagine if they put all that self-focus into rolling up their sleeves and getting to work. They love to hear themselves talk about their feelings, so we can track their fascinating progress. Sharing your feelings is healthy, but sharing your feelings all the time is f*cked-up.

  • Their personal mythologies are ridden with stories of horrible, oppressive people in their lives who “hurt” them, and who are not living according to spiritual principles that serve only them.

  • Their social feeds often feature a multitude of selfies with yoga instructors and spiritual teachers, and with backgrounds that highlight temples, ashrams and popular spiritual sites, ya know, like their bedrooms.

New-agers don’t like

to make scheduled plans

because a busy schedule

can interrupt

their magical,

spontaneous,

self-indulgent,

mermaid

lives.

How to Protect Your Life from New-age Narcissists

  • Listen for how often the person shares his or her feelings. If it’s every time you get together for 15 minutes, and about every aspect of their lives, they might be self-absorbed, which could easily tip toward narcissism.

  • If they avoid anger and resent your anger, with regard to any situation, it’s possible that they are unable to see themselves clearly, and unwilling to grow beyond their limited, shiny public persona.purchase-the-personality-cards-oracle-tarot-deck

  • If they hurt you in business, get a lawyer, and threaten them. Some new-agers are spineless wimps who fear commitment, structure, and accountability. A lawyer will make a new-age narcissist sweat. It’s nice when these jack-offs are forced to hire lawyers to respond to you, because it means they finally had to spend money on something other than Goddess and Ganesha t-shirts.

  • If they hurt you in love, make note of the ways in which you were narcissistic or self-absorbed, and how you allowed them to inflame your ego. In other words, look at your own self-obsession. It might be time to let it go.

  • The most important thing you can do when screwed by a new-age narcissist is to educate them about their hypocrisy. Call them out on every aspect of their behavior, self-obsession, and dishonesty.

  • Given that these white-light addicts tend to hide behind contrived identities, calling them on their bullsh*t will be helpful to them (and you). To make sure they hear you, you might consider using the same shallow spiritual lingo that they use. Most new-age narcissists are akin to bullies. If you stand up to them, they eventually stop wanting to hurt you and others.

  • Reach out to mutual friends and tell them about your experiences. There’s a good chance they’ve done this before and possibly to someone close to you. Sharing your story might help others heal.

  • Finally, delete the new-age vampire’s contact information and never engage with them again.

  • If they muster up an apology, accept it with all of your heart. It’s awesome when knuckleheads wake up.

Be genuine in responses. Step beyond passive spirituality and stand in your personal power. Passivity is not spiritual. It’s a cop-out.

Be authentic. Speak your truth. Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Move on.

Your new mantra:

“I want powerful, loving, honest, responsive people in my life.

I embrace commitment, accountability, and authenticity.

Within all my endeavors, I seek clarity, consciousness,

and a healthy reciprocity. In all things, I seek the truth.”