Celebrity Readings & Coaching

Working With Celebrities & Why They Pay More

It can be quite exciting to work with a celebrity as their encouraging life or business coach. The thought of helping someone of such wealth and fame to shift their paradigms and become a brighter and more loving light in the world feels wonderful to consider. 

The famous folk I’ve worked with have largely been quite remarkable and lovely. Some dive deeply and find profound shifts within them – embodying a beautiful and illuminating rebirth, while others are too busy and can only skim the surface, either not seeking or not reaching the rebirth they desire.

Some of these amazingly popular people do everything they can to live a healed and peaceful life, while finding every way possible to give back to others. A few that I’ve coached have rebirthed as 100% philanthropic geniuses. God bless them for their inner work and the wonderful things they’re doing in the world.

There are also the deeply unhappy celebs who are so broken, misguided, and paranoid, they can barely fathom someone loving them or genuinely encouraging them without agenda. Some of them live within controlling family systems where they play puppet queen, while their families pull heart strings to manipulate them. Sadly, these types entrench themselves in personal drama and passive-aggressive theatricalities.

The most dramatic and alienated celebs might also have low self-esteem and self-worth born from what their families projected onto them over time, which deprives them of understanding how beautiful they are and how wonderful it is to work with them.

But, at times, these types tend to allow their paranoia to take over, prompting them to go into overreactive or DEFCON 5 mode, where they hate everybody – they break hearts & agreements – and play the victim. They might also become dangerously aggressive, even delusional, compounding their self-denial, narcissism, abusive nature, and brokenness to the point of nearly being unhealable. God bless these folks because it’s just tragic.

But our egos love drama! If they can’t source a positive identity, they will quickly choose a hateful one – just so that it has something to obsess over. We shouldn’t believe any of it – because the ego and mind are contrivances. We are not either of those things – we are so much more!

I’ve seen it all!

The life of a celebrity is often glamorized, but the reality is far more complex. While fame and fortune may seem appealing, celebrities’ pressures, challenges, and sociopathologies are unique and often overwhelming. That’s where my specialized coaching services come in.

The Celebrity Paradox:

Celebrities are, in many ways, like everyone else, but their lives are magnified and intensified. Their personal and business struggles are often played out in the public eye, their relationships are scrutinized, and their mistakes are amplified. This constant pressure can lead to emotional turmoil, strained relationships, and even mental health issues. Meanwhile, their egos are precious to them, preventing their self-inquiry, self-responsibility, and growth.

Additionally, celebrities often have a team of people around them who may not always have their best interests at heart. This can create a sense of isolation and distrust, making it difficult to form genuine connections.

And they’re often so caught up in talking and validating themselves that they cannot listen to valuable information, let alone truly absorb it. So deeply and darkly absorbed with their temporary selves and this candle-flicker of a short life, they miss out on so much – including going deeper. 

The Paradox of Celebrity Vulnerability:

Despite their outward confidence and success, celebrities are often deeply vulnerable. The pressure to maintain a perfect image, the fear of failure, and the isolation that comes with fame can create a breeding ground for insecurity and self-doubt. This vulnerability, while often masked by bravado, is a key factor in why many celebrities seek coaching. They crave a safe space to explore their fears, confront their flaws, and connect with their authentic selves.

The High Cost of Transformation:

Celebrities are often willing to pay a premium for coaching services because they understand the value of personal growth and transformation. They recognize that their success is not just about talent or luck, but also about mindset, resilience,and emotional intelligence. Investing in themselves is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity for navigating the complexities of their lives and careers.

The Importance of Confidentiality:

Confidentiality is paramount when working with celebrities. They need to trust that their deepest fears, insecurities, and challenges will remain private. This trust allows them to be vulnerable, open up about their struggles, and engage in the difficult work of self-reflection and change. Coaches who work with celebrities must uphold the highest ethical standards and maintain strict confidentiality to foster a safe and supportive environment.

The Impact of Coaching on a Celebrity’s Life and Career:

Effective coaching can have a transformative impact on a celebrity’s life and career. By helping them develop self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and resilience, coaching can empower celebrities to make better decisions, build healthier relationships, and overcome personal obstacles. This, in turn, can lead to greater success, fulfillment, and a lasting legacy that extends beyond fame and fortune.

I hope these additional sections enhance your article and provide valuable insights into the unique aspects of working with celebrities. Please let me know if you have any other questions or requests.

Why Celebrities Pay Higher Coaching Fees

Given these unique challenges, my coaching services for celebrities are tailored to address their specific needs. This involves a deeper level of engagement, more frequent communication, and a higher degree of sensitivity to their delicate situations.

Here are some of the reasons why my coaching services for celebrities come at a premium:

Intense Pressure: Celebrities face constant scrutiny from the media and the public. This can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression. My coaching helps celebrities develop coping mechanisms and resilience to handle these pressures.

Complex Relationships: Celebrities often have complicated relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners. These relationships can be strained by fame, jealousy, and unrealistic expectations. My coaching helps celebrities navigate these complexities and build healthier relationships.

Unique Challenges: Celebrities face unique challenges that most people don’t have to deal with, such as stalkers, paparazzi, and online harassment. My coaching provides a safe space for celebrities to discuss these issues and develop strategies for dealing with them.

High Stakes: Celebrities often have much at stake, personally and professionally. A single misstep can easily damage their reputations, and a single misstep can derail their careers. My coaching helps celebrities make sound decisions and avoid unnecessary risks.

Intrusive Security Measures: Celebrities have security teams to protect them, but these measures can also create challenges and be mired in paranoia and delusional hatred. Security personnel may engage in invasive practices like hacking and surveillance, damaging relationships and creating unnecessary drama, harm, and stress. My coaching helps celebrities navigate these issues and establish boundaries with their security teams and with their paranoia – which often stems from their narcissism. 

Unrealistic Expectations and Entitlement: Some celebrities may flip on a dime and break agreements in a heartbeat, believing the world revolves around them. They may fail to invest in relationships, preferring worship over genuine connection. My coaching helps them understand the impact of their actions, take responsibility, and develop healthier behavior patterns.

Depending upon the scenario, some fancy island and jet owners quickly play the victim and cannot fathom taking any responsibility for their decisions, agreements, and personhood. It’s narcissism at its most exaggerated best.

Oh, The Tragedy!

One sad and damaged celebrity client could not handle any introspection or feedback because she was too busy hating her sisters, avoiding participating in her marriage, hiring and firing people, and failing to pay a young pregnant woman whom she agreed to hire, all the while propping herself up as some holy mystical fairy. Her ego became so intrenched in this contrived new-age persona, she could not see what was true or false – and she couldn’t understand who her real friends were. She behaved like a runaway teenager, which is a tough identity to shake or heal. It takes TONS of work to get to the core of this broken identity. It all broke my heart, and I pray for her every day, but I took it all as an education. I sincerely hope she heals and develops self-love and integrity in her life.

As you might imagine, I don’t take on these types of people anymore. It’s too harmful and hurtful – and clearly not worth it.

How I Can Help:

I offer a comprehensive coaching program that addresses celebrities’ unique challenges, going beyond the surface-level issues of fame and fortune. My approach is both holistic and pragmatic, recognizing that celebrities often struggle with:

Ego Management: Fame can inflate egos, leading to unrealistic expectations, entitlement, and difficulty forming genuine connections. I help celebrities ground themselves, develop humility, and cultivate healthier relationships.

Emotional Volatility: Celebrity life’s emotional highs and lows can be destabilizing. I provide tools for emotional regulation, stress management, and cultivating inner peace.

Decision-Making: Celebrities often face high-stakes decisions with limited time and information. I help them develop critical thinking skills, assess risks, and make choices aligned with their values.

Relationship Dynamics: The relationships of celebrities are often complex and fraught with power imbalances. I help them establish healthy boundaries, communicate effectively, and navigate conflict with grace and integrity.

Spiritual Development: Many celebrities feel a spiritual void despite their outward success. I guide them on a journey of self-discovery, helping them connect with their authentic selves and find meaning beyond fame.

Some celebrities may resist introspection or shy away from taking responsibility for their actions. However, my approach is patient, compassionate, and persistent. Everyone, even the most seemingly difficult individuals, has the potential for growth and transformation.

For example, I once worked with a lovely, deep, and well-intentioned celebrity (and I continue to work with them) who was often unhappily entrenched in her ego and attitude, consumed by jealousy and resentment toward her friends, business manager, and a few members of her family. Through coaching, spiritual practices, and tough love, she broke down her defenses, allowed and confronted her shadow side, and began the journey towards self-awareness, self-responsibility, healing, and wholeness. 

She’s truly amazing, but she’s rare in the celebrity world. Gosh, I love her because she’s a real person who is always ready to do the real work. She follows through with every agreement she makes to me and herself. And WOASH – her personal and business ethics, earnestness, and offerings to the world are stunning!

My goal is not to change who you are, but to help you become the best version of yourself – and to help you offer things to the world that are worthy of your heart and goodness.

I believe true happiness and fulfillment come from within, not external validation. If you’re ready to embark on this journey of self-discovery and personal growth, I’m here to support you every step of the way.


If you’re a celebrity seeking guidance and support, please reach out. While my services are premium, investing in your spiritual and emotional well-being is priceless. Together, we can navigate the challenges of fame and create a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Remember: You don’t have to face these challenges alone. With the right support, humility, and effort, you can thrive in the spotlight and live a life that is true to yourself and your soul.

How To Be An Effective Intuitive Coach

Photo from Shutterstock: How To Be An Effective Intuitive Coach

How To Be An Effective Intuitive Coach

Coach. Leader. Guide. Mentor. These are just a few of the titles given to those people in our lives that encourage and lead us to be better. If these people in our lives do right by us, they can help us let go of the bad things about us, help us shed the old and ugly or broken parts of ourselves, and help us grow and develop into higher versions of ourselves.

An intuitive coach can have a much stronger effect on the lives of their clients because we can tap into the Universe, and connect with the higher presence in order to guide others to a deeper understanding of themselves.

What Does It Mean To Be “Intuitive”? 

Being intuitive means that we have the ability to have a sense about things from beyond, just simply by knowing it.  It is similar to common intuition, but stronger and more focused, as the sense is through a higher connection to the Universe – and the knowledge comes from beyond normal senses.

Tapping into the normal senses, a keen observation, and the skill of really listening to another individual – being able to put yourself in their shoes and understand where they are coming from – are essential parts of this ability too.  But the connection to a higher understanding is what gives intuitives knowledge beyond the normal senses and our ability to tap into yourself and your journey well beyond what you might have before.

What About Intuitive Coaching?

To be an intuitive coach requires having a specific skill set. Without having the abilities of an intuitive, you cannot be an effective intuitive coach (obviously).  While many claim to have these abilities, or lead people in need astray through the smoke and mirrors of faked or disingenuous psychic and intuitive abilities – they are looking for profit or power or both at the expense of others.

True intuitive coaching helps clients with self-growth, guiding them on the path of tapping into their souls and uncovering their truest selves.  Your role as an intuitive coach, and my role as well, is to lead clients to a deeper soul-knowledge and awareness of themselves:

      • What battles do they face? 
      • What lies have they been told or have they told themselves?  
      • What is it that they truly want out of their relationships? 
      • What does their life path look like?
      • What do they want from their career?
      • What is the plan moving forward?

All of this just scratches the surface of what it means to be an effective intuitive coach.  Let’s go deeper.

Understanding Your Role As a Coach

When we are young, our parents – if they are good parents – are our first source of guidance and discipline. However, as time goes on, we may rebel against our parents or start pushing back. This is natural, of course, and most people have done so in one form or another at some point in their lives. It’s possible that we feel they tell us what to do for their own benefit, or their advice is too predictable because we’ve heard it all before.

If the rebellion happens at a younger age, this is where coaches can come into our lives. They are parent-like figures that are not our parents – we somehow inherently take their advice and leadership more seriously because they are not as closely involved. As we grow up, we do not lose that need to have mentors that can both become intimately connected with us and still remain removed enough to offer unbiased, objective guidance.

Just as we often find ourselves listening to coaches more so than our parents at a young age because we can choose them as our leaders instead of the Universe assigning them to us, we need mentors in our adult lives that can help us see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, we just need to speak with someone who won’t stand to benefit from one outcome over another, who we haven’t grown up around to the point that we have too similar views and influences, or who won’t repeat predictable advice. 

Your role as a coach is to understand why your clients would need you in the first place: as a mentor and confidant who can evaluate situations from the outside, apply new perspectives, and not cast judgments that fall too close to home.

Finding Inspiration In Other Coaches

These days, coaches can be seen almost everywhere you turn, and they take many forms. You might be looking to be an intuitive coach, but there’s a lot to be learned from the way different types of coaches lead their subjects. The most noticeable and perhaps public form of coaching that we see today is that of the sporting variety, but there are very famous coaches to be found under other titles – religious leaders and teachers, for example. 

Secular Coaches

Some of the most famous coaches in history include Vince Lombardi, Mike Krzyzewski, and Bill Belichick. Wisdom such as “Practice doesn’t make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect,” (Vince Lombardi) can be found on walls in halls of fame, and heard repeated at youth sporting practices across the country.

While helpful in guiding young people in the direction of building better lives, these iconic quotes and leaders are not applicable to all corners of life. These figureheads and their words of wisdom can guide us in the right direction, but they often lack the spiritual, higher note that we crave – that connection to something more.  This is why we need to turn to our religious and spiritual leaders and begin the journey of finding intuitive coaches to help guide us in finding a deeper understanding of ourselves and the Universe.


There are a wide array of religious and spiritual leaders that cultures and religions across time and oceans have turned to for help. Some whose teachings I lean on often in my coaching and life journeys include Amma, the “Hugging Saint,” Anandamayi Ma, and many other inspiring divine masters.

Spiritual “coaches” like these take a much less simple, yet often more profound approach. They see things from a much higher level and can break down life based on value, purpose, and meaning rather than just in-the-moment, superficial consequences. 

A great intuitive coach will find inspiration from both the secular and spiritual gurus of the past and present to guide them in forming their own style. They can use a mix of superficial logic and high-minded thought, always staying flexible in their approach based on the client’s personality and needs in each session.

How To Be a Good Intuitive Coach

There are all kinds of coaches: There are strict and impatient disciplinarians and lenient, patient, and flexible coaches. There are coaches we remember with loathing and the coaches whose wisdom we carry with us through the rest of our days. Ultimately, we strive to be mentors who effectively change the course of our clients’ lives and their outlooks, but it takes a special kind of formation, practice, and mindset.

Learn From What It Means To Be a Bad Coach

We all have had those people in our lives that claimed to be helpers but we knew were either liars or users. They were manipulating us or the people around us for their own gain.  Bad coaches don’t fall far from this tree.

Many times, a bad coach is not dissimilar to a so-called psychic.  A large number of people who claim to be psychic have done so without honing what abilities they have to connect with a higher consciousness.  This leads to many frauds giving themselves the title of psychic while using the tarot cards and smoke show to create a profit for themselves using a soul’s need for help.

If you lack the skill set to be an intuitive coach – that is, if you do not have a good or strong connection to the Universe, or simply do not have the natural intuitive abilities – you should not be an intuitive coach.  However, if you have the natural intuitive inclination, but have not ever used it, fear not.  With time and practice, you can harness that natural intuitive gift into something that can grow your connection to your true self and the Universe around you.

Without the ability to move their own egos aside, these people will have difficulty being able to actually help their clients, and this may only lead others into more hardship.

Evaluate Your Intentions and Limitations

Much like being a professional athlete, a star musician, or anything exceptional, it takes a particular kind of person to be a good and effective coach. Beyond having the inherent talent and wisdom, you’ll also need the motivation to commit and the desire to truly serve others.

Coaches need to genuinely want to be around the people they will be guiding or leading. Coaches need to want to help those around them, to challenge them to be better, to grow both as people in general and in whatever it is that the coach is leading them towards. That being said, if you do not like being around people, particularly difficult or distraught people in challenging situations, coaching may not be for you. 

Coaching comes with all sorts of challenges. Many different personalities will come to you, requiring guidance. And depending on the kind of coaching you will be engaging in, you may have to learn how to manage those personalities and situations both on an individual level and as a unit. You must get them to learn how to work with others as well as with themselves. If you do it right, you’ll be able to enjoy watching different personalities develop and evolve, and that is a beautiful and powerful thing that you can have the honor to guide.

It’s also important to remember that you are not the coach for everyone, and not every client is the client for you. Learn which personalities you work well with, and learn to read the intentions of people who approach you for guidance. Being able to discern well which clients you should accept and reject will be crucial to your own well-being and the success of your clients.

Only Coach What You Know

Ultimately, you’ll need to have a particular skill set that a client is looking for. Coaching requires one to be an expert, or at least nearly so, in whatever area or industry one is going to focus on as a coach. Oftentimes, the worst coaches are the people who have barely scratched the surface personally, yet have decided to advertise themselves to mentees as experts. Or even worse, they have taken up the title with no experience whatsoever just to have a position of power.

So, if you are particularly good at something – in this case, intuitive guidance and readings – and have the desire to help others grow, then I would highly recommend you as an intuitive coach. You might then also choose to niche down even further. If you have a tremendous amount of experience in business, for example, you might consider specifically being an intuitive business coach.

Build Your Intuitive Toolkit

Strengthening your intuitive abilities takes genuine commitment and willingness to dive deep into oneself, no matter what one might find. It requires learning true forgiveness, being wholly accepting of yourself, and sharing your beautiful light with others.

Some ways I’ve gotten in touch with myself are my favorite rituals, mantras, prayers and sutras. Specifically, I love getting myself through the day by repeating the Ho’Oponono mantra hundreds of times. This chant is one of full, genuine forgiveness of oneself and of others so that you are left with no attachments to guilt, regret, or hurt. Doing this allows me to center myself and better serve my coaching clients. It breaks down all physical barriers and attachments to this world so that I can connect with myself and the Universe more fully. I highly recommend creating a mental toolkit of all the spiritual and centering practices that will help you become a better coach, and make sure to make them part of your daily routine.

When it comes to your coaching sessions, make sure you’ve set up a sacred space. Tapping into your psychic and intuitive abilities requires a safe, clean, and spiritual space conducive to high vibrations and devoid of interruptions. Make sure you store all your divination tools with sacred respect as well, whether you set up a shelf or an altar for them. Build up your collection of tarot cards, oracle cards, crystals, oils, and more that can help you fully tap into your knowledge and abilities.

Finally, practice turning your intuitions into practical, grounded advice that’s truly helpful to your clients. As an intuitive coach, your role is more than just channeling messages to your clients. You help must interpret these messages in applicable ways so that your abilities are used for genuine guidance and formation. Never forget to show gratitude as well, both to the Universe and to your clients.

Consider My Personality Cards for Guidance

I would recommend building into your toolkit the Personality Cards I developed some time ago.  They might add some fun and depth to the tarot card reading experience for clients.  When used in the right way, the Personality Cards are always spot-on and help lead clients to a deeper understanding of themselves.

The Personality Cards don’t have to be used just for clients, either!  You can use them yourself in your daily preparations – during prayer, meditation, or self-reflection.  A good intuitive coach does not stop practicing or deepening their connection to the Universe.

If you lose that close connection, and that intuitive understanding gets muffled, you will not be able to help your clients – you may only hurt them and yourself.   

The Personality Cards are a great and fun way to stay on track on a day-to-day basis.  They are also an effective tool to help your clients open their eyes to deeper understanding and assist you in the guidance process in their sessions 

Contact Me For Further Intuitive Coaching Formation

Intuitive Coaching requires the skill set of having a deep connection to the Universe and being able to harness that natural ability.  Having a deep desire to help people is also necessary, and beyond that, a unique ability to understand others – to step into another person’s shoes and guide them on their journey to finding the right path.  Let the Universe guide them through you, and both you and your client can reach a more enlightened state of consciousness.  

If you are thinking about starting down the path to becoming an Intuitive Coach, or are not sure if that is a path you want to take – please feel free to reach out regarding a coaching plan or private session.


You are a beautiful Living Being filled with light and love, born from stardust. You are unlimited potential in every direction. With a focus on discipline, virtue, and your own goodness, you can become as expanded and liberated as you desire.

Meet Paul Wagner

Paul Wagner (Shri Krishna Kalesh) is an intuitive mystic, clairvoyant reader, and a loving life & business coach. He created “THE PERSONALITY CARDS,” a powerful Oracle-Tarot deck that’s helpful in life, love, and relationships.

He created The Shankara Oracle, a profound divination tool that includes 18 gemstones, a lavishly designed divination board, and over 300 penetrative oracle cards – all to help you heal to your core and illuminate your Being.

Paul studied with Lakota elders in the Pecos Wilderness, who nurtured his empathic abilities and taught him the sacred rituals. He has lived at ashrams with enlightened masters, including Amma, the Hugging Saint, for whom he’s delivered keynotes at Her worldwide events.

Paul tours the world lecturing on spiritual liberation. He lovingly offers intuitive readings, inspirational coaching, and illuminating courses to help others with self-discovery, decision-making, healing, and forgiveness. Book a session with Paul: HERE

Spiritual Bypassing And How It Can Harm You

We all have our avoidance mechanisms. Maybe it’s a Netflix binge to avoid dealing with something uncomfortable in your life, or perhaps it’s constantly checking your phone, so you don’t have to address the awkward silence with a friend.

Whether we know it or not, most of us put up roadblocks that keep us from having to really look at something uncomfortable going on in our lives and deal with it. Such avoidance mechanisms are referred to as “spiritual bypassing,” which is a term coined by psychologist and author John C. Calloway in his book, “Unitive Thinking: New Visions of Self, Community, and Society.”

In his article “Spiritual Bypassing: What It Is and Why it Matters,” Dr. Neela Samant explains that spiritual bypassing refers to “a tendency among enlightened individuals to use their spirituality as a means of evading rather than addressing problematical aspects of themselves — what they see as negative or unworthy parts of themselves — as well as challenging social issues such as oppression, injustice, and inequality.”

The following will explain what spiritual-bypassing is, why you might be doing it, how it might hurt you (and others), and how you can stop doing it once and for all.

What Is Spiritual Bypassing?

Spiritual bypassing is when you use your spiritual practice or beliefs to avoid addressing issues that are uncomfortable to you. You use your spiritual or growth practice as an “out” clause to avoid addressing something you don’t want to deal with. This might be an issue related to your psychological health, some unresolved trauma, or something that challenges your identity.

Why Do People Spiritual Bypass?

People use spiritual bypassing because it’s easier than facing what’s really going on. Whenever something challenges your identity or you have some unresolved trauma that you haven’t dealt with, it can be painful and uncomfortable to confront that. It can feel like you’re being pulled into a black hole of self-doubt.

There are also issues of scarcity that can come up when you’re faced with your own struggles. You might feel like you’re not “good enough”, or that there isn’t enough “success” or “perfection” to go around. In this way, confronting your issues can feel like a threat to your own sense of security and identity.

How Can Spiritual Bypassing Harm You?

When you use spiritual bypassing, you don’t really get to confront your issues and work through them. This means they stay stuck in your system and continue to manifest in your life as unhealthy behaviors and thought patterns.

What often happens is that you might see some initial success using your spiritual practice to avoid dealing with your issues, but then your issues catch up with you. When this happens, you may feel like you have to turn to your spiritual practice even more, which can cause spiritual bypassing to become a chronic pattern in your life.

How To Stop Spiritually Bypassing?

First, you need to be aware that you’re doing it. To do this, you can keep a journal where you write down your feelings and thoughts. You can also talk to a trusted friend about what you’re dealing with and notice what you’re turning to as an “out” clause.

When you become aware of what you’re doing, you can start to challenge the thought patterns that lead you to use your spirituality as a crutch. Start to notice what you’re telling yourself and whether it’s actually true or not. You can also try to apply the same rules to yourself that you would apply to a friend.

Confront Yourself Head-On

When we look at ourselves honestly, we can connect with and release stored and suppressed emotions, and we can identify and release the personalities we create that do not truly honor who we are. If we continuously paint everything pretty and purple, we will have no pathway to deconstruct our false Selves.

Look at yourself, honestly. Admit your faults and seek to improve upon them. Release the aspects that do not serve you. Own your nature and life so that you can advance mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

What The Masters Say

While I cannot provide direct quotes from Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi) or Mother Meera on spiritual bypassing, I can offer insights aligned with their teachings and general spiritual wisdom.

Spiritual bypassing is a term used to describe the tendency to use spiritual beliefs and practices to avoid facing and addressing emotional or psychological challenges. It involves using spirituality as a way to escape or deny aspects of our human experience. Both Amma and Mother Meera, known for their compassionate and practical spiritual teachings, would likely offer guidance on how to navigate this phenomenon.

  1. Amma’s Perspective: Amma, often emphasizing the importance of selfless service and genuine compassion, might say:

    “True spirituality is not an escape from life’s challenges but a deep engagement with them. When we use spirituality to bypass our emotions or challenges, we miss the opportunity for real growth. Instead, let your spiritual practices be a means of cultivating inner strength and resilience to face life’s ups and downs with an open heart.”

  2. Mother Meera’s Perspective: Mother Meera, who emphasizes the transformative power of silent presence, might share:

    “Silence and stillness are powerful tools for self-discovery, but they should not become a means of avoiding the complexities of life. Spiritual growth involves facing our innermost truths, acknowledging our emotions, and integrating them into our spiritual journey. In stillness, find the courage to confront and embrace all aspects of yourself.”

How to Avoid Spiritual Bypassing:

Cultivate Self-Awareness: Both spiritual teachers would likely advocate for cultivating self-awareness. Recognize when spiritual practices are being used to avoid difficult emotions or challenges. Honest self-reflection is a crucial step in spiritual growth.

Integrate Spiritual Practices: Amma and Mother Meera might suggest integrating spiritual practices into daily life in a holistic way. Rather than compartmentalizing spirituality as an escape, make it an integral part of facing life’s challenges with equanimity and compassion.

Embrace Shadow Work: Shadow work involves exploring and integrating aspects of ourselves that we may have pushed into the shadows. Both spiritual leaders might encourage individuals to embrace shadow work as a vital part of the spiritual journey, acknowledging and transforming those aspects we may prefer to avoid.

Seek Genuine Connection: Spiritual bypassing can sometimes result from a desire to transcend human experiences. Amma and Mother Meera might emphasize the importance of genuine connection—with oneself and others. Authentic relationships and community support can provide a grounding foundation for spiritual growth.

Practice Compassion: Compassion is a central theme in the teachings of Amma and Mother Meera. They might encourage individuals to extend compassion not only to others but also to themselves. Embracing our vulnerabilities and imperfections with love and understanding is an essential aspect of the spiritual journey.

In essence, Amma and Mother Meera would likely emphasize that authentic spirituality involves facing life’s challenges with courage, compassion, and a genuine willingness to grow. Spiritual practices should be a means of deepening our connection with ourselves and others, rather than a way to avoid the inherent complexities of the human experience.


The point of spirituality is to help you be the best version of yourself you can be. It’s not there to be a crutch to get you out of dealing with things that challenge your identity. The more you confront your issues with spiritual bypassing, the more you’ll be able to use your spirituality for good.

You’ll also be a better friend to those who are dealing with their own issues by not using your spirituality as an “out” clause. There will always be challenges in life, and they are what make life exciting and meaningful.

By confronting your issues and using your spirituality to support yourself, you’ll be a happier, healthier, and more empowered person.

Meet Paul Wagner

Paul Wagner (Shri Krishna Kalesh) is an intuitive mystic, clairvoyant reader, and a loving life & business coach. He created “The Personality Cards,” a powerful Oracle-Tarot deck that’s helpful in life, love, and relationships.

He created The Shankara Oracle, a profound divination tool that includes 18 gemstones, a lavishly designed divination board, and over 300 penetrative oracle cards – all to help you heal to your core and illuminate your Being.

Paul studied with Lakota elders in the Pecos Wilderness, who nurtured his empathic abilities and taught him the sacred rituals. He has lived at ashrams with enlightened masters, including Amma, the Hugging Saint, for whom he’s delivered keynotes at Her worldwide events.

Paul tours the world lecturing on spiritual liberation. He lovingly offers intuitive readings, inspirational coaching, and illuminating courses to help others with self-discovery, decision-making, healing, and forgiveness. Book a session with Paul: HERE

The Connect And Let Go Process

The Connect & Let Go Process

By Shri Krishna Kalesh



I developed this process by first creating The Personality Cards, my first oracle deck. The idea here is to focus on the challenging imagery that often reemerges so that the emotions arise just enough to be released. Connect with the imagery and emotions, then let them go. 

Additionally, focusing on personality attributes that have caused you trouble in the past can help you connect with the emotions that may have inspired them, so you can also release those as well. Connect with the attributes and related emotions, then let them go.


Overall Process

In all things, we must welcome our feelings and emotions. Never judging them, we fully embrace them, and we lovingly nudge them to rise up. Then we can either lovingly dissolve, coddle, release, or watch them gently exit our systems.

We do the same with others who are exhibiting feelings and emotions. We do not judge them for how these things emerge for them. 

We do not blame the person who is upset for being too angry, sad, depressed, brash, or anything other exaggerated emotion. 

We do not judge cursing or harsh language. 

While we, of course, should not allow physical violence and protect ourselves at all costs, we encourage and seek only the person’s acknowledgment of their pain, their healing, their path to letting go, and the journey toward forgiveness.


To Start

Begin the process by first acknowledging if any image comes to mind that you can welcome into your sphere. In doing so, can you feel the motions related to it? 

Can you focus so intently on it that it inspires an emotion to rise to the surface? 

Can you process this emotion by either crying or feeling the intensity of it for some time?



Self-Inquiry Process

For all of these questions, you can either sit with your Self and process these within your mind and heart, or you can add journaling to help you connect and let go.

Be vulnerable with your Self in this moment.

Open your heart to awaken your own healing.


The Divine

Ask God or Deity or Guru to be with you.

Open your heart to The Divine.

Allow your Self to be a child, truly open and pure.

Tell The Divine your problems as if She is your best friend.

Describe what bothers you most.

Describe what brings you pain.

Ask God to be with you, love you, hold you, and bless you.


Express Your Emotions

How does this make you feel?

Now that you are open and feeling loved, explore the images that come to mind.

Can you find the tears?

If not, can you breathe for a while to see what emerges?

Can you tell your Self: I love you, I am with you, God loves you, you are doing a wonderful job.



Is there someone you can forgive?

Is it you or someone else?

Can you empathize with the other person?

Can you empathize with your Self and who you used to be?

Can you feel the other person’s pain?

Can you feel the pain of the former You?

Can you forgive them now?



Can you love and appreciate yourself for working on your Self?

What do you need to appreciate at this time?

Can you let your tears flow?

Can you let forgiveness flow?

Can you allow the troubling imagery to exist and then dissolve?

Can you let your grudges, grievances, and projections go?

Can you let it all go?

Can you forgive everything?



What did you let go of today?

Describe what shifted

Describe how you feel now

Describe what is different

How will you go forward? 


Healing After Letting Go

Om 3 times into your hands. 

Rub your whole body 3 times with your holy hands.

If you’d like, imagine your deity’s or guru’s face in the palm of your hands as you do this.

Pray for everyone involved. 

Chant your mantra for some time.

Tell The Divine how much you love her.

Tell your Self how much you love her.

Recite something like: I am loving, peaceful, and happy, ready for a new day!


If you find this process helpful, you might also check out The Shankara Oracle. You might also love The Sedona Method, created by Lester Levensen. It can be quite healing and helpful.


Connect & Let Go © 2018 HummingBear LLC


What is Cushioning and Back-Burnering?

Am I Being Cushioned or Back-Burnered In My Relationship?

The first days of a relationship can be intoxicating – you’re falling in love, getting to know your new partner, and floating on the proverbial cloud. Everything is amazing, and then little by little, you may start to notice that the relationship you were so happy in has changed. Your partner is distant and secretive, and you feel like you can’t connect with them.

If this sounds familiar, you may be in a back-burner relationship. Read on to learn about cushioning and back-burnering and discover the warning signs that this is happening in your relationship.

What Is Cushioning?

So before we dive into how to tell if you’re being cushioned, let’s talk about what that term even means. Cushioning in dating is when your partner has someone set up as a back-up plan in case your relationship fails. Essentially, they’re fostering a semi-romantic relationship with another person that they can transition into a full-out dating relationship if things go south with you.

Cushioning happens when a relationship is on the rocks and someone is afraid of being alone. It can happen when your partner craves more attention than one person can reasonably give them. And in any case, it shows that your partner isn’t committed to you or your relationship and is making backup plans for when things fall apart.

What Is Back-Burnering?

While back-burnering can look similar on the surface, it differs from cushioning in a few different ways. When you’re on the back burner with someone, you aren’t their main priority in the relationship. They may or may not be pursuing a relationship with someone else, but they’re not giving you their all, either.

When you’re being back-burnered, you may find that your partner doesn’t seem to have time for you or interest in being with you. You may feel like a second choice, and you might find that you don’t get to spend very much time with them. Sometimes, being in a back-burner relationship can feel even lonelier than just being single.

They’re Secretive About Phone Activity

One of the first things you may notice when you’re being cushioned or back-burnered is that your partner is suddenly glued to their phone. They don’t go anywhere without it, and they always seem to be texting, chatting, or scrolling social media. This may even start to interfere in your relationship, since you can’t seem to get their attention.

Worst of all, your partner may start refusing to let you see anything on their phone. Of course, everyone has a right to their privacy, but your partner shouldn’t be making active efforts to hide their phone activity from you. If they won’t let you see what they’re texting or looking at, it could mean they’re chatting up someone else.

They’re Hot and Cold

One of the biggest red flags in a relationship is your partner switching between being affectionate and being aloof. Everyone has bad days, and your partner may have times when they feel a little more distant or hard to read. But swinging wildly between hot and cold can show you that your partner isn’t sure if they want to be in your relationship.

Does your partner refuse to talk to you for days on end and then call you and act like nothing is wrong? Do they act like they want you one night and then barely look your way for the next week? These sorts of extreme fluctuations could be a sign that they’re pursuing other options on the side and only doing what they have to in order to keep you going.

They Won’t Make Solid Plans

The surest way to tell what someone’s priorities are is to look at where they spend your time. In a healthy relationship, you and your partner should be spending time together on a regular basis. Even if you don’t see each other every day, you should be able to count on them to show up for plans because they value that time with you.

When your partner is cushioning you or putting you on the back burner, they may start refusing to make solid plans. The truth is that by the time those plans come around, they don’t know if they’ll have a better offer from someone else. If your partner acts like spending time with you is an option that they can’t commit to, it may be a sign that something is wrong.

They Stand You Up

Even worse than refusing to make solid plans is a partner who straight-up stands you up. You may have plans for them to call, for you to have a date night, or for you to meet up. But at the last minute, they have to work, a family member needs something, a friend called, or they’re just too tired.

As with many of these warning signs, these things can happen every now and again in a relationship. It’s when a pattern starts developing that you should be worried. Getting stood up for a phone call once is one thing; missing three plans with you in a month or standing you up for an important event shows that they have somewhere else they’d rather be.

They’re Not Responsive

When you first got into this relationship, you and your partner probably talked for hours on end and texted every day. They answered your questions, reacted to your stories, and showed you that they cared. But now, you may have the sense that your partner isn’t listening or that they’ve just plain checked out.

Most of the time, your partner should engage with you, respond to your texts and calls, and make you feel heard. It takes less than thirty seconds to send a text message, and no one is so busy that they can’t manage an, “I’m busy, but I’ll call you later,” message. If your partner isn’t responding to you, it may show you that they’re busy talking to someone else.

Your Sex Life Slows Down

Of course, one of the biggest signs of trouble in a relationship is a significant change in your sex life. It’s normal for your sex life to slow down a little as you move out of the honeymoon phase of your relationship. In fact, some studies show that most Americans in happy relationships have sex about once a week.

But while a slight slowdown is normal, a full stop is something to be concerned about. If your partner used to be excited about getting down with you and now they seem indifferent, it’s a sure sign that there’s some sort of problem. They might be experiencing a physical problem that needs to be addressed, they might be working through a personal crisis, or they might be turning their attention elsewhere.

Get Out of Back-Burner Relationships

Back-burner relationships can be lonely, miserable, and deeply painful. You deserve to be with a partner who is excited about being with you, who is committed to continuing to grow your relationship, and who makes you a priority in their life. If they start checking out and you have a bad feeling, trust that intuition and consider moving on to a better relationship.

If you’d like to learn more about cushioning and back-burner relationships, check out the rest of my site at PaulWagner.com. I am here to help you awaken and bravely create an inspired life. Learn more about my services today and start changing your life in the most positive way.


You are a beautiful Living Being filled with light and love, born from stardust. You are unlimited potential in every direction. With a focus on discipline, virtue, and your own goodness, you can become as expanded and liberated as you desire.

Use EFT Tapping to Free Yourself of Trauma and Fear

Teenage girl practicing EFT or emotional freedom technique – tapping on the karate chop point

Use EFT Tapping to Free Yourself of Trauma and Fear

Mystics, scientists, and truth seekers have known for centuries that a deep and mysterious connection exists between our minds and our bodies. Some sages have described this connection as energy flowing through our bodies, connecting our minds to our physical shells and to the wider universe around us. So what happens when the stress and trauma of life interfere with that energy flow?

Disruptions in your body’s energy can have a serious impact on your life, and EFT tapping can be a great way to restore that flow. Read on to learn more about tapping and how you can use it to manage anxiety, stress, depression, and more.

What Is EFT Tapping?

Emotional freedom technique, also known as EFT tapping, is an alternative therapy technique that may be useful for anxiety, PTSD, and other fear-related disorders. This technique was developed in 1995 by Gary Craig, who believed the body has different meridians, or points where energy is more highly focused. He believed that by tapping on these meridians, a person could change their body’s energy.

EFT tapping works on the same theory as acupuncture and acupressure. Instead of pressing on or sticking a pin in this location, however, the practitioner or patient simply taps on that meridian point. During this process, the patient focuses on the thing in their life that they want to change.

Who Can It Help?

In general, EFT tapping is recommended for patients who are dealing with mental disorders. In particular, this treatment is a popular option for people living with chronic anxiety or depression. EFT practitioners say the technique is also useful for people with chronic pain, stress disorders, PTSD, and other fear-related disorders.

It’s important to note that, ideally, EFT tapping should be one part of your overall mental healthcare plan. In particular, if you have thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else, reach out to a professional immediately. EFT tapping will be most effective when used in combination with therapy and/or medication to keep your brain chemistry in balance.

How Does It Work?

EFT tapping focuses on the body’s energy meridians, points around your body where your energy converges. Tapping practitioners believe that you can develop blockages in these meridians that interfere with your body’s natural energy flow and cause the problems you’re experiencing. You can see a practitioner for a tapping session, or you can do tapping yourself at home.

Although the tapping is, naturally, a critical part of tapping therapy, much of the technique also revolves around mindfulness. As you’re performing the tapping, it’s important to focus on the issue in your life that you need resolved. This can help to focus the energy change and clear any blockages you may be experiencing.

Identify an Issue to Focus On

When you get ready to begin a tapping session, it’s important to pick one particular issue to focus on. It’s best to get fairly specific with this issue so that you can tackle larger problems in manageable sections. Trying to tackle too much at once could interfere with your focus and make the therapy less effective.

Spend some time meditating before your tapping session, bringing your focus into the body and letting go of all distractions. Begin to direct your attention to the problems you’re facing, and narrow that focus down to one particular issue that’s interfering with your daily life and happiness. Begin to anchor your attention into this issue, drawing it in as the focus of your session.

Rate the Intensity

Once you have your focus set, it’s a good idea to rate the current intensity of the problem in your life. In other words, how serious is the problem, and how much distress and disruption is it causing you at the present moment. This will help you to track if the tapping therapy is working for you or if you need to try different techniques.

As you focus on your specific issue, think about how much this issue impacts you, your daily life, and your happiness. Rate it on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being only mild inconvenience and 10 being debilitating. You can also assign this ranking based on how much the problem has impacted you at other times in your life.

Choose a Mantra

Now that you understand the scope of your problem a little better, it’s time to choose your mantra for the tapping session. This will be a specific reminder phrase you’ll use to reset your focus throughout the session. These words can help to direct the energy change that happens during the session.

Your mantra should be one of acknowledgment and acceptance, recognizing that the problem is present in your life and offering compassion and acceptance to yourself. There should be no judgment – only recognition that this is a problem in your life and that you are still worthy and a divine being of light.

Follow the Tapping Sequence

With your mantra and focus centered in your mind, you’ll be ready to begin the tapping sequence. You’ll need to follow a specific order as you move across the tapping points. During your first few sessions, you may want to consult an EFT tapping chart to make sure you’re hitting the right meridian points.

Tap each point in the sequence about five times with your fingertips. You can tap the points that have twin positions at the same time, or you can just tap one side.

Begin with the tapping point directly in the center of the top of your head, and then move to the beginning of your brows closest to your nose. Move to the bones on the outside corner of your eyes, then to the bone about one inch below your pupils.

Next comes the point between your nose and your upper lip, followed by the point between your lower lip and your chin. Finish with the points just below the inside ends of your collarbones and then those on the sides of the body about four inches below your armpits.

Rate the Intensity Again

Once you’ve finished the tapping sequence, take a few deep breaths, and then rate the intensity of your issue again. In an ideal treatment, you’ll notice that the intensity has gone down from where it was when you began tapping. However, you may notice that it takes a few rounds to see noticeable improvement.

Continue this tapping sequence, repeating your mantra with each point you tap. You may find that after a while, the changes to the intensity of your problem plateau. Once this happens or the intensity reaches zero, you can stop the session and return to it as needed.

Learn More About EFT Tapping

EFT tapping can be a great way to manage stress, reduce anxiety, and ease symptoms of depression. Begin by identifying the issue you want to work on and setting a mantra of acknowledgment and acceptance. Follow the tapping sequence, repeating it until the intensity of your problem has lessened.

If you’d like to learn more about EFT tapping, check out the rest of my site at PaulWagner.com. I am here to help you awaken and bravely create an inspired life. Learn more about my services today and start changing your life in the most positive way.


You are a beautiful Living Being filled with light and love, born from stardust. You are unlimited potential in every direction. With a focus on discipline, virtue, and your own goodness, you can become as expanded and liberated as you desire.

Heal Yourself with Bach Flower Remedies

Bottle of essential oil with herbs holy basil flower, basil flower,rosemary,oregano, sage,parsley ,thyme and mint set up on old wooden background .

Heal Yourself with Bach Flower Remedies

Do you ever wish there was a magic tonic you could drink that would rid you of negative emotions? Something you could take when you’re overwhelmed, afraid, or just downright angry? What if we told you the answer may be hiding in the many beautiful flowers native to our world?

Bach Flower Remedies can be a fantastic natural way to deal with negative emotions. Read on to learn more about these remedies and how they can be used to fight negative emotions.

What Are Bach Flower Remedies?

Bach Flower Remedies mix low concentrations of flower essence with water and brandy to create a natural treatment. It’s important to note that these remedies are 27 percent alcohol, so don’t use them if you’re pregnant, you’ve dealt with addiction issues in the past, or you can’t consume alcohol for another reason. Always talk to your doctor before starting a new supplement or treatment to make sure it’s safe for your unique body.

Remedies for Anger

Cherry Plum

The focus of cherry plum Bach Flower Remedies is “Be in control.” This remedy focuses on giving you clarity in chaotic moments and helping you to keep anger and rage in check. It gives you the extra support you need to stay cool and in control during those stressful moments.


Holly Bach Flower Remedies focus on “Goodwill towards others.” Oftentimes, you may feel jealous or suspicious of the people around you, and you may find yourself making judgments about them. This remedy helps to encourage the positive potential you need to be open-hearted and undemanding.


Bach Flower Remedies chicory is meant to help you to love unconditionally. You may find that your anger stems from a place of overprotection or a need to control the situation. Chicory may help you to take a needed step back and care for the people in your life without expecting anything in return.


The focus for beech Back Flower Remedies is “Be more tolerant.” For many people, anger is a result of previous conceptions, rigid attitudes, and an intolerance for imperfection. Beech remedies can help you to become more tolerant, releasing those limits and your anger along with them.


Vine Bach Flower Remedies may help you to motivate, rather than dominate, in leadership situations. When we’re in positions of power, we may feel that we need to hold that ground and remain firmly in charge. Vine remedies help you to express a more positive side of leadership, being flexible and sharing your opinions without intimidation.

Remedies for Anxiety


The aspen Bach Flower Remedies motto is “Feel secure,” making it a perfect foil for anxiety. Our fear may spring from a lack of inner peace and security that makes us feel on edge. Aspen may help to improve your confidence, making it easier for you to tackle uncertain situations.


The elm Bach Flower Remedy focus, “Be efficient,” is perfect for anyone struggling with productivity due to anxiety. When our anxiety ramps up, we may often find that we have trouble checking things off our to-do list. Elm can help you to keep perspective, stay calm, and avoid the vicious cycle of being overwhelmed.


Mimulus is one of the classic Bach Flower Remedies for anxiety with its motto “Face your fears.” We all live with fear, worry, and anxiety each day, but we don’t have to let it overcome us. Mimulus can give you the positive energy to stand up to what scares you and enjoy your life without fear.

Red Chestnut

Red chestnut Bach Flower Remedies focus on “Peace of mind.” Sometimes, our fear can spring from a place of love and caring, as we worry about the people we are close to. Red chestnut helps you to foster compassion for the special people in your life without all the anxiety that can impact those relationships.

Rock Rose

The focus phrase for rock rose Bach Flower Remedies is “Have courage,” a mantra many of us may need badly during the hard times of our lives. When we find ourselves in times of trouble, we may get overwhelmed by a sense of panic. Rock rose replaces that overwhelm with a deep sense of calm and courage to face the present situation.

Remedies for Sadness


Gentian Bach Flower Remedies is designed for the moments of doubt and despair in your life, when you need to “accept setbacks.” As we go through hard times in life, we may be overcome by negative energy and deep feelings of sadness. Gentian can help you regain your positive potential and face your challenges with conviction.


When those times of sadness arrive, gorse Bach Flower Remedies can help us to “have hope.” You may find yourself looking for any sign of light and hope during the hard times. Gorse can renew your positive potential and optimistic outlook to help you find the light in dark moments.

Wild Rose

Wild rose Bach Flower Remedies are meant to help you “show enthusiasm.” Sometimes, your sadness may not be due to a specific problem, but rather a more general feeling of apathy. Wild rose can help to reignite your passion for life and help you make the changes you need in your life.


Getting through hard times can feel like slogging uphill with a bowling ball tied to your foot. Oak Bach Flower Remedies are meant to help you “restore endurance” and push through the bad days. It helps you to recharge and persevere without pushing past the limits of your mental and emotional health.


If your sadness is coming from something in your past, you may need honeysuckle Bach Flower Remedies to help you “embrace the now.” Releasing negativity in our pasts is key to finding future peace and clarity. Honeysuckle can make it easier for you to move forward in life with confidence and no regrets.

Remedies for Frustration


Impatiens, with its “Have patience” focus is the perfect Bach Flower Remedy for frustration. When we become impatient, we may start to be frustrated with the people and situations around us that are moving more slowly than we are. Impatiens helps us to slow down, realize our positive potential, and find ease in life.


Willow is a Bach Flower Remedy that focuses on “Forgive and forget.” You may become frustrated by past wrongs or things in your life that seem unfair. Willow helps you to release that resentment, fight negativity, and find a sense of humor when things don’t go as you think they should.

Sweet Chestnut

Sweet chestnut is the Bach Flower Remedy to reach for when you need to “be optimistic.” Often in the midst of frustration, we feel as though things will never get better again. Sweet chestnut helps us to regain a clear mind and face those negative feelings with peace and optimism.


Sometimes, our frustration may be with ourselves, rather than with those around us. During these times, it’s best to use pine Bach Flower Remedy, which helps us to “have self-respect.” This remedy shows us how to have compassion for ourselves and not beat ourselves up for mistakes.

Chestnut Bud

Another facet of that internal frustration may be that we sometimes make the same mistakes over and over again. Chestnut bud Bach Flower Remedies help us to “learn from mistakes.” It can help us to find the wisdom inherent in previous mistakes and move forward with optimism and self-compassion.

Learn More About Bach Flower Remedies

Bach Flower Remedies can be a great way to deal with the many negative emotions and experiences life throws our way. These natural remedies can manage some of the causes behind anxiety, sadness, anger, frustration, and other such emotions. And, as always be sure to talk to your doctor before starting any sort of new supplement or treatment to make sure it’s safe for you.

If you’d like to learn more about Bach Flower Remedies, check out the rest of my site at PaulWagner.com. I am here to help you awaken and bravely create an inspired life. Learn more about my services today and start changing your life in the most positive way.


You are a beautiful Living Being filled with light and love, born from stardust. You are unlimited potential in every direction. With a focus on discipline, virtue, and your own goodness, you can become as expanded and liberated as you desire.

The Teachings of Gabor Mate

We all go through trauma in our lives. Whether that is addiction, disease, childhood trauma, alienation or even stresses in the household, the wounds that we carry with us can resonate with us for our entire lives, if we let it. This trauma can be passed along to our children and manifest in our bodies as physical illness, leading to chronic pain and other degenerative diseases that were entirely preventable if we showed ourselves kindness. The good thing is, is that you can overcome this trauma and heal, and that is the core of the fundamental teachings of the award-winning author, Dr Gabor Maté.

Early Life in Hungary And Immigration To Canada

To understand how Gabor Maté became a world-renowned physician, psychologist and author, we must look at what influenced him to do so. Originally from Hungary, his family fled the war-torn nation, as his family experienced devasting trauma from World War II. During the war, his maternal grandparents were killed in Auschwitz and his own father had to endure forced labor by the National Socialist German Workers Party.  They immigrated to Canada in 1956 when Dr Maté was just twelve years old.

The Influence of Vancouver

When Dr Gabor Maté established his own family practice after graduating medical school, he found himself setting up a family practice in one of the poorest neighbourhoods in Canada: the Downtown Eastside (DTES) of Vancouver.  The social-economic climate of this area greatly influenced and impacted much of Dr. Gabor Maté’s work, where high levels of drug use, homelessness, poverty, crime, mental illness, and sex work, were common amongst its residents. There, Dr Gabor Maté ran a medical practice for over 20 years, where he consistently worked with patients suffering from mental health issues and substance abuse concerns, eventually leading him to write about his experiences with trauma and the connection between the mind, body and soul.

The Gabor Maté Approach

The road to healing trauma is long and can seem like it’s an up-hill battle, but it is entirely possible.  By combining scientific research, case studies, and personal experience, Dr. Gabor Maté believes that we have the innate power to heal ourselves from trauma, if we know where to look and what to listen to. Once we have healed ourselves, we become whole, and can then work to help to heal others. That is the true cycle of healing.

Uncovering Trauma

Dr. Gabor Maté’s approach to addiction focuses on the trauma his patients have suffered and uses it as a part of their recovery process.  In simplest terms, trauma is a lasting, emotional response that is sustained from a distressing event and carried throughout one’s life.  Trauma does not refer to what has happened to you, but rather what happens inside your mind as a result. How you internalize those events and the way that they manifest physically, will depend on if you work through your trauma, or let it rule you.

To begin the process of healing, you must understand where the trauma begins.  Of course, some of these trauma memories may not be easily accessible to individuals and are repressed for survival reasons. We don’t want to engage with feelings or thoughts that make us uncomfortable.  However, Dr. Maté disagrees with this idea stating that all you need to do is ask the right questions to get to the root cause of your trauma.

Substance Abuse and It’s Connection To Trauma

Dr. Maté believes that addiction is any behaviour or substance that a person relies on to relieve short-term pain, which will unfortunately lead to negative long-term consequences.  Like trauma, this pain needs to be addressed, otherwise the individual will crave further release and be susceptible to relapse.

Gabor’s approach to addiction, called the “Compassionate Inquiry” involves both the individual and therapist to peel back the individual’s consciousness, mental climate, hidden assumptions, and implicit memories to reveal the unconscious dynamics that run their lives.  The purpose of this is to get to the core of the individual to see what they are telling themselves unconsciously and how this unconscious self-talk is dictating the way they live their lives.  This approach is studied by many therapists, physicians, and counselors internationally.

The Written Works of Dr. Maté

Dr. Maté dedicates his time educating people on topics relating to mental health and psychology through his writings.  In addition to being a regular columnist for Vancouver Sun and The Globe and Mail, and his works highlight the role of psychological trauma and stress in addiction, and the importance of relationships and social attachment for learning and health.

  • Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder – This book provides a new perspective on ADD based on Dr. Maté’s personal experience with the disorder.
  • When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress – This book discusses the effect that stress has on the mind and the body, and how one’s emotional makeup can impact and individual’s susceptibility to diseases.
  • Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers (Co-authored with Dr. Gordon Neufeld) – This book examines the breakdown of parental influence in recent years as children look to their peers for direction.
  • In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction – This book details Dr. Maté’s experiences working in DTES and his observations on addiction while working with Canada’s most vulnerable.
  • The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture – This book dissects the irony in Western healthcare systems that pride themselves in its effectiveness is seeing an alarming increase in chronic illness, prescription drug use, high blood pressure, and mental illness.
  • Hello Again: A Fresh Start for Parents and Their Adult Children (to be released in 2023 with Daniel Maté) – This book, co-written with his son, is written to guide parents and adult children to navigate their respective paths into adulthood.

Philanthropic Work

Dr. Maté is a passionate activist, using his influence and credentials to bring awareness and end the stigmatization of mental health, psychology, and drug use. In 2008, he defended physicians working at Insite, a legal and supervised safe injection site after being attacked as unethical by the Canadian Minister of Heath at the time.  By standing up for the physicians working at the site, Dr. Maté prevented the further stigmatization of drug use in Canada. In 2010, Maté became interested in plant medicine for the potential of treating addictions.  Using this knowledge, he partnered with a traditional Peruvian shamanic healer to organize multi-day retreats for addiction treatments.

Learning From Dr. Maté

As individuals, we have our own personal issues and problems that plague us.  But with the power of healing and strength in numbers, there is a possibility to overcome our hardships if we learn to ask the right questions and welcome the healing process.  That is the hope that keeps us moving forward.

In the words of Dr. Maté, “Hope is about wishing for something to happen in the future. It is absconding from the present. Noam Chomsky was asked once if he was an optimist or a pessimist and he said, ‘Strategically, I’m an optimist, and tactically, I’m a pessimist.’ Like him, in the long term, I see the possibilities of human beings. In the short term, I see all kinds of problems. I see the possibility of healing and transformation both on the social and the personal level, but I see that possibility in the present.”

Be kind to yourself and others, and seek out help when you need it. Don’t feel shame or embarrassment, be compassionate to yourself on your journey and live with integrity. Everyone has their own trauma and issues, and it’s a good thing that there are people like Dr Mate who work hard and share their knowledge with us all, to help us become better people and to find joy and peace in our lives.

Meet Paul Wagner

Paul Wagner is an Intuitive Life & Business Coach, clairvoyant reader, and a five-time EMMY Award-winning writer. He created “THE PERSONALITY CARDS,” a powerful Oracle-Tarot deck that’s helpful in life, love, and relationships. Paul studied with Lakota elders in the Pecos Wilderness, who nurtured his empathic abilities and taught him the sacred rituals. He has lived at ashrams with enlightened masters, including Amma, the Hugging Saint, for whom he’s delivered keynotes at Her worldwide events.

Paul tours the world lecturing on spiritual liberation. He lovingly offers intuitive readings, inspirational coaching, and illuminating courses to help others with self-discovery, decision-making, healing, and forgiveness. Book a session with Paul: HERE

The Personality Cards: Most Specific Eye-Opening Oracle to Date

Have you ever seen personality cards? Do you know how to use these cards? Personality cards are more specific oracles to our daily lives; they are helpful in forgiveness and our self-discovery journey, shedding a lot of light on improving our lives. The personality cards are a combination of psychological types: the Carl Jung personality archetypes, which form the basis of how to be human and how we experience things, and the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator test, a scientific test that helps you figure out your personality. The energy carried in a particular tarot archetype is that which is dominant in your deeper self. This makes the Personality Cards the most specific, eye-opening oracle to date.

Have you taken the MBTI test? The Myer Briggs Type Indicator Test(MBTI) is a free test that you can take online and tells you where you fit in the 16 personality profiles. These profiles are based on the Jungian theory. Four attributes make up the 16 types, and just like the archetypes, these attributes describe how one experiences the world. The four attributes are represented by letters;

      • Introversion (I) or Extroversion (E)
      • Intuition (N) or Sensing (S)
      • Feeling (F) or Thinking (T)
      • Perceiving (P) or Judging (J)

There are eight descriptions in these four attributes; the MBTI test tells you that you fit four of them out of the eight, and this forms a four-letter code like ISFJ. These personality types on the test have a correlation to 16 archetypes on the Minor Arcana or Lesser Arcana of the tarot deck, also called court cards; there is a King, Knight, Page, and Queen for each of the four suits; Wands, Swords, Coins, and Cups.

Other ways to calculate your soul and personality card

Apart from the MBTI test, some have come up with other ways of calculating the soul and personality card by using your birth dates. Your personality card will describe some of the traits you portray and help you see yourself from a different POV.

How do you use your birth dates to find your personality card?

It is simple! To use this oracle, you add the year, month, and day you were born in no specific order. After finding the total, add the digits of the total; if the sum of these digits is between 10 and 22, that number is your personality number. If the sum is more than 22, add the resulting number, and the answer you get will be your personality card. Your soul card is the resulting number from adding the digits of your personality card. Describing this in words makes it seem very complicated, maybe using an example would not make you scared of the math.

     For someone born on 23rd August 1998,


2+0+2+9=13 is your personality card

1+3=4 is the soul card.

Here are the soul and personality cards that these numbers represent;

0 or 22 represented The Fool,

1-the Magician

2-the High Priestess

3-the Empress

4-the Emperor

5-the Hierophant

6-the Lovers

7-the Chariot


9-the Hermit

10-Wheel of Fortune


12-the Hanged Man


14-the Temperance

15-the Devil

16-the Tower

17-the Star

18-the Moon

19-the Sun

20-the Judgement

21-the Universe

Which personality card are you? Find out today using your birth date; you can also calculate for your loved one! Be careful… this oracle is super powerful.

Oracle Profiles of the 16 personality archetypes that correlate with the MBTI test

  • Page of Wands has a personality type ESTP; Extroversion Sensing Thinking Perceiving. This Page of Wands personality type is always ready for new adventures and challenges; they are very energetic, creative, enthusiastic, and brave and are not afraid to ditch an adventure midway when a new one emerges. They enjoy spontaneity and are flexible; they are always ready to explore new places, meet new people, and socialize with them. The Page of Wands’ personality is always the life of the party; he appreciates creative arts, dance, music, and art. To them, having fun is not always about having a lot of money; they make it possible to have fun with whatever resources they have. They are very talkative and outgoing. They need to feel important, and this makes them good group leaders. They enjoy shopping and understand the value of money; however, they are not materialistic. They desire to succeed and are eager to learn to attain excellence. Do you know someone who has these traits?
  • Knight of Wands’ personality type is ENFP, the Magician. The Magician has a natural talent for leadership; if you have this personality, you are a born leader or manager. Your natural-born leadership helps you get things moving in the right direction; you have the enthusiasm to get things done in a short time and accomplish essential things in your organization. When in a leadership position, you relate better with others. You enjoy being a leader because you want to be a crucial part of the team and community; you enjoy moving the crowd with bold antics and big gestures and receiving attention.
  • Additionally, you like to show off a bit. You always see the best in people and quickly spot mistakes and flaws. The Knight of Wands is exciting and charismatic despite not being consistent and reliable all the time.
  • Queen of Wands has the personality type ESFP. The picture on this oracle card is a woman with a tall crown, holding a small crown and veil in one hand and, in the other, a wand. On the throne where she is seated, two lions are standing behind her. This personality loves attention and is very chatty, outgoing, and enthusiastic. They are friendly, very pleasant, warm, love being the life of the party, and like to have fun; however, they can also be serious and very determined. They have a creative side, get inspired by imagination, and are entrepreneurial. This personality type is committed to their career and family, very confident, and independent.
  • The King of Wands strongly connects to intuition because it appears in the High Priestess position in the Tarot. The personality type is ENTJ, and some qualities it possesses include creativity and intelligence. The King of Wands is an influential and confident leader. He is also an adventurer who never tires of looking for new ways of thinking and experiences. He wants to use discovery to improve the world and always wants the best for those around him. He is a jack of all trades, an expert in scientific, artistic, and practical things. He loves great things and splurges only when he wants to feel good about himself. He is a charismatic and inspirational leader who motivates others to be proud of their accomplishments the same way he is, showing them they can be good at something. He is a natural leader; confident, open-minded, assertive, influential, and decisive.
  • Page of Cups is the Peacemaker, and INFP is the personality type for this oracle card. If you are this personality type, you are a classic artist archetype, an artist, and a sensitive person who spontaneously expresses themselves. You are reciprocating the emotional investment you demand from others. You are an empath and have wisdom about life’s ups and downs. A Peacemaker is very compassionate, calm, and caring. They network efficiently and form connections quickly with others. Their forte is seeing the big picture and thinking outside the box. They seek to maintain peace and have care and compassion for others. Being introverts, they enjoy alone time and can provide support to others because they are in tune with their emotions. They understand others and different situations. They are promising innovators as well.
  • Knight of Cups lives in the moment and has the personality type ENFP. This personality type is very passionate, genius, and idealistic. They love making friends and having many friends at once, being in a team; their thirst for connections is unquenchable. They always want to share with others the things they see that we cannot. For a Knight of Cups, life is all about making connections with others, and therefore, for them, they hold their relationships in high regard. They are very charismatic, and their desire to find pleasure in life may sometimes be dangerous. They are intense, impulsive, indulgent, spontaneous, and fickle.
  • Queen of Cups has the most complex and rare personality type, INFJ. It is very authentic and a unique combination of cognitive functions. These functions make them very accurate in their predictions and perceptions. A Queen of Cups can gather information from all sources and process it in a way that represents the truth. She understands things that the rest cannot. She is sensitive, and caring, loves to learn about people, is a good mentor and teacher, loves to help people find their paths in life, and understand their nature. They also offer wise counsel. However, it is easy for them to be manipulative, especially if others do not appreciate their work.
  • King of Cups is also called the idealist. Their personality type is ENFJ. They are very persuasive, compassionate, and easy to get along with. They have a lot of concern and empathy for the well-being of others. They are supportive of their team members and are often natural diplomats. Their authenticity and sincerity make them gain others’ trust. However, they are persistent and stubborn, which can annoy others. a King of Cups is very creative in writing, art, and music. They do not mind leadership positions and, at times, get bothered when they don’t get their way. They are mature, sensitive, and make excellent communicators.
  • Page of Swords has the ISTP personality type: inquisitive, analytical, and quick-witted. They grasp information rapidly and, therefore, can do well in fast-paced areas. They are also very good at improvising and are very creative. They have few but extreme emotions. The downside to this personality is that it is easy for an ISTP personality type to let emotions let the better part, and they can upset their friends when they lose their cool. This personality type knows what they want and how to get that; they are also self-sufficient. They find interest m the physical world and love learning new things but are also very stubborn. They are philosophers and deep thinkers who always look for patterns, new information, and other patterns.
  • Knight of Swords’ personality type is ENTP. They have the following traits; inventors, love to travel, problem solvers, and rationalists. They love to think and are open to new ways of thinking. Their minds wander a lot. They are good at languages; they desire to expand their horizons and are very knowledgeable in handling technology, especially computers. They are confided in their abilities, and this comes off as arrogance. They are independent and, at times, maybe impatient; they are at times outspoken and blunt and prioritize logic and rationality over feelings and emotions.
  • Queen of Swords is a perfectionist, brilliant, independent, self-confident, and loves to get things done. The personality type for Queen of Swords is INTJ. This personality type is not afraid to take charge and make decisions; they are natural leaders. They love coming up with new strategies and ideas and solving problems. Queen of Swords is very empathetic and intuitive; they can read people and know how they feel and think. They know engineering, science, mathematics, and technology. INTJs are good at what they do. They are always focused on achieving their goals and can go over the line and be ruthless in achieving them. A Queen of Swords is very persuasive and can convince others that her way is the best; she looks at the bigger picture and has a big heart. She is resilient, tough, strong, sharp-tongued if provoked, direct, shrewd, and determined to solve problems no matter the fallout.
  • King of Swords is an oracle card representing an extroverted thinker with a personality type ENTJ. They are good leaders and excellent planners. They are visionary and always want to lead by example; they use their imaginations when planning. They do not like restraints that prevent them from dreaming big. ENTJs are practical, responsible, and disciplined; they enjoy getting things done. They are confident, focused, intelligent, in control, and direct. They like to create strategies, research, study, and dig into details; all these are characteristics of a truth seeker.
  • Page of Pentacles’ personality type is Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging. This personality type is reserved and, as a result, pays more attention to details and facts. The Page of Pentacles shows very little interest in imagination and creativity. Therefore, it is possible that they hardly use words to express themselves and thus find it hard to express their emotions. Interpersonal relations for this personality type are also complicated; they have difficulty relating with people. They are efficient, loyal, and respected because they get things done well, are committed to a career, studies and money, they are a natural student who focuses on taking action rather than making plans and strategies.
  • Knight of Pentacles has the personality type ISTP (Introversion Sensing Thinking Perceiving). According to Carl Jung’s model of determining personality type, this is one of the operational cognitive functions. Knight of Pentacles personality type is also known as the Artist or Artisan. They are builders or fixers; they are builders because they emphasize practical objects and physical constructions. They are also fixers because of their ability to put things in order quickly and tend to be systematic, practical, and logical. He is concerned with social status and material wealth and proud that he can create a good living for himself. He is unhappy when he has not created more wealth and a name for himself. His traits include his concern for doing the right thing always, determined, cautious, practical, guarded, and stubbornness, and he is always the hardest worker.
  • The personality type for Queen of Pentacles is ISFJ and is characterized by the following traits; being devoted to the family as a good wife and mother who will take care of her children and husband. She is very warm, caring, and willing to sacrifice much for the people they love. The Queen of Pentacles is not flashy and does not extravagantly display her wealth; she is very practical, saving for the future, providing for her family, and spending her money wisely. This personality type is rare and very valuable; people often have a sense of duty and obligation with this personality type.

A Queen of Pentacles is a good organizer, supportive, loves to look after others, is loyal, emotionally stable, and gives their time, resources, and energy to doing good for others without a reward. ISFJ people excel in academics and careers to prove they are worth something. They take pride in being able to fend for their families, and because this personality type is rare, dishonest people often manipulate them.

  • King of Pentacles is ESTJ and is associated with the fifth planet, Jupiter, the Element of water and earth. The King of Pentacles is an oracle card representing a natural entrepreneur who keeps their expenditure on track, understands money’s value, and is a leader. The learning styles associated with the King of Pentacles are analytical, practical, and logical. If you have this personality, you are an exceptional organizer and planner. You are loyal, have a strong sense of duty, and are disciplined with quiet self-control and confidence. You are very ambitious and interested in self-improvement, you are responsible with a solid work ethic, and you work hard to be successful. You are strong, very resourceful, and pragmatic. The King of Pentacles may want to be a real estate buyer, architect, builder, or contractor.

These personality archetypes and oracle cards give a more detailed insight into various personality cards. The various profiles discussed above make it easy to find where you lie. Are you an ISFJ or an INTP? Is your soul card 12 or 0? These oracle cards have made it easier for us to discover who we are; we do not have to go through life wondering who we are and being scared of how to embrace who we are becoming. Using oracles is extremely helpful as you dive deeper into your self-discovery journey.

Therefore, do not be afraid to embark on a journey of self-discovery because you are not starting from a place of ignorance; personality cards are the oracle guides that will give you insight and help you all the way.

Meet Paul Wagner

Paul Wagner is an Intuitive Life & Business Coach, clairvoyant reader, and a five-time EMMY Award-winning writer. He created “THE PERSONALITY CARDS,” a powerful Oracle-Tarot deck that’s helpful in life, love, and relationships. Paul studied with Lakota elders in the Pecos Wilderness, who nurtured his empathic abilities and taught him the sacred rituals. He has lived at ashrams with enlightened masters, including Amma, the Hugging Saint, for whom he’s delivered keynotes at Her worldwide events.

Paul tours the world lecturing on spiritual liberation. He lovingly offers intuitive readings, inspirational coaching, and illuminating courses to help others with self-discovery, decision-making, healing, and forgiveness. Book a session with Paul: HERE