What is Cushioning and Back-Burnering?

Am I Being Cushioned or Back-Burnered In My Relationship?

The first days of a relationship can be intoxicating – you’re falling in love, getting to know your new partner, and floating on the proverbial cloud. Everything is amazing, and then little by little, you may start to notice that the relationship you were so happy in has changed. Your partner is distant and secretive, and you feel like you can’t connect with them.

If this sounds familiar, you may be in a back-burner relationship. Read on to learn about cushioning and back-burnering and discover the warning signs that this is happening in your relationship.

What Is Cushioning?

So before we dive into how to tell if you’re being cushioned, let’s talk about what that term even means. Cushioning in dating is when your partner has someone set up as a back-up plan in case your relationship fails. Essentially, they’re fostering a semi-romantic relationship with another person that they can transition into a full-out dating relationship if things go south with you.schedule-intuitive-reading-with-paul-now

Cushioning happens when a relationship is on the rocks and someone is afraid of being alone. It can happen when your partner craves more attention than one person can reasonably give them. And in any case, it shows that your partner isn’t committed to you or your relationship and is making backup plans for when things fall apart.

What Is Back-Burnering?

While back-burnering can look similar on the surface, it differs from cushioning in a few different ways. When you’re on the back burner with someone, you aren’t their main priority in the relationship. They may or may not be pursuing a relationship with someone else, but they’re not giving you their all, either.

When you’re being back-burnered, you may find that your partner doesn’t seem to have time for you or interest in being with you. You may feel like a second choice, and you might find that you don’t get to spend very much time with them. Sometimes, being in a back-burner relationship can feel even lonelier than just being single.

They’re Secretive About Phone Activity

One of the first things you may notice when you’re being cushioned or back-burnered is that your partner is suddenly glued to their phone. They don’t go anywhere without it, and they always seem to be texting, chatting, or scrolling social media. This may even start to interfere in your relationship, since you can’t seem to get their attention.

Worst of all, your partner may start refusing to let you see anything on their phone. Of course, everyone has a right to their privacy, but your partner shouldn’t be making active efforts to hide their phone activity from you. If they won’t let you see what they’re texting or looking at, it could mean they’re chatting up someone else.

They’re Hot and Cold

One of the biggest red flags in a relationship is your partner switching between being affectionate and being aloof. Everyone has bad days, and your partner may have times when they feel a little more distant or hard to read. But swinging wildly between hot and cold can show you that your partner isn’t sure if they want to be in your relationship.schedule-intuitive-reading-with-paul-now

Does your partner refuse to talk to you for days on end and then call you and act like nothing is wrong? Do they act like they want you one night and then barely look your way for the next week? These sorts of extreme fluctuations could be a sign that they’re pursuing other options on the side and only doing what they have to in order to keep you going.

They Won’t Make Solid Plans

The surest way to tell what someone’s priorities are is to look at where they spend your time. In a healthy relationship, you and your partner should be spending time together on a regular basis. Even if you don’t see each other every day, you should be able to count on them to show up for plans because they value that time with you.

When your partner is cushioning you or putting you on the back burner, they may start refusing to make solid plans. The truth is that by the time those plans come around, they don’t know if they’ll have a better offer from someone else. If your partner acts like spending time with you is an option that they can’t commit to, it may be a sign that something is wrong.

They Stand You Up

Even worse than refusing to make solid plans is a partner who straight-up stands you up. You may have plans for them to call, for you to have a date night, or for you to meet up. But at the last minute, they have to work, a family member needs something, a friend called, or they’re just too tired.

As with many of these warning signs, these things can happen every now and again in a relationship. It’s when a pattern starts developing that you should be worried. Getting stood up for a phone call once is one thing; missing three plans with you in a month or standing you up for an important event shows that they have somewhere else they’d rather be.

They’re Not Responsive

When you first got into this relationship, you and your partner probably talked for hours on end and texted every day. They answered your questions, reacted to your stories, and showed you that they cared. But now, you may have the sense that your partner isn’t listening or that they’ve just plain checked out. schedule-intuitive-reading-with-paul-now

Most of the time, your partner should engage with you, respond to your texts and calls, and make you feel heard. It takes less than thirty seconds to send a text message, and no one is so busy that they can’t manage an, “I’m busy, but I’ll call you later,” message. If your partner isn’t responding to you, it may show you that they’re busy talking to someone else.

Your Sex Life Slows Down

Of course, one of the biggest signs of trouble in a relationship is a significant change in your sex life. It’s normal for your sex life to slow down a little as you move out of the honeymoon phase of your relationship. In fact, some studies show that most Americans in happy relationships have sex about once a week.

But while a slight slowdown is normal, a full stop is something to be concerned about. If your partner used to be excited about getting down with you and now they seem indifferent, it’s a sure sign that there’s some sort of problem. They might be experiencing a physical problem that needs to be addressed, they might be working through a personal crisis, or they might be turning their attention elsewhere.

Get Out of Back-Burner Relationships

Back-burner relationships can be lonely, miserable, and deeply painful. You deserve to be with a partner who is excited about being with you, who is committed to continuing to grow your relationship, and who makes you a priority in their life. If they start checking out and you have a bad feeling, trust that intuition and consider moving on to a better relationship.

If you’d like to learn more about cushioning and back-burner relationships, check out the rest of my site at PaulWagner.com. I am here to help you awaken and bravely create an inspired life. Learn more about my services today and start changing your life in the most positive way.


You are a beautiful Living Being filled with light and love, born from stardust. You are unlimited potential in every direction. With a focus on discipline, virtue, and your own goodness, you can become as expanded and liberated as you desire.


Pray for others and the Universe prays for us.

Use EFT Tapping to Free Yourself of Trauma and Fear

Teenage girl practicing EFT or emotional freedom technique – tapping on the karate chop point

Use EFT Tapping to Free Yourself of Trauma and Fear

Mystics, scientists, and truth seekers have known for centuries that a deep and mysterious connection exists between our minds and our bodies. Some sages have described this connection as energy flowing through our bodies, connecting our minds to our physical shells and to the wider universe around us. So what happens when the stress and trauma of life interfere with that energy flow?

Disruptions in your body’s energy can have a serious impact on your life, and EFT tapping can be a great way to restore that flow. Read on to learn more about tapping and how you can use it to manage anxiety, stress, depression, and more.

What Is EFT Tapping?

Emotional freedom technique, also known as EFT tapping, is an alternative therapy technique that may be useful for anxiety, PTSD, and other fear-related disorders. This technique was developed in 1995 by Gary Craig, who believed the body has different meridians, or points where energy is more highly focused. He believed that by tapping on these meridians, a person could change their body’s energy. schedule-intuitive-reading-with-paul-now

EFT tapping works on the same theory as acupuncture and acupressure. Instead of pressing on or sticking a pin in this location, however, the practitioner or patient simply taps on that meridian point. During this process, the patient focuses on the thing in their life that they want to change.

Who Can It Help?

In general, EFT tapping is recommended for patients who are dealing with mental disorders. In particular, this treatment is a popular option for people living with chronic anxiety or depression. EFT practitioners say the technique is also useful for people with chronic pain, stress disorders, PTSD, and other fear-related disorders.

It’s important to note that, ideally, EFT tapping should be one part of your overall mental healthcare plan. In particular, if you have thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else, reach out to a professional immediately. EFT tapping will be most effective when used in combination with therapy and/or medication to keep your brain chemistry in balance.

How Does It Work?

EFT tapping focuses on the body’s energy meridians, points around your body where your energy converges. Tapping practitioners believe that you can develop blockages in these meridians that interfere with your body’s natural energy flow and cause the problems you’re experiencing. You can see a practitioner for a tapping session, or you can do tapping yourself at home.

Although the tapping is, naturally, a critical part of tapping therapy, much of the technique also revolves around mindfulness. As you’re performing the tapping, it’s important to focus on the issue in your life that you need resolved. This can help to focus the energy change and clear any blockages you may be experiencing.

Identify an Issue to Focus On

When you get ready to begin a tapping session, it’s important to pick one particular issue to focus on. It’s best to get fairly specific with this issue so that you can tackle larger problems in manageable sections. Trying to tackle too much at once could interfere with your focus and make the therapy less effective.schedule-intuitive-reading-with-paul-now

Spend some time meditating before your tapping session, bringing your focus into the body and letting go of all distractions. Begin to direct your attention to the problems you’re facing, and narrow that focus down to one particular issue that’s interfering with your daily life and happiness. Begin to anchor your attention into this issue, drawing it in as the focus of your session.

Rate the Intensity

Once you have your focus set, it’s a good idea to rate the current intensity of the problem in your life. In other words, how serious is the problem, and how much distress and disruption is it causing you at the present moment. This will help you to track if the tapping therapy is working for you or if you need to try different techniques.

As you focus on your specific issue, think about how much this issue impacts you, your daily life, and your happiness. Rate it on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being only mild inconvenience and 10 being debilitating. You can also assign this ranking based on how much the problem has impacted you at other times in your life.

Choose a Mantra

Now that you understand the scope of your problem a little better, it’s time to choose your mantra for the tapping session. This will be a specific reminder phrase you’ll use to reset your focus throughout the session. These words can help to direct the energy change that happens during the session.

Your mantra should be one of acknowledgment and acceptance, recognizing that the problem is present in your life and offering compassion and acceptance to yourself. There should be no judgment – only recognition that this is a problem in your life and that you are still worthy and a divine being of light.

Follow the Tapping Sequence

With your mantra and focus centered in your mind, you’ll be ready to begin the tapping sequence. You’ll need to follow a specific order as you move across the tapping points. During your first few sessions, you may want to consult an EFT tapping chart to make sure you’re hitting the right meridian points.

Tap each point in the sequence about five times with your fingertips. You can tap the points that have twin positions at the same time, or you can just tap one side.schedule-intuitive-reading-with-paul-now

Begin with the tapping point directly in the center of the top of your head, and then move to the beginning of your brows closest to your nose. Move to the bones on the outside corner of your eyes, then to the bone about one inch below your pupils.

Next comes the point between your nose and your upper lip, followed by the point between your lower lip and your chin. Finish with the points just below the inside ends of your collarbones and then those on the sides of the body about four inches below your armpits.

Rate the Intensity Again

Once you’ve finished the tapping sequence, take a few deep breaths, and then rate the intensity of your issue again. In an ideal treatment, you’ll notice that the intensity has gone down from where it was when you began tapping. However, you may notice that it takes a few rounds to see noticeable improvement.

Continue this tapping sequence, repeating your mantra with each point you tap. You may find that after a while, the changes to the intensity of your problem plateau. Once this happens or the intensity reaches zero, you can stop the session and return to it as needed.

Learn More About EFT Tapping

EFT tapping can be a great way to manage stress, reduce anxiety, and ease symptoms of depression. Begin by identifying the issue you want to work on and setting a mantra of acknowledgment and acceptance. Follow the tapping sequence, repeating it until the intensity of your problem has lessened.

If you’d like to learn more about EFT tapping, check out the rest of my site at PaulWagner.com. I am here to help you awaken and bravely create an inspired life. Learn more about my services today and start changing your life in the most positive way.


You are a beautiful Living Being filled with light and love, born from stardust. You are unlimited potential in every direction. With a focus on discipline, virtue, and your own goodness, you can become as expanded and liberated as you desire.


Pray for others and the Universe prays for us.


Heal Yourself with Bach Flower Remedies

Bottle of essential oil with herbs holy basil flower, basil flower,rosemary,oregano, sage,parsley ,thyme and mint set up on old wooden background .

Heal Yourself with Bach Flower Remedies

Do you ever wish there was a magic tonic you could drink that would rid you of negative emotions? Something you could take when you’re overwhelmed, afraid, or just downright angry? What if we told you the answer may be hiding in the many beautiful flowers native to our world?

Bach Flower Remedies can be a fantastic natural way to deal with negative emotions. Read on to learn more about these remedies and how they can be used to fight negative emotions.

What Are Bach Flower Remedies?

Bach Flower Remedies mix low concentrations of flower essence with water and brandy to create a natural treatment. It’s important to note that these remedies are 27 percent alcohol, so don’t use them if you’re pregnant, you’ve dealt with addiction issues in the past, or you can’t consume alcohol for another reason. Always talk to your doctor before starting a new supplement or treatment to make sure it’s safe for your unique body.


Remedies for Anger

Cherry Plum

The focus of cherry plum Bach Flower Remedies is “Be in control.” This remedy focuses on giving you clarity in chaotic moments and helping you to keep anger and rage in check. It gives you the extra support you need to stay cool and in control during those stressful moments.


Holly Bach Flower Remedies focus on “Goodwill towards others.” Oftentimes, you may feel jealous or suspicious of the people around you, and you may find yourself making judgments about them. This remedy helps to encourage the positive potential you need to be open-hearted and undemanding.


Bach Flower Remedies chicory is meant to help you to love unconditionally. You may find that your anger stems from a place of overprotection or a need to control the situation. Chicory may help you to take a needed step back and care for the people in your life without expecting anything in return.


The focus for beech Back Flower Remedies is “Be more tolerant.” For many people, anger is a result of previous conceptions, rigid attitudes, and an intolerance for imperfection. Beech remedies can help you to become more tolerant, releasing those limits and your anger along with them.


Vine Bach Flower Remedies may help you to motivate, rather than dominate, in leadership situations. When we’re in positions of power, we may feel that we need to hold that ground and remain firmly in charge. Vine remedies help you to express a more positive side of leadership, being flexible and sharing your opinions without intimidation.


Remedies for Anxiety


The aspen Bach Flower Remedies motto is “Feel secure,” making it a perfect foil for anxiety. Our fear may spring from a lack of inner peace and security that makes us feel on edge. Aspen may help to improve your confidence, making it easier for you to tackle uncertain situations.


The elm Bach Flower Remedy focus, “Be efficient,” is perfect for anyone struggling with productivity due to anxiety. When our anxiety ramps up, we may often find that we have trouble checking things off our to-do list. Elm can help you to keep perspective, stay calm, and avoid the vicious cycle of being overwhelmed.


Mimulus is one of the classic Bach Flower Remedies for anxiety with its motto “Face your fears.” We all live with fear, worry, and anxiety each day, but we don’t have to let it overcome us. Mimulus can give you the positive energy to stand up to what scares you and enjoy your life without fear.

Red Chestnut

Red chestnut Bach Flower Remedies focus on “Peace of mind.” Sometimes, our fear can spring from a place of love and caring, as we worry about the people we are close to. Red chestnut helps you to foster compassion for the special people in your life without all the anxiety that can impact those relationships.

Rock Rose

The focus phrase for rock rose Bach Flower Remedies is “Have courage,” a mantra many of us may need badly during the hard times of our lives. When we find ourselves in times of trouble, we may get overwhelmed by a sense of panic. Rock rose replaces that overwhelm with a deep sense of calm and courage to face the present situation.


Remedies for Sadness


Gentian Bach Flower Remedies is designed for the moments of doubt and despair in your life, when you need to “accept setbacks.” As we go through hard times in life, we may be overcome by negative energy and deep feelings of sadness. Gentian can help you regain your positive potential and face your challenges with conviction.


When those times of sadness arrive, gorse Bach Flower Remedies can help us to “have hope.” You may find yourself looking for any sign of light and hope during the hard times. Gorse can renew your positive potential and optimistic outlook to help you find the light in dark moments.

Wild Rose

Wild rose Bach Flower Remedies are meant to help you “show enthusiasm.” Sometimes, your sadness may not be due to a specific problem, but rather a more general feeling of apathy. Wild rose can help to reignite your passion for life and help you make the changes you need in your life.


Getting through hard times can feel like slogging uphill with a bowling ball tied to your foot. Oak Bach Flower Remedies are meant to help you “restore endurance” and push through the bad days. It helps you to recharge and persevere without pushing past the limits of your mental and emotional health.


If your sadness is coming from something in your past, you may need honeysuckle Bach Flower Remedies to help you “embrace the now.” Releasing negativity in our pasts is key to finding future peace and clarity. Honeysuckle can make it easier for you to move forward in life with confidence and no regrets.


Remedies for Frustration


Impatiens, with its “Have patience” focus is the perfect Bach Flower Remedy for frustration. When we become impatient, we may start to be frustrated with the people and situations around us that are moving more slowly than we are. Impatiens helps us to slow down, realize our positive potential, and find ease in life.


Willow is a Bach Flower Remedy that focuses on “Forgive and forget.” You may become frustrated by past wrongs or things in your life that seem unfair. Willow helps you to release that resentment, fight negativity, and find a sense of humor when things don’t go as you think they should.

Sweet Chestnut

Sweet chestnut is the Bach Flower Remedy to reach for when you need to “be optimistic.” Often in the midst of frustration, we feel as though things will never get better again. Sweet chestnut helps us to regain a clear mind and face those negative feelings with peace and optimism.


Sometimes, our frustration may be with ourselves, rather than with those around us. During these times, it’s best to use pine Bach Flower Remedy, which helps us to “have self-respect.” This remedy shows us how to have compassion for ourselves and not beat ourselves up for mistakes.

Chestnut Bud

Another facet of that internal frustration may be that we sometimes make the same mistakes over and over again. Chestnut bud Bach Flower Remedies help us to “learn from mistakes.” It can help us to find the wisdom inherent in previous mistakes and move forward with optimism and self-compassion.


Learn More About Bach Flower Remedies

Bach Flower Remedies can be a great way to deal with the many negative emotions and experiences life throws our way. These natural remedies can manage some of the causes behind anxiety, sadness, anger, frustration, and other such emotions. And, as always be sure to talk to your doctor before starting any sort of new supplement or treatment to make sure it’s safe for you.

If you’d like to learn more about Bach Flower Remedies, check out the rest of my site at PaulWagner.com. I am here to help you awaken and bravely create an inspired life. Learn more about my services today and start changing your life in the most positive way.


You are a beautiful Living Being filled with light and love, born from stardust. You are unlimited potential in every direction. With a focus on discipline, virtue, and your own goodness, you can become as expanded and liberated as you desire.


Pray for others and the Universe prays for us.

Spiritual Bypassing And How It Can Harm You

We all have our avoidance mechanisms. Maybe it’s a Netflix binge to avoid dealing with something uncomfortable in your life, or perhaps it’s constantly checking your phone, so you don’t have to address the awkward silence with a friend. Whether we know it or not, most of us put up roadblocks that keep us from having to really look at something uncomfortable going on in our lives and deal with it. Such avoidance mechanisms are referred to as “spiritual bypassing,” which is a term coined by psychologist and author John C. Calloway in his book, “Unitive Thinking: New Visions of Self, Community, and Society.” In his article “Spiritual Bypassing: What It Is and Why it Matters,” Dr. Neela Samant explains that spiritual bypassing refers to “a tendency among enlightened individuals to use their spirituality as a means of evading rather than addressing problematical aspects of themselves — what they see as negative or unworthy parts of themselves — as well as challenging social issues such as oppression, injustice, and inequality.” The following blog
post will explain what spiritual-bypassing is, why you might be doing it, how it might hurt you (and others), and how you can stop doing it once and for all.

What Is Spiritual Bypassing?

Spiritual bypassing is when you use your spiritual practice or beliefs to avoid addressing issues that are uncomfortable to you. You use your spiritual or growth practice as an “out” clause to avoid addressing something you don’t want to deal with. This might be an issue related to your psychological health, some unresolved trauma, or something that challenges your identity.

Why Do People Spiritual Bypass?

People use spiritual bypassing because it’s easier than facing what’s really going on. Whenever something challenges your identity or you have some unresolved trauma that you haven’t dealt with, it can be painful and uncomfortable to confront that. It can feel like you’re being pulled into a black hole of self-doubt. There are also issues of scarcity that can come up when you’re faced with your own struggles. You might feel like you’re not “good
enough”, or that there isn’t enough “success” or “perfection” to go around. In this way, confronting your issues can feel like a threat to your own sense of security and identity.

How Can Spiritual Bypassing Harm You?

When you use spiritual bypassing, you don’t really get to confront your issues and work through them. This means they stay stuck in your system and continue to manifest in your life as unhealthy behaviors and thought patterns. What often happens is that you might see some initial success using your spiritual practice to avoid dealing with your issues, but then your issues catch up with you. When this happens, you may feel like you have to turn to your spiritual practice even more, which can cause spiritual bypassing to become a chronic pattern in your life.

How To Stop Spiritually Bypassing?

First, you need to be aware that you’re doing it. To do this, you can keep a journal where you write down your feelings and thoughts. You can also talk to a trusted friend about what you’re dealing with and notice what you’re turning to as an “out” clause. When you become aware of what you’re doing, you can start to challenge the thought patterns that lead you to use your spirituality as a crutch. Start to notice what you’re telling yourself and whether it’s actually true or not. You can also try to apply the same rules to yourself that you would
apply to a friend.

Confront Yourself Head-On

When we look at ourselves honestly, we can connect with and release stored and suppressed emotions, and we can identify and release the personalities we create that do not truly honor who we are. If we continuously paint everything pretty and purple, we will have no pathway to deconstruct our false Selves. Look at yourself, honestly. Admit your faults and seek to improve upon them. Release the aspects that do not serve you. Own your nature and life so that you can advance mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.


The point of spirituality is to help you be the best version of yourself you can be. It’s not there to be a crutch to get you out of dealing with things that challenge your identity. The more you confront your issues with spiritual bypassing, the more you’ll be able to use your spirituality for good. You’ll also be a better friend to those who are dealing with their own issues by not using your spirituality as an “out” clause. There will always be challenges in life, and they are what make life exciting and meaningful. By confronting your issues and using your spirituality to support yourself, you’ll be a happier, healthier, and more empowered person.

Meet Paul Wagner

Paul Wagner is an Intuitive Life & Business Coach, clairvoyant reader, and a five-time EMMY Award-winning writer. He created “THE PERSONALITY CARDS,” a powerful Oracle-Tarot deck that’s helpful in life, love, and relationships. Paul studied with Lakota elders in the Pecos Wilderness, who nurtured his empathic abilities and taught him the sacred rituals. He has lived at ashrams with enlightened masters, including Amma, the Hugging Saint, for whom he’s delivered keynotes at Her worldwide events.

Paul tours the world lecturing on spiritual liberation. He lovingly offers intuitive readings, inspirational coaching, and illuminating courses to help others with self-discovery, decision-making, healing, and forgiveness. Book a session with Paul: HERE

The Teachings of Gabor Mate

We all go through trauma in our lives. Whether that is addiction, disease, childhood trauma, alienation or even stresses in the household, the wounds that we carry with us can resonate with us for our entire lives, if we let it. This trauma can be passed along to our children and manifest in our bodies as physical illness, leading to chronic pain and other degenerative diseases that were entirely preventable if we showed ourselves kindness. The good thing is, is that you can overcome this trauma and heal, and that is the core of the fundamental teachings of the award-winning author, Dr Gabor Maté.

Early Life in Hungary And Immigration To Canada

To understand how Gabor Maté became a world-renowned physician, psychologist and author, we must look at what influenced him to do so. Originally from Hungary, his family fled the war-torn nation, as his family experienced devasting trauma from World War II. During the war, his maternal grandparents were killed in Auschwitz and his own father had to endure forced labor by the National Socialist German Workers Party.  They immigrated to Canada in 1956 when Dr Maté was just twelve years old.

The Influence of Vancouver

When Dr Gabor Maté established his own family practice after graduating medical school, he found himself setting up a family practice in one of the poorest neighbourhoods in Canada: the Downtown Eastside (DTES) of Vancouver.  The social-economic climate of this area greatly influenced and impacted much of Dr. Gabor Maté’s work, where high levels of drug use, homelessness, poverty, crime, mental illness, and sex work, were common amongst its residents. There, Dr Gabor Maté ran a medical practice for over 20 years, where he consistently worked with patients suffering from mental health issues and substance abuse concerns, eventually leading him to write about his experiences with trauma and the connection between the mind, body and soul.

The Gabor Maté Approach

The road to healing trauma is long and can seem like it’s an up-hill battle, but it is entirely possible.  By combining scientific research, case studies, and personal experience, Dr. Gabor Maté believes that we have the innate power to heal ourselves from trauma, if we know where to look and what to listen to. Once we have healed ourselves, we become whole, and can then work to help to heal others. That is the true cycle of healing.

Uncovering Trauma

Dr. Gabor Maté’s approach to addiction focuses on the trauma his patients have suffered and uses it as a part of their recovery process.  In simplest terms, trauma is a lasting, emotional response that is sustained from a distressing event and carried throughout one’s life.  Trauma does not refer to what has happened to you, but rather what happens inside your mind as a result. How you internalize those events and the way that they manifest physically, will depend on if you work through your trauma, or let it rule you.

To begin the process of healing, you must understand where the trauma begins.  Of course, some of these trauma memories may not be easily accessible to individuals and are repressed for survival reasons. We don’t want to engage with feelings or thoughts that make us uncomfortable.  However, Dr. Maté disagrees with this idea stating that all you need to do is ask the right questions to get to the root cause of your trauma.

Substance Abuse and It’s Connection To Trauma

Dr. Maté believes that addiction is any behaviour or substance that a person relies on to relieve short-term pain, which will unfortunately lead to negative long-term consequences.  Like trauma, this pain needs to be addressed, otherwise the individual will crave further release and be susceptible to relapse.

Gabor’s approach to addiction, called the “Compassionate Inquiry” involves both the individual and therapist to peel back the individual’s consciousness, mental climate, hidden assumptions, and implicit memories to reveal the unconscious dynamics that run their lives.  The purpose of this is to get to the core of the individual to see what they are telling themselves unconsciously and how this unconscious self-talk is dictating the way they live their lives.  This approach is studied by many therapists, physicians, and counselors internationally.

The Written Works of Dr. Maté

Dr. Maté dedicates his time educating people on topics relating to mental health and psychology through his writings.  In addition to being a regular columnist for Vancouver Sun and The Globe and Mail, and his works highlight the role of psychological trauma and stress in addiction, and the importance of relationships and social attachment for learning and health.

  • Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder – This book provides a new perspective on ADD based on Dr. Maté’s personal experience with the disorder.
  • When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress – This book discusses the effect that stress has on the mind and the body, and how one’s emotional makeup can impact and individual’s susceptibility to diseases.
  • Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers (Co-authored with Dr. Gordon Neufeld) – This book examines the breakdown of parental influence in recent years as children look to their peers for direction.
  • In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction – This book details Dr. Maté’s experiences working in DTES and his observations on addiction while working with Canada’s most vulnerable.
  • The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture – This book dissects the irony in Western healthcare systems that pride themselves in its effectiveness is seeing an alarming increase in chronic illness, prescription drug use, high blood pressure, and mental illness.
  • Hello Again: A Fresh Start for Parents and Their Adult Children (to be released in 2023 with Daniel Maté) – This book, co-written with his son, is written to guide parents and adult children to navigate their respective paths into adulthood.

Philanthropic Work

Dr. Maté is a passionate activist, using his influence and credentials to bring awareness and end the stigmatization of mental health, psychology, and drug use. In 2008, he defended physicians working at Insite, a legal and supervised safe injection site after being attacked as unethical by the Canadian Minister of Heath at the time.  By standing up for the physicians working at the site, Dr. Maté prevented the further stigmatization of drug use in Canada. In 2010, Maté became interested in plant medicine for the potential of treating addictions.  Using this knowledge, he partnered with a traditional Peruvian shamanic healer to organize multi-day retreats for addiction treatments.

Learning From Dr. Maté

As individuals, we have our own personal issues and problems that plague us.  But with the power of healing and strength in numbers, there is a possibility to overcome our hardships if we learn to ask the right questions and welcome the healing process.  That is the hope that keeps us moving forward.

In the words of Dr. Maté, “Hope is about wishing for something to happen in the future. It is absconding from the present. Noam Chomsky was asked once if he was an optimist or a pessimist and he said, ‘Strategically, I’m an optimist, and tactically, I’m a pessimist.’ Like him, in the long term, I see the possibilities of human beings. In the short term, I see all kinds of problems. I see the possibility of healing and transformation both on the social and the personal level, but I see that possibility in the present.”

Be kind to yourself and others, and seek out help when you need it. Don’t feel shame or embarrassment, be compassionate to yourself on your journey and live with integrity. Everyone has their own trauma and issues, and it’s a good thing that there are people like Dr Mate who work hard and share their knowledge with us all, to help us become better people and to find joy and peace in our lives.

Meet Paul Wagner

Paul Wagner is an Intuitive Life & Business Coach, clairvoyant reader, and a five-time EMMY Award-winning writer. He created “THE PERSONALITY CARDS,” a powerful Oracle-Tarot deck that’s helpful in life, love, and relationships. Paul studied with Lakota elders in the Pecos Wilderness, who nurtured his empathic abilities and taught him the sacred rituals. He has lived at ashrams with enlightened masters, including Amma, the Hugging Saint, for whom he’s delivered keynotes at Her worldwide events.

Paul tours the world lecturing on spiritual liberation. He lovingly offers intuitive readings, inspirational coaching, and illuminating courses to help others with self-discovery, decision-making, healing, and forgiveness. Book a session with Paul: HERE

The Personality Cards: Most Specific Eye-Opening Oracle to Date

Have you ever seen personality cards? Do you know how to use these cards? Personality cards are more specific oracles to our daily lives; they are helpful in forgiveness and our self-discovery journey, shedding a lot of light on improving our lives. The personality cards are a combination of psychological types: the Carl Jung personality archetypes, which form the basis of how to be human and how we experience things, and the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator test, a scientific test that helps you figure out your personality. The energy carried in a particular tarot archetype is that which is dominant in your deeper self. This makes the Personality Cards the most specific, eye-opening oracle to date.

Have you taken the MBTI test? The Myer Briggs Type Indicator Test(MBTI) is a free test that you can take online and tells you where you fit in the 16 personality profiles. These profiles are based on the Jungian theory. Four attributes make up the 16 types, and just like the archetypes, these attributes describe how one experiences the world. The four attributes are represented by letters;

      • Introversion (I) or Extroversion (E)
      • Intuition (N) or Sensing (S)
      • Feeling (F) or Thinking (T)
      • Perceiving (P) or Judging (J)

There are eight descriptions in these four attributes; the MBTI test tells you that you fit four of them out of the eight, and this forms a four-letter code like ISFJ. These personality types on the test have a correlation to 16 archetypes on the Minor Arcana or Lesser Arcana of the tarot deck, also called court cards; there is a King, Knight, Page, and Queen for each of the four suits; Wands, Swords, Coins, and Cups.

Other ways to calculate your soul and personality card

Apart from the MBTI test, some have come up with other ways of calculating the soul and personality card by using your birth dates. Your personality card will describe some of the traits you portray and help you see yourself from a different POV.

How do you use your birth dates to find your personality card?

It is simple! To use this oracle, you add the year, month, and day you were born in no specific order. After finding the total, add the digits of the total; if the sum of these digits is between 10 and 22, that number is your personality number. If the sum is more than 22, add the resulting number, and the answer you get will be your personality card. Your soul card is the resulting number from adding the digits of your personality card. Describing this in words makes it seem very complicated, maybe using an example would not make you scared of the math.

     For someone born on 23rd August 1998,


2+0+2+9=13 is your personality card

1+3=4 is the soul card.

Here are the soul and personality cards that these numbers represent;

0 or 22 represented The Fool,

1-the Magician

2-the High Priestess

3-the Empress

4-the Emperor

5-the Hierophant

6-the Lovers

7-the Chariot


9-the Hermit

10-Wheel of Fortune


12-the Hanged Man


14-the Temperance

15-the Devil

16-the Tower

17-the Star

18-the Moon

19-the Sun

20-the Judgement

21-the Universe

Which personality card are you? Find out today using your birth date; you can also calculate for your loved one! Be careful… this oracle is super powerful.

Oracle Profiles of the 16 personality archetypes that correlate with the MBTI test

  • Page of Wands has a personality type ESTP; Extroversion Sensing Thinking Perceiving. This Page of Wands personality type is always ready for new adventures and challenges; they are very energetic, creative, enthusiastic, and brave and are not afraid to ditch an adventure midway when a new one emerges. They enjoy spontaneity and are flexible; they are always ready to explore new places, meet new people, and socialize with them. The Page of Wands’ personality is always the life of the party; he appreciates creative arts, dance, music, and art. To them, having fun is not always about having a lot of money; they make it possible to have fun with whatever resources they have. They are very talkative and outgoing. They need to feel important, and this makes them good group leaders. They enjoy shopping and understand the value of money; however, they are not materialistic. They desire to succeed and are eager to learn to attain excellence. Do you know someone who has these traits?
  • Knight of Wands’ personality type is ENFP, the Magician. The Magician has a natural talent for leadership; if you have this personality, you are a born leader or manager. Your natural-born leadership helps you get things moving in the right direction; you have the enthusiasm to get things done in a short time and accomplish essential things in your organization. When in a leadership position, you relate better with others. You enjoy being a leader because you want to be a crucial part of the team and community; you enjoy moving the crowd with bold antics and big gestures and receiving attention.
  • Additionally, you like to show off a bit. You always see the best in people and quickly spot mistakes and flaws. The Knight of Wands is exciting and charismatic despite not being consistent and reliable all the time.
  • Queen of Wands has the personality type ESFP. The picture on this oracle card is a woman with a tall crown, holding a small crown and veil in one hand and, in the other, a wand. On the throne where she is seated, two lions are standing behind her. This personality loves attention and is very chatty, outgoing, and enthusiastic. They are friendly, very pleasant, warm, love being the life of the party, and like to have fun; however, they can also be serious and very determined. They have a creative side, get inspired by imagination, and are entrepreneurial. This personality type is committed to their career and family, very confident, and independent.
  • The King of Wands strongly connects to intuition because it appears in the High Priestess position in the Tarot. The personality type is ENTJ, and some qualities it possesses include creativity and intelligence. The King of Wands is an influential and confident leader. He is also an adventurer who never tires of looking for new ways of thinking and experiences. He wants to use discovery to improve the world and always wants the best for those around him. He is a jack of all trades, an expert in scientific, artistic, and practical things. He loves great things and splurges only when he wants to feel good about himself. He is a charismatic and inspirational leader who motivates others to be proud of their accomplishments the same way he is, showing them they can be good at something. He is a natural leader; confident, open-minded, assertive, influential, and decisive.
  • Page of Cups is the Peacemaker, and INFP is the personality type for this oracle card. If you are this personality type, you are a classic artist archetype, an artist, and a sensitive person who spontaneously expresses themselves. You are reciprocating the emotional investment you demand from others. You are an empath and have wisdom about life’s ups and downs. A Peacemaker is very compassionate, calm, and caring. They network efficiently and form connections quickly with others. Their forte is seeing the big picture and thinking outside the box. They seek to maintain peace and have care and compassion for others. Being introverts, they enjoy alone time and can provide support to others because they are in tune with their emotions. They understand others and different situations. They are promising innovators as well.
  • Knight of Cups lives in the moment and has the personality type ENFP. This personality type is very passionate, genius, and idealistic. They love making friends and having many friends at once, being in a team; their thirst for connections is unquenchable. They always want to share with others the things they see that we cannot. For a Knight of Cups, life is all about making connections with others, and therefore, for them, they hold their relationships in high regard. They are very charismatic, and their desire to find pleasure in life may sometimes be dangerous. They are intense, impulsive, indulgent, spontaneous, and fickle.
  • Queen of Cups has the most complex and rare personality type, INFJ. It is very authentic and a unique combination of cognitive functions. These functions make them very accurate in their predictions and perceptions. A Queen of Cups can gather information from all sources and process it in a way that represents the truth. She understands things that the rest cannot. She is sensitive, and caring, loves to learn about people, is a good mentor and teacher, loves to help people find their paths in life, and understand their nature. They also offer wise counsel. However, it is easy for them to be manipulative, especially if others do not appreciate their work.
  • King of Cups is also called the idealist. Their personality type is ENFJ. They are very persuasive, compassionate, and easy to get along with. They have a lot of concern and empathy for the well-being of others. They are supportive of their team members and are often natural diplomats. Their authenticity and sincerity make them gain others’ trust. However, they are persistent and stubborn, which can annoy others. a King of Cups is very creative in writing, art, and music. They do not mind leadership positions and, at times, get bothered when they don’t get their way. They are mature, sensitive, and make excellent communicators.
  • Page of Swords has the ISTP personality type: inquisitive, analytical, and quick-witted. They grasp information rapidly and, therefore, can do well in fast-paced areas. They are also very good at improvising and are very creative. They have few but extreme emotions. The downside to this personality is that it is easy for an ISTP personality type to let emotions let the better part, and they can upset their friends when they lose their cool. This personality type knows what they want and how to get that; they are also self-sufficient. They find interest m the physical world and love learning new things but are also very stubborn. They are philosophers and deep thinkers who always look for patterns, new information, and other patterns.
  • Knight of Swords’ personality type is ENTP. They have the following traits; inventors, love to travel, problem solvers, and rationalists. They love to think and are open to new ways of thinking. Their minds wander a lot. They are good at languages; they desire to expand their horizons and are very knowledgeable in handling technology, especially computers. They are confided in their abilities, and this comes off as arrogance. They are independent and, at times, maybe impatient; they are at times outspoken and blunt and prioritize logic and rationality over feelings and emotions.
  • Queen of Swords is a perfectionist, brilliant, independent, self-confident, and loves to get things done. The personality type for Queen of Swords is INTJ. This personality type is not afraid to take charge and make decisions; they are natural leaders. They love coming up with new strategies and ideas and solving problems. Queen of Swords is very empathetic and intuitive; they can read people and know how they feel and think. They know engineering, science, mathematics, and technology. INTJs are good at what they do. They are always focused on achieving their goals and can go over the line and be ruthless in achieving them. A Queen of Swords is very persuasive and can convince others that her way is the best; she looks at the bigger picture and has a big heart. She is resilient, tough, strong, sharp-tongued if provoked, direct, shrewd, and determined to solve problems no matter the fallout.
  • King of Swords is an oracle card representing an extroverted thinker with a personality type ENTJ. They are good leaders and excellent planners. They are visionary and always want to lead by example; they use their imaginations when planning. They do not like restraints that prevent them from dreaming big. ENTJs are practical, responsible, and disciplined; they enjoy getting things done. They are confident, focused, intelligent, in control, and direct. They like to create strategies, research, study, and dig into details; all these are characteristics of a truth seeker.
  • Page of Pentacles’ personality type is Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging. This personality type is reserved and, as a result, pays more attention to details and facts. The Page of Pentacles shows very little interest in imagination and creativity. Therefore, it is possible that they hardly use words to express themselves and thus find it hard to express their emotions. Interpersonal relations for this personality type are also complicated; they have difficulty relating with people. They are efficient, loyal, and respected because they get things done well, are committed to a career, studies and money, they are a natural student who focuses on taking action rather than making plans and strategies.
  • Knight of Pentacles has the personality type ISTP (Introversion Sensing Thinking Perceiving). According to Carl Jung’s model of determining personality type, this is one of the operational cognitive functions. Knight of Pentacles personality type is also known as the Artist or Artisan. They are builders or fixers; they are builders because they emphasize practical objects and physical constructions. They are also fixers because of their ability to put things in order quickly and tend to be systematic, practical, and logical. He is concerned with social status and material wealth and proud that he can create a good living for himself. He is unhappy when he has not created more wealth and a name for himself. His traits include his concern for doing the right thing always, determined, cautious, practical, guarded, and stubbornness, and he is always the hardest worker.
  • The personality type for Queen of Pentacles is ISFJ and is characterized by the following traits; being devoted to the family as a good wife and mother who will take care of her children and husband. She is very warm, caring, and willing to sacrifice much for the people they love. The Queen of Pentacles is not flashy and does not extravagantly display her wealth; she is very practical, saving for the future, providing for her family, and spending her money wisely. This personality type is rare and very valuable; people often have a sense of duty and obligation with this personality type.

A Queen of Pentacles is a good organizer, supportive, loves to look after others, is loyal, emotionally stable, and gives their time, resources, and energy to doing good for others without a reward. ISFJ people excel in academics and careers to prove they are worth something. They take pride in being able to fend for their families, and because this personality type is rare, dishonest people often manipulate them.

  • King of Pentacles is ESTJ and is associated with the fifth planet, Jupiter, the Element of water and earth. The King of Pentacles is an oracle card representing a natural entrepreneur who keeps their expenditure on track, understands money’s value, and is a leader. The learning styles associated with the King of Pentacles are analytical, practical, and logical. If you have this personality, you are an exceptional organizer and planner. You are loyal, have a strong sense of duty, and are disciplined with quiet self-control and confidence. You are very ambitious and interested in self-improvement, you are responsible with a solid work ethic, and you work hard to be successful. You are strong, very resourceful, and pragmatic. The King of Pentacles may want to be a real estate buyer, architect, builder, or contractor.

These personality archetypes and oracle cards give a more detailed insight into various personality cards. The various profiles discussed above make it easy to find where you lie. Are you an ISFJ or an INTP? Is your soul card 12 or 0? These oracle cards have made it easier for us to discover who we are; we do not have to go through life wondering who we are and being scared of how to embrace who we are becoming. Using oracles is extremely helpful as you dive deeper into your self-discovery journey.

Therefore, do not be afraid to embark on a journey of self-discovery because you are not starting from a place of ignorance; personality cards are the oracle guides that will give you insight and help you all the way.

Meet Paul Wagner

Paul Wagner is an Intuitive Life & Business Coach, clairvoyant reader, and a five-time EMMY Award-winning writer. He created “THE PERSONALITY CARDS,” a powerful Oracle-Tarot deck that’s helpful in life, love, and relationships. Paul studied with Lakota elders in the Pecos Wilderness, who nurtured his empathic abilities and taught him the sacred rituals. He has lived at ashrams with enlightened masters, including Amma, the Hugging Saint, for whom he’s delivered keynotes at Her worldwide events.

Paul tours the world lecturing on spiritual liberation. He lovingly offers intuitive readings, inspirational coaching, and illuminating courses to help others with self-discovery, decision-making, healing, and forgiveness. Book a session with Paul: HERE

Archetypes and Personality Cards: The Influence of Carl Jung

The Personality Cards are symbols; archetypes and metaphors for aspects of our personalities that can be found within all of us. When we understand what these symbols mean, we can use the cards to interpret experiences, situations and our relationships with ourselves and others, giving us insight into our daily lives to help us along our spiritual journeys. The Personality Cards were made with the influence of Carl Jung, a famous theorist who’s pioneering research into the human mind and psyche allowed us to understand the similarities within one another through symbols and the common stories that we tell.

Carl Jung and the Human Psyche

The influence of Carl Jung was really to popularize the idea of archetypes, or symbols of the collective consciousness when he was doing his research and clinical practice in the early twentieth century. Jung separates parts of our personality out into that which we are conscious of and elements that which we are unconscious of. Our conscious mind is where the ego sits and this ego is made up of the pieces of our personality that we are aware of.

According to Jung, people have ‘personas’ which are an aspect of personality that comes from a desire to please, or be accepted by, others. This is the face that we choose to let others see, while our other, unwanted traits are buried deep.

There are four major aspects of the human psyche that Jung identified:

The Self: The center of the personality or psyche your conscious awareness

The Shadow: The dark and emotional aspect of your psyche

The Anima/Animus: Both are unconscious versions of the masculine or feminine sides of the opposite sex

The Persona: The mask you wear to show the world while you protect your inner self

The Influence of Carl Jung “Persona”

Your persona is, at its core, the person who you want to be and who you show-up as to everyone else. It is often tied into societal expectations and influenced by those around us. It is the mask that you wear when you are around others. In essence, it is almost a compromise of who you truly are. These masks that we wear are versions of ourselves that want to fit in or make an impression on others, but then on the other hand want to conceal our true nature from others.

There can be various shelves in life from where human beings collectively pull masks from. It can be your occupation, the religious group you are born in, your political views, sexual orientation just to name a few. Some examples of persona, or the roles you play, can be teacher, lawyer, doctor, policeman, mother, father, husband, wife etc. The persona thus helps an individual to adapt to the external social world.

How Our Personas Hold Us Back

If you identify too strongly with a specific persona, you can limit your psychological growth. For example, if you continuously identify with your outward persona, you might find yourself becoming too concerned with how others perceive you, which can cause a negative self-image and for you to develop superficial tendencies. You begin to believe that you are who you pretend to be, and that your persona is your true self, but in reality, it is only a part of you and not a reflection of your inner individuality.

Our Collective Unconscious: The Archetypes

Archetypes are ancient, universal symbols and characters that reside within the collective unconscious of people all over the world. These 12 symbols can take the form of images, ideas, or patterns of behavior. Archetypes can be seen as characteristics of the psyche, all of which we possess within ourselves. Jung hypothesized that archetypes are the root of our behavior and that they influence everything from the way we behave in relationships to the way we see the world. Jung believed that these are in fact metaphors for aspects of our collective unconscious and this is why these symbols can be found throughout the world.

These archetypal images find their way into ancient religions, myths, legends, and fairy tales. We find evidence of archetypes in our dreams, fantasies, and behavior. Every character in both our personal dreams and collective myths is an archetype, and we can observe them in the stories we read, the films we watch, and the plays we attend. They influence of Carl Jung archetypes affect our relationships and interactions with others and ourselves.

Here are the major archetypes and their shadow counterparts:

Archetype: The Ruler

Shadow: The Tyrant

The Ruler (also called The Father) is an archetype that is about control, power and order. These are the leaders we look to that are decisive and have a clear vision. The Ruler wants to bring out the best in everyone.

The Tyrant, on the other hand, is one that is repressive, dictatorial and oppressive, taking control to its most extreme. If this shadow type affects you, you might find yourself needing to constantly prove your worth and feel your best when you have power over others.

Archetype: The Rebel

Shadow: The Anarchist

The Rebel is the one who challenges our systems and likes to do things the way that they want to do them. In other words, they are the counter-culture rebels that stands up to authority because they are driven by what they believe in.

The Anarchist just wants to see the world burn. They are chaotic, disruptive and destructive. An Anarchist might continuously challenge authority for no good reason, just to be disruptive, and they may feel like they need to constantly defy societal norms in the process.

Archetype: The Lover

Shadow: The Seducer

The Lover craves connection through passion and intimacy, one who is deeply romantic and appreciates sensuality and beauty in all of its forms.

The Seducer takes this passion to the extreme, and will often be manipulative, seductive in a way that uses sex as a weapon. People who identify with this shadow archetype can find themselves constantly pursuing a lover or needing to be in a relationship. As well, they could use their sexuality to control others.

Archetype: The Caregiver

Shadow: The Martyr

The Caregiver, also known as The Mother, is all about nurturing, caring for and supporting others. They always want what is best for someone else and to make sure that others needs are met. They are selfless and will put the needs of others above their own.

In the shadow form, The Caregiver takes the form of The Martyr. The Martyr will be self-sacrificing, codependent and will be found in relationships where they are really not valued or appreciated. This is a version of victimhood.

Archetype: The Creator

Shadow: The Perfectionist

The Creator embodies imagination, artistic and self-expression. They have strong imaginations and take joy in the creation of things.

The Perfectionist is the version of The Creator where they believe that nothing they create will ever be good enough. They are hyper critical of themselves to the point where they will abandon their projects rather than be disappointed by what they create. Often, they will procrastinate.

Archetype: The Sage

Shadow: The Know-It-All

The Sage is all about knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. They can have a deep understanding of the world and can see things form other perspectives, making their insights very valuable.

The Know-It-All is someone who desperately wants to be The Sage, but are arrogant, close-minded and skeptics. They constantly question or doubt others capabilities, and are very critical of others, but never themselves.

Archetype: The Innocent

Shadow: The Victim

The Innocent archetype is one that is, well, innocent! They approach the world with a child-like wonder, can be a bit naive but are always very pure of heart. They are often very trusting of the world and those around them.

The Victim will be gullible, helpless and powerless. These types will constantly be taken advantage of or get into situations where they have little to no control. When The Victim is naïve, they are too trusting and can get themselves into challenging situations.

Archetype: The Explorer

Shadow: The Wanderer

The Explorer type is all about freedom and seeking thrills or adventure. They are independent and free-spirited, who are always on the look-out for new experiences.

The Wanderer is someone who seeks being free, but instead they drift through life aimless or directionless. In their quest for independence, they move constantly or will change jobs frequently. Often, they are restless and bored.

Archetype: The Hero

Shadow: The Bully

The Hero archetype is one that is determined, courageous and has an inner (or physical) strength. They are brave and will put the wellbeing of others before them. They aren’t afraid of a challenge.

The Bully is overly-aggressive, often picking fights with others just for the sake of it. They are abusive, violent and can be intimidating.

Archetype: The Wizard

Shadow: The Sorcerer

The Wizard (or The Shaman) is the one who understands the universe and does their best to heal if through their acquired knowledge and experience.

The Sorcerer is one that uses their knowledge of things for evil or something deceptive. These types are manipulative and cunning, who will often stop at nothing to achieve their ends.

Archetype: The Jester

Shadow: The Fool

The Jester aims to bring joy and happiness to others, using jokes or other means to make us laugh. This helps to alleviate suffering and to help people find joy in difficult situations.

The Fool (of The Trickster) is a malicious, irresponsible and careless version of The Jester, using wit or humour to deceive others for their own personal gain.

Archetype: The Everyman

Shadow: The Slacker

The Everyman likes the status quo. They are the ones who crave normality and quite simply just being ordinary. They don’t crave attention or the spotlight and are most comfortable quietly contributing to society as a whole, without the need for acknowledgement.

The Slacker type is one that fears being left out of the group, but does not enjoy standing out, or contributing in any way. There is an intense fear of abandonment and a lack of self-identity.

Paul Wagner’s Personality Cards

Although the twelve archetypes identified by Jung (and their shadow counterparts) are incredibly useful when describing personalities, we all cannot identify with these 12 archetypical figures- there are simply not enough! The personality cards by Paul Wagner have 78 personality cards that aim at inspiring people divinely in relationships, life, and matters of love. These cards help one not only discover their personalities but also act as a guide to help people navigate issues like forgiveness and other situations. Each card has a symbolic image that is unique to a person. These cards are an extension of Carl Jung’s archetypes and provide an even deeper look into our psyches, but most importantly, used as a tool to help you along your spiritual journey.

A look into these cards will help you discover yourself and how to navigate your relationships with others. The messages at the back of the card give a simple reading into the personality the card identifies with. Which ones resonate most with you?

Meet Paul Wagner

Paul Wagner is an Intuitive Life & Business Coach, clairvoyant reader, and a five-time EMMY Award-winning writer. He created “THE PERSONALITY CARDS,” a powerful Oracle-Tarot deck that’s helpful in life, love, and relationships. Paul studied with Lakota elders in the Pecos Wilderness, who nurtured his empathic abilities and taught him the sacred rituals. He has lived at ashrams with enlightened masters, including Amma, the Hugging Saint, for whom he’s delivered keynotes at Her worldwide events.

Paul tours the world lecturing on spiritual liberation. He lovingly offers intuitive readings, inspirational coaching, and illuminating courses to help others with self-discovery, decision-making, healing, and forgiveness. Book a session with Paul: HERE

Personality Cards: Extension of Carl Jung’s 9 Archetypes

Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, originally Sigmund Freud’s follower, developed the analytical psychology approach and expanded on the idea that the unconscious is vital in behavior and personality, not just the personal unconscious but also the collective unconscious. He believed that the body, mind, and soul, or the human psyche, are made up of three parts; the collective unconscious, the ego, and the personal unconscious. The ego represents the conscious mind; in the personal unconscious, there are memories, even the suppressed ones, and finally, the archetypes are in the collective unconscious. The difference between the collective and personal unconscious is that the personal unconscious is unique to each individual. In contrast, the collective unconscious contains all the memories that the whole of humanity shares.

According to Carl Jung, we inherit biological, fundamental, and unconscious aspects from our ancestors. These archetypes are remnants of joys, sorrows, fate, and psychology repeated countlessly throughout history. Jung believes that this part of the human psyche; the collective unconscious, contains all the experiences and knowledge that humans, as species, share, and this theory goes against the ancient Greek concept of tabula rasa, believing that at birth, the human mind is a blank slate to be filled only with experience.

These archetypes serve as a basis for how to be human and how we experience some things. They symbolize fundamental human values, personalities, ambitions, beliefs, morals, and motivations. Jung felt that although each archetype had a vital role in personality, most people had a specific dominant archetype. The expression of archetypes depends on unique personal experiences, and cultural influences, among others. We can conclude the existence of archetypes by looking at religion, art, literature, and dreams since they cannot be directly apparent to the naked eye. There are an unlimited number of archetypes that may be in existence. However, Carl Jung identifies four major archetypes with a suggestion of two different personality centers.

Carl Jung’s Four Major Archetypes

The four main archetypes identified by Carl Jung represent the union of the conscious and unconscious. These archetypes are; the self, the Persona, the animus or anima, and the shadow. Here is a detailed analysis of these archetypes.

  1. The Persona

A derivation from a Latin word meaning mask, this archetype defines how we present ourselves to others; socially, it shows the different masks we wear when with our families, when at work, and when out with friends, to name a few. Based on our upbringing, the environment we are in, and our culture, our Persona takes different forms. It reflects our adaptation to our surroundings; we can protect ourselves or fit in depending on the groups and situations and protects the ego from negative images.

The Persona, according to Carl, takes different forms and may appear in dreams. This figurative social mask keeps one in check and ensures that they contain socially unacceptable impulses, emotions, and primitive urges. For instance, children, from a young age, are taught that to fit societal norms and expectations, they have to behave and act in a certain way. The downside to this archetype is that it can lead one to lose their true self as one tries to keep up with everyone else’s expectations and norms.

  1. The Shadow

In this archetype, humans have two sides; the dark and the light. While we want to show our light side, we choose to suppress the dark side, which becomes our shadow. Contained in the unconscious mind are personality aspects we are unaware of and those we don’t like. We can only realize through automatic responses; they arise without warming, more like reflexes. The Shadow archetype has our weaknesses, desires, repressed ideas, shortcomings, biases, prejudices, and instincts. This archetype represents chaos, wildness, and the unknown and is often referred to as the darker side of the psyche. It forms when we attempt to build our PersonaPersona and adapt to societal norms; all the things unacceptable to society and one’s morals form the shadow. Some things we repress and are found in the shadow include hate, envy, greed, and aggression.

According to Jung, this archetype, just like the Persona, can appear in dreams and may take various forms. It can also appear in visions and may appear as some dark, exotic, or wild figure like a demon, snake, or even a dragon, to name a few. We all have this side and often project it onto others as we deny it ourselves.

  1. The Animus or Anima

Anima is a woman, representing the femininity or feminine image in a man’s psyche. At the same time, the animus is a man and a representation of the masculine image or masculinity in a woman’s psyche. A combination of the animus and anima is referred to as the divine couple or syzygy and represents wholeness, unification, and completion.

How we perceive the world results from what we experience, our way of life, and how we are brought up. According to Jung, these three teach us what an ideal person should be like. He also believed that gender identities and the development of sex roles resulted from social influence and physiological changes. The encouragement in many cultures to adopt the traditional gender roles among men and women and exercise rigidity to anything contrary has undermined psychological development.

The personal unconscious has experiences with brothers, husbands, and boyfriends that contribute to a man’s image. In contrast, the collective unconscious contains information and notions on how men are supposed to behave, and the same applies to women. This archetype represents not what we present to others but who we are and acts as a principal source of communication with the personal and collective unconscious.

  1. The Self

This archetype is a result of merging the unconscious and conscious states with the ego. Here, you cannot find two similar personalities, everyone is unique, and their unique experiences in life help shape their individuality. This archetype is often referred to as mandala, square, or circle.

Other archetypes

The Jungian archetypes are not only limited to the four that have been mentioned above. There is no fixed number of archetypes in existence. These archetypes can combine, overlap, and intermingle to form more archetypes. According to Jung, the four main archetypes can combine to give rise to the following 12 archetypical images or figures.

      • Explorer
      • Rebel
      • Hero
      • Wizard
      • Lover
      • Caregiver
      • Sage
      • Innocent
      • Jester
      • Creator/artist
      • Everyman
      • Ruler

These 12 archetypical figures can be divided into four depending on their orientation and what they seek to realize. The ego type wants to impact the world and leave a mark; the freedom type desires paradise; the social type seeks to connect with other people; the order type yearns to provide or create structure in the world.

Paul Wagner’s Personality Cards: An Extension of Carl Jung

Each person is unique; there is no replica of you anywhere else in the world, even with the belief that you have almost seven replicas. That being said, we all cannot identify with these 12 archetypical figures. The personality cards by Paul Wagner have 78 personality cards that aim at inspiring people divinely in relationships, life, and matters of love. These cards help one not only discover their personalities but also act as a guide to help people navigate issues like forgiveness and other situations. Each card has a symbolic image that is unique to a person. These cards are an extension of Carl Jung’s archetypes; they include;

  • The Heart collector, the Family Fable, the Softie, the Transparent, the Innocent Rascal, the Disconnected, the Feral Storm, the Squeeze, the Contradictor, the Mystic, the Disruptor, the Conscious Twist, the Interrupter, the Whimsical, the Small stepper, the Cowboy, the Bull Rider, the Naïve, the Electricity, the Calculated, the Seeking Solace, the Skater, the Copycat, the Comedian, the Cuddler, the Serpentine, the Two Minds, the Indifferent, the Mosaic, the Regurgitator, the Fearless, The Partial Truth, the Coiled, the Frail, the Observer, the Lover, the Little Devil, the Bumble Bee.
  • The Empty Space, the Forgetful, the Feeler, the Rekindled, the Once-enchanted, the Harness, the Grouch, the Networker, the Awakened, the Disconnected, the Unattached, the Do-gooder, the Righteous Beast, the Yearning, the Wanderer, the King, the Jester, the Influencer, the Incredulous, the Noble, the Hermit, the Money, the Verge, the Repeater, the Socializer, the Outrageous, the Shifter, the Untouchable, the Floating, the Judge, the Healer, the Dogmatist, the Hedonist, the Menace, the Yesterday, the Asserter, the Respite, the Silent, the Facilitator, the Enticer, the Covert.

A look into these cards will help you discover yourself and how to navigate your relationships with others. The messages at the back of the card give a simple reading into the personality the card identifies with. Which ones resonate most with you?

Meet Paul Wagner

Paul Wagner is an Intuitive Life & Business Coach, clairvoyant reader, and a five-time EMMY Award-winning writer. He created “THE PERSONALITY CARDS,” a powerful Oracle-Tarot deck that’s helpful in life, love, and relationships. Paul studied with Lakota elders in the Pecos Wilderness, who nurtured his empathic abilities and taught him the sacred rituals. He has lived at ashrams with enlightened masters, including Amma, the Hugging Saint, for whom he’s delivered keynotes at Her worldwide events.

Paul tours the world lecturing on spiritual liberation. He lovingly offers intuitive readings, inspirational coaching, and illuminating courses to help others with self-discovery, decision-making, healing, and forgiveness. Book a session with Paul: HERE

Best Foods, Supplements, & Herbs For Anxiety & Panic Attacks

Panic attacks are sudden bouts of intense fear that peak within 10 minutes and subside in another 10. They can occur as frequently as once a week or once a year, last for just a few minutes and leave you feeling like you can’t catch your breath. As one of the most common anxiety disorders, panic attacks often strike those who experience general anxiety the most. Many people with panic attacks also suffer from depression, agoraphobia, or social anxiety. Even though there is no cure for generalized anxiety and panic attacks, there are some simple changes you can make to help combat these feelings. These food supplements target the underlying causes of stress and anxiety by changing your diet, exercise routine, sleep habits, stress management techniques and spiritual practice. Here are my favorite foods, supplements, and herbs for anxiety and panic attacks.

Diet And Nutrition For Anxiety

There is a lot of research that suggests that our diet and nutrition are related to our stress levels, anxiety, and mood. The Paleo diet and the Mediterranean diet have been shown to reduce anxiety, stress, and depression. Certain foods have a direct impact on anxiety, too.

Protein for neurotransmitter balancing. Amino acids like tryptophan are precursors for serotonin and dopamine. This can help ease stress and anxiety.

Magnesium for relaxation. This mineral is needed for more than 300 biochemical reactions in the body, including helping with muscle and nerve function.

The B vitamins for mood regulation. B vitamins are used in the creation of serotonin and melatonin, which are neurotransmitters that regulate mood.

Zinc for stress management. Zinc is needed to create the stress hormone cortisol and dopamine.

Exercise For Anxiety Relief

Exercise is one of the best ways to reduce anxiety and improve your mood. It works by releasing endorphins, which are chemicals that act as natural mood stabilizers. Exercise also helps you sleep better by lowering cortisol levels and releasing norepinephrine, which is helpful for falling asleep. Research shows that aerobic exercise is particularly helpful for managing anxiety. For example, one study found that aerobic exercise helped people with generalized anxiety disorder reduce their symptoms by 40%. The most important thing is to find a type of exercise you enjoy, because that will make it more likely you’ll make it a regular part of your life. If you’re not used to regular exercise, start out slowly and avoid exercising right before bedtime so you’ll be more likely to fall asleep. Start with 30 minutes a day and work your way up from there.

Throw Out The Bad And Keep The Good: Re-Evaluating Your Relationships

Building a healthy lifestyle also means re-evaluating relationships that contribute to your stress. If you have a friend who is always complaining and bringing you down, it may be time to distance yourself from them. If you have a friend who is constantly stressed and taking things too seriously, try to lighten the mood when you can. If you have a negative relationship with a family member, it may be worth trying to end the relationship peacefully if it’s possible. If you have a job that causes you excessive anxiety, it might be worth speaking with a career counselor about switching careers.

Try Breathing Exercises

This may seem like a strange exercise, but it’s actually been shown to help reduce anxiety by increasing the amount of magnesium in the body. This is because the body uses magnesium to help control the breathing process. To do this exercise, sit in a quiet spot and focus on your breathing. Breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Try to breathe at a normal pace, but slow down if you find yourself breathing too quickly. As you do this, try to relax the muscles in your arms and legs, and in your face. You can even close your eyes if that helps you relax even further. Try to do this for 5–10 minutes every day if you can, especially during times of high anxiety.

Make Yoga Part Of Your Routine

Yoga is a great way to help you relax and feel more at ease. It may even help reduce your overall anxiety levels if you do it regularly. If you have anxiety, it’s best to start out with a gentle yoga class that’s designed for beginners. Avoid more intense yoga classes if you have anxiety, as they can actually make it worse. Yoga poses that are helpful for anxiety include the cobra pose, warrior pose, tree pose, and the cat pose. There are also certain breathing techniques you can use while doing yoga that are helpful for anxiety. If you want to try yoga, but you don’t know where to start, there are plenty of online resources to help you out.

Supplement With Vitamin B And Magnesium

It’s important to note that none of these things will work overnight. Therefore, it’s a good idea to continue these practices for at least a few months. Once you see positive results, it will be much easier to keep up the healthy habits.

Vitamin B – Vitamin B is a crucial nutrient that’s needed to metabolize serotonin. Deficiencies in vitamin B have been shown to cause anxiety, so it’s important to get enough of it. Vitamin B is found in foods like fish, eggs, whole grains, legumes, and some vegetables.

Magnesium – Magnesium is another crucial nutrient that’s helpful for managing anxiety. It’s found in almonds, cashews, dark chocolate, pumpkin seeds, and spinach. If you struggle with anxiety, try to make some of these changes to your lifestyle. They can help reduce your anxiety and make your life a lot easier.

Herbs & Tinctures That Can Reduce Anxiety

This is a curated list of some of the most wonderful herbs for anxiety that can appease and relax your stress and even panic attacks.


Spiritually all about inner trust, calms nervous system, improves mood, sedative, Sleep, ANXIETY (rapid heart), soothes lung issues, helps heart disease, antiinflammatory, maybe THYROID SUPPRESSOR – Nervines support and relax the nervous system while nourishing and strengthening it. They fortify the “Vital Spirit” and gently support the Kidney and Liver Networks, Mother Earth Hugging You


Of all the herbs for anxiety you hear about, chamomile is the most popular on the shelf. For sleep, it is also one of most effect sleep aids, ragweed family can create allergy.

Banyan “I Sleep Soundly” – Valerian, Skullcap

Ingredients Valerian, Skullcap & More – Sleep, ANXIETY, THYROID SUPPRESSOR

Magnolia Bark (Houpu)

Houpu; stagnation of Qi, ANXIETY, anxiolytic, control of stress hormone, sedative, anti-cancer, Honokiol (compound in the bark) stronger than Diazepam in reducing anxiety and nervousness, neuroprtective, nervine, nootropic, antimicrobial, antiinflammaatory, plant-based nutrient rich in fiber aids in digestion, improves cardiovascular health

Chai Hu Mu Li Long Gu Tang (by company Blue Poppy)

Herbs for ANXIETY, panic, acts quickly, releases heart heat downward, great for nightime before bed, more than 1 can irritate stomach

Phosphatidyl-serine (PS100)

ANXIETY and sleep according to circadian rythm, stops hyperactive production of cortisol – take at night

Saffron (Crocus Sativa)

Anxiotlytic, hypnotic, sedative, sleep, ANXIETY, protective nutraceutical, protects the liver

Herbs for Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Having a panic attack can be a terrifying experience, and it can leave you feeling like you’re losing your mind. But with the right treatment and self-care, you can feel better and regain control of your life. There are a lot of misconceptions about anxiety and panic attacks, so it’s important to address these issues in order to reduce stigma. It’s also important to remember that these feelings are completely normal and that you aren’t alone. You can reduce anxiety, panic attacks, and stress in your life by making some simple changes to your diet, exercise routine, sleep habits, and stress management techniques.

Hopefully with these foods, supplements, and herbs for anxiety and panic attacks, you can begin to get relief.

Meet Paul Wagner

Paul Wagner is an Intuitive Life & Business Coach, clairvoyant reader, and a five-time EMMY Award-winning writer. He created “THE PERSONALITY CARDS,” a powerful Oracle-Tarot deck that’s helpful in life, love, and relationships. Paul studied with Lakota elders in the Pecos Wilderness, who nurtured his empathic abilities and taught him the sacred rituals. He has lived at ashrams with enlightened masters, including Amma, the Hugging Saint, for whom he’s delivered keynotes at Her worldwide events.

Paul tours the world lecturing on spiritual liberation. He lovingly offers intuitive readings, inspirational coaching, and illuminating courses to help others with self-discovery, decision-making, healing, and forgiveness. Book a session with Paul: HERE