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A Ritual for Changing the Book of Life

Baby with glasses looking at book - Paul Wagner

It’s time to reboot with this awesome ritual. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

I’m fascinated by White-Lighters. Who are the White-Lighters? These are the folks breathing white light through their navel with the hope that their world will change without any additional effort. They write down their needs and desires and say, “Since I have written and spoke these things, they will all appear!”

Unfortunately, reality doesn’t work that way. It’s true that thoughts and intentions are powerful. They help us form our action plans, relationships, and boundaries. They set the tone we need to move forward on a path. But if we’d like something to actually occur, ya know, like in a physical reality that we are participating in, we have to invest quite a bit of action into an event before it manifests. Matter is quite a complex notion, especially if you want to move it around or make it do something that’s a deviation from its current path.

Making changes to our lives can be complicated. We might want to say goodbye to a friend who continually hurts or disrespects us, but that friend is connected to 27 other people we love. How then do we move through space and time and fine-tune our experience without creating absolute social havoc?

How do we disrupt our old ways and create lasting change?

To effect lasting change in our lives, it’s important that we can access our feelings, express ourselves, clean house, and establish changes in our behavior. Ritualizing the changes we desire can produce a lot of emotions which results in an up-leveling of our wisdom. Without emotions, there’s no wisdom, and without wisdom, it’s difficult to make better decisions.

I cried my eyes out yesterday saying goodbye to someone I had said goodbye to long ago. The problem was that when I exited that relationship, I didn’t fully emote the change. I may have been in a state of shock.

Conversely, when I’ve ritualized the changes I’ve wanted, the emotions come, and then I’m clearer and more resolute. And because I’ve begun to release emotions, when I make the change, it’s a full-bodied, resolute, and complete experience.

What does it mean to ritualize a desired change?

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A ritual is a physical activity involving clear intentions, words, symbolic gestures, and objects that we find to have meaning in our lives, the unique coordination of which helps us establish a greater level of peace or a change around a specific reality. In short, a ritual is a personal, physicalized prayer.

My favorite ritual for letting go of the past, changing behavior, and inviting a new paradigm for life is called, The Changing the Book of Life. I learned the ritual from a Native American elder who had taken me under his wing.

With a gallon of water, a blanket, and a list of things I wanted to pray about, I hiked into the Pecos wilderness, veering off the main path for around 10 miles. After a full day of hiking at a great pace, I was nestled deep in the real wilderness (not the wilderness marked by paths, signs, and toilets). I climbed atop a steep hill above the tree line and I sat in the lotus position and meditated.

It was a super hot day in August so I took off all my clothes and drank some water. I felt peaceful and resolved in what I was about to do. A mountain lion walked nearby and climbed further up the hill. He sat behind me and watched me for the duration of my ritual.

There were no birds at this elevation, but a few tiger moths floated gently around me. I took out a piece of paper titled, “Changing the Book of Life Ritual,” which had a list of instructions, along with my list of all sorts of things that I wanted the universe to shed some light on.

The ritual asks that we choose a deity. I chose a power-quad of Jesus, Amma (Amma.org), Buddha, and a Tree. I imagined the four of these superpowers working on my behalf throughout the entire ritual.

The instructions stated that I was to imagine each challenge that I wanted to be changed in my life and ask the deities to “Change the Book of Life” for all time.

Here’s the way it works:

  • Sit quietly and make a list of the things in your life that you want to release. This includes people, places, events, experiences, and ideas.

  • Head into the woods alone so that you can connect with nature. Find a peaceful place to perform your ritual.

  • As you sit quietly, invite all of your guides and diety to join you.

  • Imagine that you can see your deity (or imagine an expansive universe) in front of you, near you, or in the sky around you.

  • Imagine the challenges that you want to release and speak them aloud.

  • Tell the universe or your deity that you want back all the gifts, talents, and attributes that you gave to this person or experience.

  • Tell the universe that you are giving back all the gifts, talents, and attributes that you received from this person or experience.

  • Ask the deity or universe to help the people involved in the challenge. Pray that neither you nor the other person (or peoples) experiences no lost love in the change you are requesting.

  • Ask that all dangling threads of need, hope, and desire are fulfilled and nurtured in every way by the limitless universe. In this way, there is no loss, even though you are asking that something be deleted from your eternal life records.

  • Tell the deity or universe that you want this change to happen immediately, right now, and that you want the “book of life” to be changed for all time.

I thought I had a handful of things I wanted to change, but the more I got into it, I was releasing more and more. I was going far beyond my original list.

I thought this ritual was going to take a couple of hours and then I’d be off hiking, but I let go of 40 people and events, and it took seven hours to complete.

Throughout these seven hours, I cried, laughed, sobbed heavily, pounded the earth in anger, freaked out, pissed myself, had anxiety, shouted out my pain, and completely exhausted every level of my being in every way. It was a relatively insane experience, but WOWOWOW! It was powerful.

As I looked out across the treetops, seeing this beautiful sunset, it was the clearest sky I had ever seen. I could see eternity. I peeked over my shoulder and saw the mountain lion was still resting nearby.

I felt deeply grateful for the experience of releasing so many things, so I bowed my head and thanked the universe for this changing of the book of life.

I thanked creation, knowing that my gifts, talents, and attributes would be returned to me. I knew I would feel more whole.

As I lifted my head with love in my heart, 20 feet in front of me, just off the edge of the cliff appeared 40 beautiful, boisterous, singing birds.

This was the universe reflecting back to me all that I had given away in my life. I felt heard and loved. I was so deeply moved that I sobbed for an hour in gratitude.

The Changing of the Book of Life Ritual was extremely powerful for me. There has been nothing even remotely similar to this experience in my life. It was beyond life-changing. I slept soundly atop the rocks that night with my friend the mountain lion nearby.

The ritual was a profound experience and it worked according to its promise. I released things I never thought were possible. Everything was lighter after that day. My life felt realigned and focused. My heart was no longer cloudy and my relationship-tree was cleansed and simplified. I was renewed in every way.

Days later, I had several unusual voicemails from a few people I had released. They must have felt something. I know I sure did.

Learn more about rituals & engage Paul as your guide.

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Fun Ways to Make Life Lovelier for Others When Traveling

travel tips - Paul Wagner

make life lovelier

Travel with love in your heart. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

When I travel, I love to make life a little less stressful for others. I try to love-up and appreciate everybody I meet, make life lovelier for everyone. Since it’s especially easy to take people in the service industry for granted, I often focus on them. When I’m paying attention, I can feel their efforts and intentions and I feel a deep well of gratitude. I tend to be overly-empathic, which can be debilitating if I’m not careful. To remain in the flow, I reach out to others who appear to need a little love. I often play a game with myself to see how many altruistic things I can accomplish during one travel stint.

I love to help others. I love to make life lovelier. It’s the best addiction.

These are things that I do to upgrade my travel karma:

Bathrooms

To help other travelers feel more comfortable and respectable before I leave a bathroom in an airport, bus station, or convention center, I pick up the trash on the floor, wipe down the toilet seat, and alert the janitor of any issues I can’t fix. The little things add up.

Hotel Rooms

A maid’s job is tough, often under-appreciated, and repetitive. Before leaving a hotel room, I roll all the towels into a ball and place them near the door. I put all the trash into one bucket and strip the bed. I throw out the used soap and place the shampoo containers next to the sink. I open a window to bring in the fresh air and I leave a small tip with a cute note with a heart on it.

Restaurants

When at restaurants, I pile my dishes, napkins, and silverware and push them closer to the edge of the table so it’s easier for waitstaff to clear. When I sense a waiter or waitress is stressed or unhappy, I ask them a light-hearted personal question about their family, culture, or jewelry. I try to bring them out of themselves so they can internalize my appreciation. When I sense the waitstaff needs some extra love and attention, I might leave a 200% tip.

If I saw homeless people on the way from the hotel to a restaurant, I remember them when I finish my meal. I box up my left-overs so that nothing is wasted, and I purchase a piece of pie. Putting it all in one bag, I add a little love note.

While exiting the restaurant, I look for the most open and receptive homeless person, I give them the bag, along with a hug. When I witness someone working hard to have hope and express that hope, I love to validate it.

Eye Contact

Maids, janitors, shoe-shiners, and floor sweepers tend to be ignored and I believe this affects their well-being. When I see someone working hard to clean or fix something, I give them a smile, share eye contact, or engage them in conversation. I’ve met some of the most loving, profound, and interesting people this way.

Airports

I love airports and I am committed to enjoying every aspect of my experience there, as well as make life lovelier for all my fellow travelers. I arrive at security three hours early so I can be friendly, peaceful, and relaxed during the process. When someone near me looks a little freaked out or stressed, I let them go ahead of me. When I see a cranky or disgruntled person, I engage them in conversation with the hope of softening their frustration. I remain alert and friendly with security staff, saying “thank you” as many times as possible.

When entering airport security, I always pre-plan what I’ll put in the trays. I untie my shoelaces so they come off more easily. I put my belt in my travel bag. I make sure my computer bag is unzipped so all I have to do is pull my laptop and drop it into a tray.

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If someone near me looks confused, I grab a tray for them and give them encouragement. When exiting airport security, I pick up the left-over trays on the conveyor belts/scanners and put them in the tray holder to make room.

Compassion with Strangers

Travel can be alienating for many people. I like to seek out ways to make life lovelier and nurture others with positive reinforcement. I often seek out the saddest and upset person in a restaurant and I secretly pay for their meal, leaving before the waitress tells them their bill was paid.

If a taxi/Uber/Lyft/rickshaw driver shares a story of hardship and I can feel their pain, I give them a large sum of money and tell them that I love them. I did this in Thailand and the taxi driver squeezed me so hard, we both burst into tears. I often do this in the US with single mothers. Their reactions take my breath away.

When I feel someone’s pain and I am unable to help them in some way, I imagine light shining upon them and I ask the Universe/God to lighten their heart and give them strength.

Let’s all keep an eye out for each other when we travel. A little love goes a long, long way.

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Give Yourself Permission to Say Goodbye to Family

Goodbye family, funeral - Paul Wagner

permit yourself to say goodbye to family

Birth-families are not always awesome. A Shutterstock. Licensed Image.

We don’t have to remain latched to every kid, sibling, or cousin across three generations just because we married a lineage, or share blood and a last name. It’s okay to gently, swiftly say goodbye. We might even be doing them a favor.

It’s a fallacy, an ancient mythic lie that our birth and constructed families are permanent fixtures in our lives. They are not permanent and they are not always required. It’s our choices that enable a person or family to hurt, oppress, and control us. Allowing these limitations of culture to impress upon us to stay with family through thick and thin make codependency a serious issue.

Families are temporary constructs from which we derive temporary meaning for our lives. If the meanings change, dissolve or contravene, either through our evolution or a shift in another person’s perspective, we are called to rethink, possibly redesign our commitments. While this is not a call to be reckless, it’s important to understand that every person has options.

Birthdays, New Years, and holidays usher in profound times of reevaluation, self-reflection and tribal-assessment. When we first start to explore our needs for independence from our families, we might choose to refrain from heading home for the holidays. Doing so, we might feel guilty or conflicted, or we might have the best frickin’ holiday of our lives.

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Our childhood experiences and habits around holidays are not indelible. We can remake anything at any time through a shift in perspective and behavior. Playing the old movies in our minds, we realize what we don’t want in our lives. Stepping away from the past, we realize we have unlimited potential in any direction.

If we’re paying attention during family visits, the moment we pull into our sibling’s or mother’s (or even our own) driveway, we begin to feel the stress around the family behaviors we no longer desire or wish to tolerate. We start to feel our former-self bubble up, chock-full of old responses, and ancient reactions. For many people, holidays are times of healing and renewal. For the rest of us, enforced family gatherings are head-f*cks.

The true definition of a birth family: a small group of people forced to deal with each other while fighting for limited resources. These birth, childhood, and adoptive groups are vital to our growth and self-discovery, but many of them have expiration dates. While these families might serve a huge purpose in our early years, they can become void of intrinsic value as we age. They can also become toxic.

 

This is not to say that all families are bad or that we should strive to let them go. On the contrary, if you’ve been born into a tolerable group of fair-minded people who respect you, then cling to these people with all your heart! If you’re a Mormon, you might be so enthused with your family that you’ve sealed yourself to them for eternity. Whatever moistens your loins. Go for it!

For many of us though, our families, and sometimes our marriages, are odd assemblages of twisted personalities that were never able to agree-upon an all-inclusive system of communication, behavior, and rituals.

There may have been abuse or neglect in the original contracts within your childhood home. It might be that your voice was never truly welcome in your family. You may be a successful person in the world, but when you return home to the old patterns, you’re thrust into the corner with a mouthguard and dunce cap.

You might need to dig deep and grieve some of the toxic imagery rolling around in your mind and heart. You might be so overwhelmed with emotions stemming from childhood that it’s become impossible to speak with members of your family.

Every one of us has family fascia clinging to our souls, so remember that you’re in good company. Seek clarity. While everyone else will want to cram you into their little boxes, allow yourself to expand, make YOU the priority, and love yourself.

 

It might be that we hate our families and refuse to forgive them. We may have forgiven them, but we refuse to forget. We might love them, but don’t want to be near them any longer. It might be that you’re still playing the role of victim, and being around your family is akin to pouring salt in your wounds.

Each situation is unique and cannot be judged from the perspectives of traditional or religious family values. Human beings are far more complex than that and there are many paths that lead to liberation.

If you find yourself nodding your head as you read all this, accept the fact that your situation is your own and you do not need anybody’s approval to make changes in your life. Regardless of how many family relationships you decide to exit, understand that those who truly wish to be in your company will seek you out with a full heart, complete respect, unlimited kindness, and compassionate understanding.

Pushing hard to break from family might not bring about the most lasting changes. Before applying the pruning sheers to your family tree, come to terms with your mistakes, then forgive them. Come to terms with other people’s mistakes, then forgive them. Be accepting of the way things are. Find peace before you make major breaks.

When making big decisions around relationships and family bondage, shut out the old family voices, quiet the sibling rants, silence the “traditional society” and religious bullshit. Listen to your voice. It’s the only one that counts.

Our paths are mutually exclusive. Yours might require extended periods of solitude. It might be that you need a break from family or tradition. Heck, you might just want to skip one holiday meal in favor of drinking your face off at the local bar. You get to choose because it’s your life. Don’t get tripped up by guilt and shame. Those things barely exist.

Even the Buddha skipped town on his wife and kid.

He turned out okay, right?

Whatever changes are on your horizon, seek the ones that bring you peace. Seek traditions, new or old, that bring you joy.

Our primary contract is not with our families, it’s with the Universe.

Infuse that contract with as much joy as possible. With or without family, it’s your life. Enjoy it!

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Herbs And Supplements That Can Heal Or Awaken Your Thyroid

thyroid herbs - Paul Wagner

Herbs And Supplements

You can heal your Thyroid! A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

One of the key drivers and actors behind your emotions and emotional intelligence is your thyroid. Resting below your Adam’s apple, and along the front and sides of your windpipe, the thyroid has two squishy compartments connected by a similarly textured bridge. Shaped like a butterfly, this gentle and vital friend appears to elevate your breath and give flight to your voice.

The thyroid might hold the key to the evolution of your relationships, consciousness, and sense of Self. Even if your thyroid appears to be on her last breath, she is waiting to be healed. While this might take some time, effort, patience, and inward reflection, it’ll be worth it. Your thyroid processes experiences and information akin to your heart. When you love, your thyroid loves. When you breathe, so does this lovely and powerful little organ.

Your thyroid is hyper-aware and connected to the other realms, unlike any of your other glands and organs. It might also be providing you with helpful information on how to live, love, heal and thrive.

As with all things related to your health, seek the help of a doctor, D.O., or nutritionist to help you understand, treat, and heal your body. The thyroid is a particularly complex organ, so as you pursue its healing, be careful, be gentle, and have patience.

How Does The Thyroid Work?

The thyroid gland uses the iodine in your body (sourced from food and supplements) to produce two vital hormones: T3 (Triiodothyronine) and T4 (Thyroxine). Your pituitary gland, nestled in your brain, is the thyroid’s master and the gatekeeper of TSH (Thyroid-Stimulating Hormone).

When your pituitary gland releases TSH into your bloodstream, your thyroid excretes hormones. When your pituitary gland detects low thyroid hormone levels, it releases more TSH. When it detects the opposite, it reduces its excretion of TSH. To diagnose thyroid problems, doctors will use blood tests to determine your levels of TSH, T4, T3, and sometimes RT3 (Reverse T3).

Thyroid Disease Dictionary

The thyroid is part of the endocrine system, which produces hormones that fuel many critical bodily functions. It can become damaged through heredity, repeated trauma, drug use, alcoholism, stress, and diet.

Symptoms of a damaged or weak thyroid include:

  • Fatigue and weakness
  • Feeling cold all the time
  • Joint pain and muscle soreness
  • Regularly feeling emotional or depressed
  • Weight gain
  • Slowed heart rate, movement, and speech
  • Dry skin
  • Heavy menstruation
  • High cholesterol
  • Anemia
  • Loss of libido
  • Recurring urinary and respiratory tract infections

There are several types of thyroid conditions and diseases, some of which are more difficult to heal than others.

Hypothyroidism

When the thyroid gland does not produce enough thyroid hormones (thyroxine) to keep your body in balance, it means the gland is under-active. Symptoms include fatigue, weight gain, cold sensitivity, constipation, memory loss, and muscle cramps.

Hyperthyroidism

An overactive thyroid occurs when your thyroid gland produces too much of the hormone thyroxine. This condition can cause heat intolerance, increased sweating, insomnia, decreased appetite, rapid heartbeat, irritability, nervousness, dizziness, and anxiety. You’ll see below that there are many natural supplements for Hyperthyroidism.

Grave’s Disease

This condition results in the overproduction of thyroid hormones, which can also cause Hyperthyroidism.

Hashimoto’s Disease

Also known as chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis (Hypothyroidism), Hashimoto’s disease causes your immune system to attack your thyroid. This causes it to underperform and then overcompensate, swinging back and forth in pendulum-like fashion. While this and other thyroid conditions tend to affect middle-aged women, they can all occur in anyone at any age.

Western Thyroid Medication

While doctors most often prescribe the drug knowns as synthetic thyroxine, a medication that’s identical to our T4 hormones, there are several ways to nurture and potentially heal your thyroid. The reason T3 is not always prescribed is that T4 will naturally convert to T3. That said, T3 is more potent and more effective than T4.

Levothyroxine (Synthroid): a synthetic version of T4 and the preferred treatment of hypothyroidism.

Liothyronine (Cytomel): a synthetic version of T3 sometimes used in the treatment of hypothyroidism. Some doctors avoid prescribing this because it can cause hormone toxicity and Hyperthyroidism in some cases.

Levothyroxine Alternative: DTE

When your thyroid is not functioning correctly, taking natural, Desiccated Thyroid Extract (DTE) can change your life. For many, they can provide excellent and effective alternatives to Levothyroxine and Liothyronine.

Desiccated thyroid is a thyroid gland extract, usually taken from a cow (bovine) or pig (porcine). Once extracted, DTE is dried and milled into a powder and made in the form of a daily pill at 75, 150, 300mg, and more.

Products in this category to consider include Thyroid-Gold from Natural Thyroid Solutions (my favorite), Armour Thyroid, and Nature Throid. In a U.S. NIH study that compared the effects of DTE and Levothyroxine, the vast majority of patients preferred DTE. Overall, these patients felt better over time and experienced weight loss when compared to the patients who used Levothyroxine.

DTE might also be better for your emotional and psychological well-being, which directly affects relationships, financial well-being, spiritual health, and personal growth.

Thyroid Support Supplements

Taken in moderation, these are the primary supplements found in most thyroid regiments:book-live-intuitive-reading-with-paul-wagner

    • Selenium
    • Iron (and Tyrosine)
    • Vitamin B
    • Vitamin D
    • Zinc
    • Probiotics
    • Zinc, turmeric, Vitamins B and D (your best thyroid support vitamins), Iron, Selenium, Probiotics
    • For Hashimoto’s only: Magnesium converts the inactive T4 thyroid hormone into the active form of T3, which some people find helpful
    • Ayurvedic herbs for thyroid health: Ashwagandha, Guggul, Pepperin, Bauhinia Purpurea, Kanchanara (Bauhinia variegata, purple mountain ebony), Jatamansi, Brahmi, Shilajit, Gokshura, Punarnava
    • Excellent thyroid supplement brands include Thorne, 1 Body, Pure, MegaFood, and Now. Take your time and research all of the possible supplements that promise to nurture your thyroid back to health.

Remember, the best thyroid supplement is the one that gives you the energy and balance that leads to a peaceful and happy life.

Things to Limit Or Avoid

While some of these things are okay in moderation, be careful around how much you regularly consume.

  • Avoid kale, broccoli, spinach, and cabbage
  • Limit soy foods like tofu, tempeh, and edamame
  • Starchy foods like sweet potatoes
  • Limit fruits including peaches, pears, and strawberries
  • Limit alcohol, coffee, green tea, and other caffeinated beverages as they can irritate your thyroid
  • Millet
  • Pine nuts
  • Peanuts
  • Highly processed foods like hot dogs, chips, desserts, and snacks
  • Taking too much selenium and iodine can be harmful
  • Anger
  • Exaggerated emotional reactions
  • Doctors who know little about your thyroid, and who have no interest in learning the latest and most effective methodologies

Food and Modalities to Heal Your Thyroid

While seeking the help of a certified health practitioner is always recommended, here are a few things you might want to add to your life and daily regiment:

  • Meditation and deep breathing will increase your vibration, which can have a lasting effect on your brain, heart, and thyroid
  • Forgiveness and crying will release stored, toxic energy that could be inhibiting your thyroid
  • Essential Oils for thyroid nodules include spearmint, peppermint, myrrh, rose, cedarwood, lavender
  • Bach Flower Remedies help reduce anxiety and return people to their natural emotional state.
  • N.E.T. Remedies help balance and honor your emotions
  • Seaweeds such as kelp, nori, and wakame are rich in iodine
  • Salted nuts like Brazil, macadamia, and hazelnuts are abundant in selenium
  • Eggs
  • Yogurt
  • Baked Fish
  • Flaxseed
  • A forward-thinking, open-minded doctor or D.O. who can fathom and act upon ideas sourced after 1970

Your thyroid is like a little kitten. Love her, massage her, talk to her, and breathe life into her whenever possible. Do the same for all of your organs and you’ll give yourself the best chance at lasting health.

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