How The Broadway Sensation “Hamilton” Pulls At Our Hearts And Reinforces Our Love Of Debt

Hamilton

Alexander Hamilton was obsessed with using debt to grow – just like most Americans. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

While starting a nation is a huge undertaking, our nation’s founders were a little hasty. The real Alexander Hamilton would have hated today’s Federal Reserve. Jefferson, too.

After seeing Hamilton in several cities, including on Broadway in its early days, I continue to be insanely obsessed with the play’s story and music. I love every nuance, character, and song. I adore the portrayal of Hamilton’s unrelenting drive to succeed. I love the images my mind conjures related to how he overcame oppression.

With every whack, tap, lyric, beat, and swipe, I feel inspired to be young, scrappy, and hungry. And while I’ve certainly jeopardized an opportunity or two, I’ve never thrown away my shot. I relate with Hamilton on every level.

When it comes to Hamilton, I’m an obsessed super-fan.

I listen to the Hamilton soundtrack a few times per week. This helps me remember the play’s tableaus and themes, like: the thrills of a seemingly justified war, a bold and defiant patriotism, the pains of self-discovery, and the emotional journeys born from crushing disappointment and death.

But something has been bugging me, and it’s not the price of the tickets.

 

When Hamilton rose to power in the colonial United States, British-Americans had fragile self-identities. They saw themselves as caught between two divorcing, alcoholic parents. For years, most Americans struggled with their perspective on the scuffles and impending war. A farmer might go to bed a fervent patriot and wake-up a loyal, defender of the crown.

In the midst of all the mayhem, people had to work 3X harder in America than they did back home. While there was more opportunity in the states, not every promise turned to gold, and there was a lot of crime. More than ever, you had to know who your friends were, and no matter where you wandered, you were always worried about your family’s safety.

In Hamilton’s first act, theater-goers enjoy “My Shot,” which brings to life the newly emerging idea that America can be much more than it is. It’s a powerful song filled with hope, aggression, and dangerous ideas, fueled by a massive ego. This is where the play “Hamilton” and the real Alexander Hamilton part ways.

While it’s tough to fit every tidbit and theme into a biographical story, the play leaves out the aftermath of Hamilton’s vision – the greed, politics, maneuvering, cheating, stealing, and outright insanity of how the Federal Reserve came to be.

During his life, and in the years that have since followed, almost everyone has misquoted and misrepresented Hamilton’s ideology. Check out this quote from Alexander, which is often cut-off after the first sentence:

“The proper funding of the present debt, will render it a national blessing. The creation of debt should always be accompanied with the means of extinguishment.” — Alexander Hamilton

 

Every patriot, including all the Presidents, Senators, Congressmen, Congresswomen and state representatives that followed Washington and the founding Fathers and Mothers, began to depend on this newly fangled idea that “debt creates security and wealth.” This could not be farther from the truth.

While the musical immortalizes Hamilton’s brilliant financial and banking scheme, the reality is that debt inspires dependencies and secret, exclusive systems that oppress. In addition to the most conservative Republican politicians, the most liberal and conscious leaders of today have ideologies that are not in balance.

In an ideal federal debt system, there would be a conscious, non-salaried, non-incentivized, board of directors who were somehow forced to make decisions that would nurture all factions of society, not just the wealthy, and not solely the poor.

In the case of the United States, the saddest aspect of our system is that most people in power expect to be paid first, which has resulted in the faulty trickle-down system in place today. By the time Hamilton created The First Bank of the United States, greed had already dismantled his original ideology and turned it into a hierarchical system of debt as the oppressor.

Hamilton is powerful, but it skimps on the levels of eternal greed born from Hamilton’s ideology.

Fast-forward to today, and it appears we’re in trouble.

Is our untended debt Hamilton’s fault? Maybe.

 

During the Revolutionary War, the emerging United States was accruing huge debt. Including foreign, domestic, and the newly acquired state debts, the United States owed $80 million, mostly born from the upkeep of the Continental Army.

While he was clearly defiant against the Royal Family’s history of control of the colonies, when he became the first Secretary of The U.S. Treasury, Hamilton created a kingly position for himself. For a time, he had exclusive management of the U.S. government’s finances.

“No one really knows how the game is played. The art of the trade, how the sausage gets made. We just assume that it happens, but no one else is in The room where it happens.” — Aaron Burr in Hamilton

Acting quickly, and getting more than he gave, Hamilton negotiated for the establishment of the “Bank of the United States,” which included the promised plan to expand the U.S. government’s fiscal and monetary power, and the creation of a federal mint, along with a drastic increase in excise taxes. While it appeared that all states would greatly benefit, this new system initiated the north-south divide that would eventually lead to civil war.

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At the time, the astute representative from Massachusetts, Fisher Ames, claimed, “A debt-compelling government is no remedy to men who have lands and negroes, and debts and luxury.” Somehow Ames was able to see the dangers in unchecked debt.

Hamilton had substantial opposition in his quest, including James Madison and Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson argued that the enumerated powers of the federal constitution did not permit the creation of such extraordinary debt, especially absorbing every state’s debt (without limits,) or the creation of a federal bank.

“This financial plan is an outrageous demand, and it’s too many damn pages for any man to understand … Stand with me in the land of the free. Look, when Britain taxed our tea, we got frisky. Imagine what gonna happen when you try to tax our whiskey.” —  The character of Thomas Jefferson in Hamilton

Jefferson wrote passionately to Washington stating that this type of bank “represented a boundless field of power and constitutional overreach.”

While we might never know what would have occurred had the U.S. continued to solely borrow money from other countries, today’s trends in government and personal debt, financing and fiscal responsibility are not looking very positive.

Check these out:

  • American’s are overburdened by debt, which collectively has hit $13.3 Trillion. Even the country’s debt is at $22 Trillion

  • The Federal Reserve reports that the average American has $38K in personal debt, which includes credit cards, auto loans, student loans and personal loans.

  • 28% of all Americans have more debt than savings.

  • 20% of Americans spend 50%-100% of their monthly income on debt repayment.

  • In a conscious effort to divide the country and marginalize America’s most pained and oppressed citizens, the President speaks with xenophobic rhetoric, reminiscent of an 1800’s Southern Plantation Owner.

  • Given all the personal debt in the United States, it would make sense that the government would place pricing limits in a handful of sectors. For example, pharmaceutical companies like GlaxoSmithKline, Johnson & Johnson (J&J), Merck & Co Inc, F. Hoffmann-La Roche Ltd, Novartis, and the #1 beast Pfizer Inc, all continue to rape the public with inhumane prices on medicines that should be free.

Given all the hooplah over the remarkable musical, “Hamilton,” the play’s program should come with a mandatory debt-management class immediately following the show.

Before You Relinquish Your Ego, Relish It

ego

Love your ego before you toss it. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

When I first met Dr. Vasant Lad, he had just arrived in Cambridge, MA from India. One of the most beloved authorities within all of Ayurvedic medicine, Dr. Lad is a loving healer and deeply inspiring oracle.

We sat on pillows in a tiny room where Vasant told me that I was tridoshic. He prescribed some herbs, mantras, and meditations, and he encouraged me to look deeper into my spiritual gifts. Moments later, he directed me to tell my best friend where her engagement ring was situated. He had known me for 2 minutes. The ring was behind the night table.

When we truly relinquish our egos, or, at the very least, nudge them aside, we begin to see beyond our limited, temporary self-identities, and into eternity. This miracle is always available to every living Being, throughout all the realms, in all of creation, and throughout all the universes.

Dr. Lad’s intuition and light-based nature is the result of years of having chosen to relinquish his ego, in service to humanity. While Vasant’s state of Being is admirable and exemplary, It’s not easy to expand, without first being thrust into a variety of fires. Some of these fires are more enjoyable than others.

When I first asked Dr. Lad why my ego was so challenging to wrestle and release, he said, “The ego is the I am. Without the ego, you are not.”

I cried for an hour.

No other spiritual teacher had phrased this idea so succinctly. Everything he said to me that night was so wonderfully simple, precise, and relatable. Dr. Lad set me on a unique path, and I was forever changed.

Some new-age “prophets” can be so intensely focused on the relinquishing of ego, they fail to reveal the implications of giving up something we may have never known.

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If each of our soul identities and spiritual imprints is at least partially represented in our egos (for the purpose of our experiencing three-dimensional reality), how can we evolve without first embracing our egos, at least for a period of time?

After all, whether it was Gods, aliens, or biochemical explosions from other realms, each of us is unique and remarkable.

When we fully embrace our egos, we might understand our motivations, intentions, gifts, talents, and attributes. In the pursuit of these understandings, we might also experience an expanded appreciation for the mechanics and infrastructures of this physical world. In doing so, we begin to deepen our respect and gratitude for every cog, player, mechanic, operator, assistant, and creator who works to bring our physical realities to life.

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Throughout time, there have been multitudes of religions and spiritual movements that sought to mislead millions of people.

In many cases, dark souls with selfish intentions intentionally misrepresented the masters they once followed, all in the name of greed and control. The result of this misuse of power resulted in the manipulation of the masses and included theft, rape, and abuse of the Earth’s most vulnerable minerals, plants, and living Beings. At their best, religions and spiritual movements give us lexicons and pause, while they relegate us to confined intellectual and spiritual prisons.

What is the ego?

The ego is your platform for evolution. It’s your calling card. The ego is how the world uses you to evolve itself. Your ego was born to help creation give birth to more light. Allow the ego to enjoy itself. Allow its imperfections. Permit it to explore itself. In that journey, we learn how to see ourselves more clearly, relate with others, forgive flaws, and make our boldest moves.

Yes, you are most likely imperfect, but only perfectly. Within your unique imperfections live desires, emotional curiosities, and the trajectories that will lead you through your individual unfoldment. Find safe ways to let it all live and let it all out. While the truth will set you free, you first have to allow yourself, as you are right now, to be part of that truth.

Many of today’s religious fanatics and spiritual phonies are living from narcissistic self-identities, behind which they hide.

From their self-righteous perches, too many spiritual leaders hate LGBTQ people, judge angry men, and resent masculine constructs, even the ones that produce safe environments, jobs, and sustenance for their families. It’s from these narrow-minded positions that misguided souls also judge themselves.

The tragedies don’t stop there. With each of their judgmental thoughts comes a myriad of negative frequencies and vibrational elements, which then attach to the individual. These attachments act as magnets for experiences that will naturally confront these individuals with their shadows. With each problematic experience that emerges, we have the option to either evolve or seek more of the same.

How does this all relate to me? What does all this mean?

  • If you’re an angry man, begin by honoring your anger, then nudge it toward sadness, which is the most accurate state of anger. When you’re ready, see if you can convert your tears into actionable boundaries, knowledge, and strategies. This is how you can improve your life and serve your family.
  • If you have deep-seated issues stemming from abuse, first honor hour anger, and see if you can express it healthfully and without hurting others. Following that, if possible, try to convert it into knowledge, forgiveness, and grace. Work through every aspect of every emotion related to this horrible event. While this is unfathomably difficult, there is always a pathway to love and light.
  • If you’ve been screwed-over in life, love, or business, find ways to honor and release the related emotions. From there, you can invite forgiveness, knowledge, graciousness, and rebirth. If that fails, regularly write in your journal until your current self-identity breaks and allows for change.
  • If you feel drenched in ego and greed, be gentle with yourself before ripping open walls and terminating the structures that have served you.

Upon each painful experience, we have two options:

Rot in pain or burst toward the light.

Regardless of what you’ve experienced, never new-age yourself out of your feelings. Never Buddhify your pain. Never forsake yourself. Even if you have to forget Jesus’s teachings for a split second, never reject the YOU that you’ve come to know and love. Never push yourself out of the way. If our selves are not involved in every step, we’ll eventually regret it.

Most importantly, after each negative experience, honor your mind and heart as they process what has happened. From there, you can forgive, let go, pivot, and expand. Over time, negative experiences begin to feel like encouragement.

When you’re ready, you can re-embrace your ideologies, religions, and spiritual movements. At their cores, these things are not bad for humanity. The trouble begins when spiritual leaders and teachers tell us to forsake ourselves before first honoring ourselves. After all, we are created by an unlimited, forgiving, and ever-expanding universe.

To save ourselves and the planet, consider pausing before spreading a doctrine or religion. It might also be helpful to learn to love and honor ourselves before relinquishing every aspect of our identities and lives.

Before we toss anger out the window in self-judgment, we might want to experience the anger and learn more about it. In all things, we must first look in the mirror and love without threatening punishment. From there, we can make conscious and fair assessments. Embedded in the bosom of love, we can nurture ourselves into forgiveness and expansion.

Harvard Meditation Study: Resilience, Tummo, And Inner Peace

Harvard Meditation Study

Tummo is the rage, Harvard Meditation Study. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

Long before Harvard’s recent studies on meditation and mindfulness, the science around the subject has been disputed. Regardless, meditation lovers, mindfulness experts, monks, and prayerful people of all types regularly report a variety of benefits resulting from these practices.​

Whether avid meditators or not, most of us have reported positive experiences when meditating. Benefits include stress reduction, feeling more peaceful, feeling better about ourselves, feeling less judgmental, and improved relationships and creativity.

“Surrender To What Is. Let Go Of What Was. Have Faith In What Will Be.”
— Sonia Ricotti

Many couples who meditate together during Harvard Meditation study, report feelings of deepening and connectedness that were not present before meditation. Teachers who introduce meditation to their students find that everyone has better attention spans and the majority tend to get along better.

Many doctors report that mindfulness techniques and positive visualizations help to calm their patients. Some doctors have said that regimens of meditation have improved conditions associated with irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, psoriasis, anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Meditation and mindfulness are taught and practiced by prisons, sports teams, and even the U.S. military to improve resilience, clarity, presence of mind, and feelings of connectedness.​
Also, the vast majority of meditation studies have shown that meditators tend to experience regular states of selflessness and emotional clarity.

“The Real Meditation Is How You Live Your Life.”
— Jon Kabat-Zinn

The Science Of Meditation

Traditionally, meditation and mindfulness studies have been poorly designed and executed. Of the over 400 clinical trials aimed at determining the benefits of meditation between 1956 and 2005, only 10% were constructed from quality theoretical perspectives and methodologies. This included studies by the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH) and the American Heart Association.

When it comes to happiness and emotional well-being, some studies show that people who meditate have higher levels of happiness than control groups. Similar studies have shown that people who meditate for 20 minutes per day have higher levels of happiness than those who rested for 20 minutes per day. The challenge with these types of results is that they haven’t included data related to meditators being better at self-care than non-meditators.

“The Present Moment Is Filled With Joy And Happiness.
If You Are Attentive, You Will See It.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh

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The Harvard Study On Meditation And Mindfulness

A neuroscientist at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital, Sara Lazar, sought to explore the benefits of meditation and mindfulness via brain scans while doing Harvard Meditation study.
What did she learn? Meditation and similar practices can improve, expand, and change your brain. Lazar’s findings of meditators were profound:

  • Over time, their senses become enhanced.
  • With regular meditation, they experience improved executive decision making. Whether younger or older, participants have shown increased gray matter in the prefrontal cortex.
  • The brains of new meditators thickened after eight weeks in the areas of the brain that cater to self-relevance, learning, cognition, memory, emotional regulation, adopting perspectives, empathy, compassion, and the production of regulatory neurotransmitters.
  • The areas of the brains of new mediators related to anxiety, fear, and stress became smaller over time.

While there isn’t robust data about how much and how long someone must meditate to achieve benefits like these, Lazar said that meditators would probably need to practice at least a couple of days per week, at an average of 30 minutes per day. That said, there is no definitive scientific data in this area.

Tummo Meditation

While meditation science has been unable to prove every benefit for every niche and category, Tibetan Monks and Himalayan yogis have been meditating for centuries, and with consistent, miraculous results. Tummo Meditation, (gTum-mo in Tibetan, or g-Tummo), which translates to “inner fire,” is regularly taught and practiced by Tibetan Buddhists throughout the world.

Wrapped in cold, wet sheets, Himalayan monks can heat their bodies through Tummo meditation, and in the process, dry the wet sheets. This astounding ability has kept academics, doctors and regular folks stupefied for over a century. Truly, Tummo meditation is the holy grail of meditation neuroscience.

This ancient technique combines meditative breathing with visualization and results in a deep state of inward connection. Monks report being able to increase and control the heat in their bodies.

While their body temperatures rise during the meditation, they can transfer the resulting heat to any organ or extremity, including their scalps, hearts, kidneys, fingers, and toes.​Tummo meditators report a variety of benefits, including improved concentration, memory, and mental clarity; improved breathing, including the depth of breaths; improved lung and heart health; improved confidence; and of course, improved control over the body’s heat.

Given all this, meditation should be a no-brainer, right? RIGHT!.  

How To Tummo

The purpose of Tummo is to reach a high yoga tantra (or state) and gain control over the body’s processes.
Here are the steps to achieving Tummo Meditation and the psychic control of your body’s heat:

  1. Sit comfortably, with your back straight; cross-legged is ideal.
  2. Imagine your spirit’s kundalini (channel) “tube” up and down your spine.
  3. Imagine that each nostril is a tube connected to your kundalini tube.
  4. Imagine your body being hollow, sacred, and filled with light.
  5. Visualize a hot ball of fire inside of your body, around the belly-button.
  6. Focus on your breath and inhale slowly.
  7. Imagine each breath to feed your fireball of light, making it hotter and hotter.
  8. Imagine that your fireball is safe and healing, continuing to feed it with the breath.
  9. Try to hold each breath for 10-30 seconds, then exhale.
  10. You can repeat this breathing process for up to 30 minutes.

“What Day Is It?” Asked Pooh. “It’s Today,” Squeaked Piglet.

“My Favourite Day,” Said Pooh.

— A.A. Milne

Types Of Meditation And Mindfulness

Meditation can take many forms. Some meditate on their breath. Others find that mantras and tones are helpful when attempting to detach from the mind and be fully in the present moment.
Here are a few types of meditation that you might find helpful.
Mindfulness Meditation (Also Breath Meditation)

  1. Sit comfortably with your back straightbook-live-intuitive-reading-with-paul-wagner
  2. Focus on your breath and how it moves in and out of your body. Feel the sensations in your lungs, chest, and belly. Notice the air as it enters your nose and mouth. Pay attention to your breath as it leaves your body.
  3. Allow thoughts to come and go. Become the watcher of your thoughts, whether they are based in happiness, hope or anxiety. Simply allow them to be and then let them go. Remain calm as you feel the results of your thoughts. Refrain from suppressing or ignoring them. Over time, your thoughts will naturally bubble up and disappear at will.
  4. Without judging yourself, allow your mind to wander or get carried off into a thought-path. When this happens, effortlessly return your focus to your breath. Throughout the process, be gentle with yourself.
  5. When you experience a period of peacefulness, try to maintain it.
  6. When the time feels right, bring your meditation to a close. As you come out of the meditation, sit quietly for some time. Become aware of who you are in the moment, and where you are. Be gentle with yourself as you return to the present moment.
  7. When it feels right to you, stand up and carry on with your day.

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Mantra Or Tone Meditation

Start with 5 minutes each morning and try to increase the length of time every day.

  1. Once you’re seated comfortably, either in a chair or in lotus position on the floor, choose a mantra or tone for inhaling and exhaling.
  2. As you inhale, silently chant the tone “Maaaaa” in your mind.
  3. As you exhale, silently chant the tone “Ommmmm” in your mind.
  4. Throughout the meditation, allow your attention to return to these tones continually.
  5. When we tone within our minds, we dissolve our mental chatter and bring healing vibrations to our brains, hearts, and bodies. 

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Meditation In Action

Whether we are exercising, walking, or doing the dishes, an activity can quickly become a meditation. Focus on your feet pressing against the earth or your hands stretching out as they touch a tree. Bring your attention to the activity, without judgment, anticipation, or stress. See things as they really are, without trying to reduce them to something else. Bring your mind’s attention to the resulting sensations within each activity.

This type of meditation allows us to detach from our minds and identities, and immerse ourselves in the spirit of the action. Throughout the process, we experience moments of liberation.

There are many types of meditation. You might consider studying the true nature of reality through Vipassana Meditation, a 10-day silent retreat.

Research what feels best to you and try to build meditation into your daily habits and routines.

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Ongoing Scientific Efforts

Research perspectives and methodologies aimed at proving the benefits of meditation and mindfulness have drastically improved.​
Thankfully, an ongoing effort in this area is occurring at a variety of universities and hospitals, including, but certainly not limited to:

  • Massachusetts General Hospital’s Benson-Henry Institute
  • Brigham and Women’s Hospital’s Osher Center for Integrative Medicine
  • The Cambridge Health Alliance
  • Harvard University
  • The Mindfulness Research Collaborative
  • University of Vermont
  • University of Miami
  • Georgetown University
  • Stanford Center for Integrative Medicine
  • Global Center for Academic and Spiritual Life
  • Many other institutions and organizations

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Mindfulness Leaders

Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Tibetan Buddhist monk, taught thousands of people how to meditate. Jon Kabat-Zinn, his worthy student, memorialized those teachings in a variety of profound books on the subject, including “Wherever You Go, There You Are,” “Mindfulness For Beginners,” and “Meditation is Not What You Think.”

Jon Kabat-Zinn is the founder of MBSR (mindfulness-based stress reduction) and the creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

New-Age Narcissists: How To Spot & Avoid Them

Narcissists

Gotta love the wacky, new-agers and other narcissists – or not. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

When traveling in new-age circles, it’s easy to spot the most real and wonderful people. They’re usually the ones not wearing white or purple, standing separate from the chatty, spiritually-chic sheep, and looking somewhat uncomfortable. They might even wear a frown.

New-Age Narcissists: OMG! QUE TERRIBLE, HIJA!

When the New-Age scene first blossomed, I met hundreds of high-quality human beings, deep thinkers, empathic feelers, and intuitive, sensing, light-workers. It was as if the new-age movement had inspired them to venture outside their secret, divine caves for the first time in their lives.

These fascinating people had been waiting for a chance to commune and network with others of like-mind. As powerful and brilliant innovators, they weren’t following a trend and they weren’t obsessed with themselves. They were genuine originals who had clean intentions, infused with integrity. They all shared a sincere desire to connect, heal others, and expand.

Those were the best days and I miss them. What was once the pursuit of truth has become an addition to spiritual-botox.

Now, I see more ego-drenched selfies at new-age events than I do at global television and marketing symposiums. With all the posturing and pretending, spiritual authenticity has almost disappeared in the new-age scene.

Transparency is no longer about being open and lucid, it’s become a trendy, dark art used to color perception and deceive the self. It’s no longer about dissolving the ego, it’s now about how you can construct an ego-based on marketable principles.

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Part of the problem is our addiction to spiritual-porn. You know, all those hip, warm-fuzzy images in our newsfeeds that tell us that we’re Gods and Goddesses. These images encourage us to deny our shadows, which, in turn, causes us to deny half of our humanity, which we then replace with fantasy.

We use these spiritually materialistic images and sound bites to nurture false beliefs about ourselves, which causes us to avoid doing the real work. Truth be told, the real work, while sometimes painful, is both exciting and liberating.

Let’s get back to basics:

  • If we live within and sell a contrived identity, we’re missing the point. The idea is to cleanse the ego of false identities. Die to the ego, don’t glorify it. The path is about embracing the raw, gritty human being, not the false spiritual emblem that you might (temporarily) want to become.

  • If we avoid our feelings, or are unable to hear and accept the feelings of others, we’re either not truly interested in the other person, or we’ve yet to accept ourselves for who we are. Viral or not, emotions are aspects of our humanity, integrate to relating with others, and part of every equation.

  • Not all yoga classes are vibrationally uplifting or even spiritual. Many of them are no more enlightening than exercise, taught by marketers, not yogis. Just because the teacher wears a mala, dhoti, and bindi, and occasionally burps in Sanskrit, doesn’t mean that he or she has any idea how to integrate profound yogic truths into a conscious and transformative curriculum.

  • The new-age is a collective of confused people who are obsessed with derivative spiritual tidbits and immediate gratification. This is neither good nor bad, but it’s probably not good. “New-age,” while once the embodiment of an enlightening ethos and community, is now a catch-all for non-committal, spiritual dabblers who prefer fashionable, feel-good tag lines and spiritual materialism to substance.

I had the immense anti-pleasure of being in business with a local, new-age fakir. She said all the right things, wore the perfect clothes, and then completely disappeared. She lied and stole money from me, pretending that signed agreements are merely suggestions.

Betrayal is a bitch, but it’s also one of the greatest teachers.

At the time, I was ashamed of my love for her and my naiveté, but eventually realized that people who don’t relish commitment and accountability probably don’t love, respect, or understand themselves.

The most important thing I learned is that I must have had garbage remnants of new-age residue inside of me, otherwise, I wouldn’t have attracted a flaky, new-age freak into my life. Her choice to dishonor our relationship pulled a thorn from my spirit.

New-age narcissists are different from regular narcissists because they use flowery language connected to a deity, Guru, or spiritual discipline. This puts them in the “Dangerous” category. Because they reference the Gods, even their shallow projections and brain farts can become alluring, potent propositions.

Some new-agers are so adept at misrepresentation and sexy-spiritual enticement, they’re one decision from becoming prostitutes.

How to Spot a New-Age Narcissist

  • New-age narcissists hate confrontation because it reminds them of how much they’ve been avoiding themselves.

  • New-agers might dislike it when you’re angry with them because it antagonizes their delusions around reality and dreams of being spiritually perfect. If you’re upset with a new-ager, they will avoid you at all costs or place all the blame on you. This is because they only look at the pretty mirrors, not the real ones.

  • Because they often believe themselves to be living angels, they wear perfect spiritually-styled clothing to every meeting and gathering. These spiritual wolves usually have the cash to afford the most divine wardrobes.

  • Listen for warm and chic spiritual language as they describe their lives and choices, while never owning their shortcomings.

  • In business, they’ll use loose commitment language and make assumptions about how things will magically happen vs doing the work required to make things happen.

  • They sometimes describe their fears and how much they are working toward addressing them. Imagine if they put all that self-focus into rolling up their sleeves and getting to work. They love to hear themselves talk about their feelings, so we can track their fascinating progress. Sharing your feelings is healthy, but sharing your feelings all the time is f*cked-up.

  • Their personal mythologies are ridden with stories of horrible, oppressive people in their lives who “hurt” them, and who are not living according to spiritual principles that serve only them.

  • Their social feeds often feature a multitude of selfies with yoga instructors and spiritual teachers, and with backgrounds that highlight temples, ashrams and popular spiritual sites, ya know, like their bedrooms.

New-agers don’t like

to make scheduled plans

because a busy schedule

can interrupt

their magical,

spontaneous,

self-indulgent,

mermaid

lives.

 

How to Protect Your Life from New-age Narcissists

  • Listen for how often the person shares his or her feelings. If it’s every time you get together for 15 minutes, and about every aspect of their lives, they might be self-absorbed, which could easily tip toward narcissism.

  • If they avoid anger and resent your anger, with regard to any situation, it’s possible that they are unable to see themselves clearly, and unwilling to grow beyond their limited, shiny public persona.

  • If they hurt you in business, get a lawyer, and threaten them. Some new-agers are spineless wimps who fear commitment, structure, and accountability. A lawyer will make a new-age narcissist sweat. It’s nice when these jack-offs are forced to hire lawyers to respond to you, because it means they finally had to spend money on something other than Goddess and Ganesha t-shirts.

  • If they hurt you in love, make note of the ways in which you were narcissistic or self-absorbed, and how you allowed them to inflame your ego. In other words, look at your own self-obsession. It might be time to let it go.

  • The most important thing you can do when screwed by a new-age narcissist is to educate them about their hypocrisy. Call them out on every aspect of their behavior, self-obsession, and dishonesty.

  • Given that these white-light addicts tend to hide behind contrived identities, calling them on their bullsh*t will be helpful to them (and you). To make sure they hear you, you might consider using the same shallow spiritual lingo that they use. Most new-age narcissists are akin to bullies. If you stand up to them, they eventually stop wanting to hurt you and others.

  • Reach out to mutual friends and tell them about your experiences. There’s a good chance they’ve done this before and possibly to someone close to you. Sharing your story might help others heal.

  • Finally, delete the new-age vampire’s contact information and never engage with them again.

  • If they muster up an apology, accept it with all of your heart. It’s awesome when knuckleheads wake up.

Be genuine in responses. Step beyond passive spirituality and stand in your personal power. Passivity is not spiritual. It’s a cop-out.

Be authentic. Speak your truth. Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Move on.

Your new mantra:

“I want powerful, loving, honest, responsive people in my life.

I embrace commitment, accountability, and authenticity.

Within all my endeavors, I seek clarity, consciousness,

and a healthy reciprocity. In all things, I seek the truth.”

How to Disentangle from Karmic Relationships

Karmic relationships

Karmic relationships can be transformed. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

We’ve all had at least one relationship that’s threatened our personal power. We may have become so entrenched, we could no longer speak-up or stand-up for ourselves. Sadly, when this friend, lover or family member invited us into their wacky world, we went willingly—and we stayed. Unaware, we left ourselves unprotected and were subject to a twisted reality, which we began to perpetuate and co-create.

When I say “intense,” I’m referring to the self-centered, dramatic people in our lives who expect us to give to them in ways they don’t even give to themselves.

It might appear that the other person is playing a game with our hearts, disabling our abilities to see ourselves and the relationships clearly.

Karmic Relationships: Who am I talking about?

The most problematic people are the ones who regularly chip away at our truth, time, self-esteem, and emotional well-being. Instead of lovingly lifting us up, they hold our heads slightly beneath the water’s surface so we can’t speak or breathe. This hurtful treatment further compounds the dynamic, as well as our misery. This is one of the craziest and karmic relationship.

Human beings have been naturally attracted to egoistic spectacles for centuries. We’ve loved melodrama in our celebrities and long-enabled it in our families. We’ve actively sought it out in friendships, romance and business. We have been eternally attracted to relationships with kooky, intense people.

Fortunately, we can kick them out at any time.

Sensational melodrama can be fun for a while, as it often invites fascinating experiences. While it usually requires that we endure discomfort and disruption, madness usually comes with gifts and surprises too, like 5-star adventures, refreshing spontaneity and hourly oral sex.

How do we put a stop to something

that sometimes balances out to awesome?

More importantly, why would we want to?

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Although mania has value, the problems begin when mania is at the helm. During those times, we don’t realize how much we’re neglecting the other parts of our souls and lives. As we gaze at the world wearing kooky-colored glasses, we have limited awareness of how f*cked up the rest of our commitments and relationships have become.

Craziness and melodrama are drugs akin to sugar, cocaine, and greed. They’re addictive and dangerous. We might think we’re enjoying a relationship with a phenomenon, but just like any activity that subverts our value, copulating with Ms. Kooky or Mr. Crazy is nothing but self-sacrificial.

Our introduction to egocentricity often comes from our siblings, parents, and family circumstances. Unknowingly, we recreate situations related to our upbringing. That said, even though we’re born into madness, it doesn’t mean we have to stay there.

It’s okay to have a little crazy-intelligence in the house, but if the dynamics continually create roller-coasters, it might be time to ask, “What the f*ck am I doing here?” and “What am I getting out of this?”

book-live-intuitive-reading-with-paul-wagner

When crazy-intelligence is healthy, it pushes us to think outside the box, inspires us to plan wonderful events, and helps us conjure mind-blowing ideas. When crazy-intelligence is our friend, it builds bridges, enhances our lives, and improves our self-worth. But if untenable craziness dominates, it’s nothing more than a beautifully-decorated weapon that we empower to bring us down.

Weaning off of melodrama can be a nightmare. It requires being honest about what we want and what truly makes us happy. It requires a great deal of self-reflection and letting go.

The process of absolving ourselves from someone else’s egocentricity and melodrama will bring up anger, sadness, guilt, and shame. It can get really messy in such a karmic relationship. If we’re successful, it’ll inspire tough-mindedness, the ability to confront others, and the desire to continue making and sticking to proactive changes in our lives. If we’re not successful, we’ll compound our challenges and put ourselves at further risk.

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When we’ve enrolled ourselves in someone else’s chaos,

we lose touch with what brings us peace.

In the midst of mayhem,

we forget how to nurture our hearts

and defend our life-vision.

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If you’ve been eating at the kooky, karma table and desire a rebirth from Karmic Relationships, follow this plan:

  1. Make note of the things you’ve learned from all the drama: the good, the bad, and the super f*cked-up. Celebrate the lessons and be grateful.

  2. Make a list of the wonderful things and people in your life, then fill your schedule with them.

  3. Before you add something new to your life, ask yourself, “Will this person or event enhance my happiness, awareness, and life-conditions, or will he or she detract from them?”

  4. Say goodbye to the egocentricity and imbalance, either in-person, phone, text, or via a loving friend who’s willing to take a bullet for you. It can be a sentence, book, video, or one-person play. Just get ‘er done.

  5. Never look back. Ever.

If we can enjoy the unpredictable drama in our lives and then use it for our evolution, maybe we’ve mastered it. For the rest of us, saying goodbye to Ms. Kooky or Mr. Crazy is the moment when our lives begin.