How To Be Appropriately Loving & Intimate With Coaching Clients

Photo from Shutterstock – Love Your Coaching Clients Intimately Yet Professionally

How To Be Loving, Caring, And Appropriately Intimate With Your Coaching Clients

Being a loving and caring coach is an art that strikes a balance between intimacy and professionalism. You must simultaneously be able to break down barriers and get to know your clients well and be able to maintain a level of distance so that you can appropriately and objectively guide them. To be too removed from them will cause a lack of trust and effectiveness in your advice, while to be too intimate can cloud your judgment and make it difficult to apply the right level of force and challenge.

As an intuitive life and business coach, I’ve had a long time to contemplate just how intimate and loving I should be during sessions. In the early days, it took time to figure out the spectrum of intimacy and what techniques were most effective. Now, I’d like to pass on what I’ve learned to you so that you can begin building healthy relationships with your own coaching clients.

First, Learn To Be Loving and Forgiving of Yourself

The first part of learning how to effectively participate in any social interaction with another person is to apply the situation to yourself. If you were in your client’s shoes, how would you want to be treated by a coach?

This is a wonderful exercise because you should begin building a daily routine, if you haven’t already, that includes meditation to clear your energy for the day and practice self-love and forgiveness. I swear by one of my favorite prayers called the Ho’Oponopono prayer, which is a Hawaiian tradition of bringing things back into balance through forgiveness.

There are many other prayers, mantras, rituals, and sutras that you can add to your routine to prepare for your clients. If you’re interested in this Hawaiian self-forgiveness prayer, however, try this:

Find silence, breathe, and maybe close your eyes to turn inward or look into a mirror to really confront yourself. Then, repeat this phrase:


You can repeat this prayer a hundred times a day if you’d like. I find it is so cleansing, relieving, and helpful for getting through the day. By emptying yourself of any regrets, hurts, and guilts, you can appropriately show up for your clients. You won’t project your feelings and personal issues onto them. Instead, you can be there for them, be a sounding board, and take on each new challenge with a blank slate.

Isn’t that how you’d want to be treated?

Deep forgiveness can come through divination tools like The Shankara Oracle.

Express Appreciation and Gratitude to Your Old and New Coaching Clients

Once you’re properly loving yourself, you can extend that light to others. Every new coaching client is a gift, and they are gifting you further by allowing you into their lives intimately and asking for help. Acknowledging that you need help and seeking the right source for guidance is a huge deal, so you should make sure your coaching clients get the appreciation and support they deserve.

Make sure that at the start of your journey together, that appreciation is expressed. Express that gratitude and encouragement at the beginning of every session as well because they’ve chosen to come back and keep going!

Everyone expresses appreciation differently, so don’t be scared to get creative and keep it unique to you. Regardless of how you choose to show this gratitude, make sure it is genuine. Connect with your coaching client, make them feel seen and heard, and embrace them with your light and love. 

I’m so proud of you for taking this path for yourself.

I’m so grateful you’ve chosen me to go on this journey with you.

Thank you for continuing to trust me with your goals.

The more appreciated your coaching client feels, the more they’ll begin to trust you, break down walls, and in turn, move forward in their growth.

Create a Space Devoid of Judgement

Cleansing yourself of guilt, hurt, and regrets is such a good idea when coaching because it allows you to extend forgiveness and acceptance to your clients. Your coaching clients have come to you for help because they know they need it – they don’t need to be reminded or berated for mistakes or flaws. In order for them to move forward and make progress, they need a fully comfortable space free of judgment.

To best serve your coaching clients, you’ll need to get to know them very well and learn the intricate webs of their lives. The only way a client will let you in fully to every detail and nuance is if you make them feel that they can say and do anything without being judged. They need to feel like you are a safe confidant is who only there to help pull out of jams, fix errors, and find the best way forward.

In other words, you are to your coaching clients what doctors are for the injured and sick. You are there as a professional who just needs to know as much information as possible in order to make the correct diagnosis and create a treatment plan – not to make the client feel bad for how they got in that tough space or make them feel that they’ve caused the problems they now find themselves dealing with. When a coaching client truly feels comfortable with you, they’ll open up fully, tell you everything you need to know, and be much more willing to participate in the exercises you’ve suggested with full enthusiasm and trust.

Patience is a Virtue

I have no doubt in my mind that you’ve heard the phrase, “patience is a virtue.” There are two sides to this: patience is so very important in every aspect of your life, but it is also a skill that must be practiced and honed, and it is difficult to maintain.

Coaching clients have come to you with a list of problems, and you are tasked with helping guide them to the other side. When you have many clients, you’ll have a wide range of clients. Some might have difficult issues yet have very fast journeys to realization and reach success quickly. Others might have seemingly minor issues, but they struggle every step of the way. Some coaching clients might just not be working out at all. You need to exercise patience in every scenario.

Frequently remind yourself that you should always be seeing things from their point of view. How would you want your coach to treat you if you had some very deep-seated, complex issues? How would you want your coach to act if you were struggling for a long time on something that seemed so simple for others? What about if you were stuck and every session you attended made you lose more faith in your abilities?

As a coach, you might feel frustrated, but remember that you’re on the other side of things. How much more frustrated and lost must your client feel when these issues are directly affecting them personally? It’s your job to help show them the light at the end of the tunnel, and maybe every pivot to try new techniques and stay flexible rather than give up on them.

Stay Present with Your Coaching Clients

Many times, I have coaching clients who come to me after everyone else in their lives, whether personal or professional or both, have heard about their issues thousands of times and don’t want to be involved anymore or have given up on them. Maybe they feel that no one else is there to support them, love them, and listen to them. You might be all they have.

Enter every new client journey and session with the attitude that you are all that the client has. You’re the only resource to help them reach their goals, and you’re the only person that’s supporting them, loving them, and caring for them every step of the way. With this attitude, you’ll learn to stay fully present for each client. You’ll listen to every word and put every ounce of your effort and care into their guidance.

The client needs to feel that their journey is the most important thing on your plate and that you are completely invested in their success! Always respond to their needs in a timely and loving manner. 


You are a beautiful Living Being filled with light and love, born from stardust. You are unlimited potential in every direction. With a focus on discipline, virtue, and your own goodness, you can become as expanded and liberated as you desire.

Pray for others and the Universe prays for us.


Meet Paul Wagner

Paul Wagner (Shri Krishna Kalesh) is an intuitive mystic, clairvoyant reader, and a loving life & business coach. He created “THE PERSONALITY CARDS,” a powerful Oracle-Tarot deck that’s helpful in life, love, and relationships.

He created The Shankara Oracle, a profound divination tool that includes 18 gemstones, a lavishly designed divination board, and over 300 penetrative oracle cards – all to help you heal to your core and illuminate your Being.

Paul studied with Lakota elders in the Pecos Wilderness, who nurtured his empathic abilities and taught him the sacred rituals. He has lived at ashrams with enlightened masters, including Amma, the Hugging Saint, for whom he’s delivered keynotes at Her worldwide events.

Paul tours the world lecturing on spiritual liberation. He lovingly offers intuitive readings, inspirational coaching, and illuminating courses to help others with self-discovery, decision-making, healing, and forgiveness. Book a session with Paul: HERE

The Connect And Let Go Process

The Connect & Let Go Process

By Shri Krishna Kalesh



I developed this process by first creating The Personality Cards, my first oracle deck. The idea here is to focus on the challenging imagery that often reemerges so that the emotions arise just enough to be released. Connect with the imagery and emotions, then let them go. 

Additionally, focusing on personality attributes that have caused you trouble in the past can help you connect with the emotions that may have inspired them, so you can also release those as well. Connect with the attributes and related emotions, then let them go.


Overall Process

In all things, we must welcome our feelings and emotions. Never judging them, we fully embrace them, and we lovingly nudge them to rise up. Then we can either lovingly dissolve, coddle, release, or watch them gently exit our systems.

We do the same with others who are exhibiting feelings and emotions. We do not judge them for how these things emerge for them. 

We do not blame the person who is upset for being too angry, sad, depressed, brash, or anything other exaggerated emotion. 

We do not judge cursing or harsh language. 

While we, of course, should not allow physical violence and protect ourselves at all costs, we encourage and seek only the person’s acknowledgment of their pain, their healing, their path to letting go, and the journey toward forgiveness.


To Start

Begin the process by first acknowledging if any image comes to mind that you can welcome into your sphere. In doing so, can you feel the motions related to it? 

Can you focus so intently on it that it inspires an emotion to rise to the surface? 

Can you process this emotion by either crying or feeling the intensity of it for some time?



Self-Inquiry Process

For all of these questions, you can either sit with your Self and process these within your mind and heart, or you can add journaling to help you connect and let go.

Be vulnerable with your Self in this moment.

Open your heart to awaken your own healing.


The Divine

Ask God or Deity or Guru to be with you.

Open your heart to The Divine.

Allow your Self to be a child, truly open and pure.

Tell The Divine your problems as if She is your best friend.

Describe what bothers you most.

Describe what brings you pain.

Ask God to be with you, love you, hold you, and bless you.


Express Your Emotions

How does this make you feel?

Now that you are open and feeling loved, explore the images that come to mind.

Can you find the tears?

If not, can you breathe for a while to see what emerges?

Can you tell your Self: I love you, I am with you, God loves you, you are doing a wonderful job.



Is there someone you can forgive?

Is it you or someone else?

Can you empathize with the other person?

Can you empathize with your Self and who you used to be?

Can you feel the other person’s pain?

Can you feel the pain of the former You?

Can you forgive them now?



Can you love and appreciate yourself for working on your Self?

What do you need to appreciate at this time?

Can you let your tears flow?

Can you let forgiveness flow?

Can you allow the troubling imagery to exist and then dissolve?

Can you let your grudges, grievances, and projections go?

Can you let it all go?

Can you forgive everything?



What did you let go of today?

Describe what shifted

Describe how you feel now

Describe what is different

How will you go forward? 


Healing After Letting Go

Om 3 times into your hands. 

Rub your whole body 3 times with your holy hands.

If you’d like, imagine your deity’s or guru’s face in the palm of your hands as you do this.

Pray for everyone involved. 

Chant your mantra for some time.

Tell The Divine how much you love her.

Tell your Self how much you love her.

Recite something like: I am loving, peaceful, and happy, ready for a new day!


If you find this process helpful, you might also check out The Shankara Oracle. You might also love The Sedona Method, created by Lester Levensen. It can be quite healing and helpful.


Connect & Let Go © 2018 HummingBear LLC