What if the very thing you believe is holding your life together is actually keeping you from being truly free? I’m talking about relationship codependency – an all-too common part of relationships, work, and everyday life. 

Many of us are (consciously or subconsciously) afraid of releasing our codependent patterns because doing so can change everything. In fact, our lives can transform to such a degree that they may become unrecognizable – at least at first. This can feel scary and uncomfortable initially. 

And yet, this transformation is exactly what is needed to bring you closer to true spiritual, emotional and psychological liberation. When you lean into the process of letting go of your codependent patterns in relationships, what emerges is greater clarity and empowerment for everyone involved.

Before we look at the process of releasing codependency, let’s define what it actually means.

What is Codependency?

Codependency is a deeply ingrained pattern of emotional or psychological reliance on other people. It manifests when you attach your sense of self to the needs, reactions and expectations of others.

From a spiritual point of view, codependent patterns are a misalignment with your true Self. When you hold onto your need for approval from others, it clouds your ability to see your own worth and it blocks you from pursuing anything that might lose you approval. 

Breaking free from codependency isn’t just about setting boundaries – it’s about seeing your Self as it truly is. Not in comparison to others. Not as a reflection of your role in their lives. But as your true, divine, liberated Self. 

Am I Codependent? Some Signs and Symptoms to Look out For

If you’re wondering whether you have codependent patterns, here are some signs to look out for:

• You struggle to say no and set boundaries.
• You consistently prioritize other people’s needs over your own depriving yourself of what you need.
• You often fret over what other people think about you.
• You find yourself carrying other people’s baggage.
• You limit yourself so that others can feel comfortable.
• You fear that truly being yourself will lead to losing relationships.
• You are afraid to express yourself for fear of rocking the boat
• You are worrying and obsessing about other people’s emotions and thoughts
• You expect that others will take care of you or save you 

You may experience some of these more prominently than others, or only some of these. The above can be relevant for romantic relationships, friendships, business partnerships and even your relationships with clients and customers. Do you resonate with any of these?

What Causes Codependency?

The truth is that everyone is codependent to a certain degree. It is a natural result of our childhoods, during which we live in family units in which we are entangled with each other and dependent on each other. Social and cultural norms also tend to encourage codependent relating. Most people tend to look to others for validation and hold expectations for others in their engagements.

However, various forms of abuse, including emotional neglect, emotional, physical, verbal and sexual abuse, can cause co-dependence to be a predominant pattern in our relating and even a debilitating one.

Growing up in toxic environments leads you to create coping patterns in order to deal with the reality around you. If you grew up in a family where love felt conditional, you may have learned to earn love by being useful or pleasing to others around you. 

Without the deep work to release these coping mechanisms (so that we can engage in true Self-expression) these patterns can last a lifetime. 

The Fear of Letting Go of Codependency

The idea of letting go of codependent patterns can trigger a lot of fear. These fears can look like thoughts such as:

• If I am truly myself, will others still love me?
• What if setting boundaries causes me to lose important relationships?
• If I try to negotiate better terms in an agreement, will I jeopardise my relationships? 

These fears are normal, but they are illusions. At the core of these fears is a conviction that you depend on others, and without them you won’t make it. 

When you release codependency from your life, everything becomes more clear. Letting go of codependent patterns means choosing yourself. And when you choose yourself, you empower others to do the same. This leads to interdependent relationships, with each participant showing up as their true liberated Self.

Letting go of codependency clears the emotional and energetic blockages that once held back your self-esteem, success and ability to be truly effective.

So yes, things will change. But they will change for the better.

Some people in your life will leave, and others will adjust. 

What Happens When You Release Codependency?

When you relinquish codependency:

• You stop carrying other people’s baggage.
• You stop living in accordance with other people’s jealousy.
• You begin to reject other people’s limiting projections on you.
• You no longer worry about what other people think about you.
• You stop limiting yourself so that others feel comfortable.
• You stop blaming yourself for other people’s failures and deceit.
• You stop falling when others fall. You stop failing, overall.

When you let go of codependency, you up-level our entire ecosystem. And this doesn’t just affect you as an individual. When you choose to walk the path towards true liberation, the whole Universe benefits.

In truth, you cannot know what this liberation will give you until you decide to pursue it. Codependency can block us in untold ways, making us play small in many respects in our lives. 

What Does It Mean to be Liberated?

Liberation is the release of your limiting attachments to your beliefs, emotions, relationships, identities, and the illusions they create. It extinguishes your addictions to codependence and your need for approval from others, leading to a resilient Self-identity. 

Liberation means coming home to who You truly are, as a Divine being.

In the process of liberating yourself, the Universe honors who you have become and are becoming. In doing so, your relationships will either up-level or dissolve. 

Relationships based on toxic or outdated patterns begin to evaporate into the horizon, much like any dream.

The Universe always aligns us with people and events that match with our evolving identity and energy. There is no need to worry about our relationships – they will shift as we grow.

As we walk the path of liberation, everything eventually falls into place, in its own time. It’s like a road trip – you can’t venture to Vancouver without a vehicle. And the pursuit of transcendent liberation is the vehicle for the up-leveling of your life. It’s the only vehicle that will get you to the ultimate destination – the truth of your real Self, of the divinity that resides within you.

Eventually, the concept of maintaining relationships becomes superfluous, because we start to realise that our primary relationship is not with any individual.

It’s with the Universe.

Liberation begins with a deeper understanding of our circumstances, needs and potential. If you need guidance to transform your relationships or other life circumstances, I would be honored to support you. You can book a private virtual reading with me here. 

What if the very thing you believe is holding your life together is actually keeping you from being truly free? I’m talking about relationship codependency – an all-too common part of relationships, work, and everyday life. 

Many of us are (consciously or subconsciously) afraid of releasing our codependent patterns because doing so can change everything. In fact, our lives can transform to such a degree that they may become unrecognizable – at least at first. This can feel scary and uncomfortable initially. 

And yet, this transformation is exactly what is needed to bring you closer to true spiritual, emotional and psychological liberation. When you lean into the process of letting go of your codependent patterns in relationships, what emerges is greater clarity and empowerment for everyone involved.

Before we look at the process of releasing codependency, let’s define what it actually means.

What is Codependency?

Codependency is a deeply ingrained pattern of emotional or psychological reliance on other people. It manifests when you attach your sense of self to the needs, reactions and expectations of others.

From a spiritual point of view, codependent patterns are a misalignment with your true Self. When you hold onto your need for approval from others, it clouds your ability to see your own worth and it blocks you from pursuing anything that might lose you approval. 

Breaking free from codependency isn’t just about setting boundaries – it’s about seeing your Self as it truly is. Not in comparison to others. Not as a reflection of your role in their lives. But as your true, divine, liberated Self. 

Am I Codependent? Some Signs and Symptoms to Look out For

If you’re wondering whether you have codependent patterns, here are some signs to look out for:

• You struggle to say no and set boundaries.
• You consistently prioritize other people’s needs over your own depriving yourself of what you need.
• You often fret over what other people think about you.
• You find yourself carrying other people’s baggage.
• You limit yourself so that others can feel comfortable.
• You fear that truly being yourself will lead to losing relationships.
• You are afraid to express yourself for fear of rocking the boat
• You are worrying and obsessing about other people’s emotions and thoughts
• You expect that others will take care of you or save you 

You may experience some of these more prominently than others, or only some of these. The above can be relevant for romantic relationships, friendships, business partnerships and even your relationships with clients and customers. Do you resonate with any of these?

What Causes Codependency?

The truth is that everyone is codependent to a certain degree. It is a natural result of our childhoods, during which we live in family units in which we are entangled with each other and dependent on each other. Social and cultural norms also tend to encourage codependent relating. Most people tend to look to others for validation and hold expectations for others in their engagements.

However, various forms of abuse, including emotional neglect, emotional, physical, verbal and sexual abuse, can cause co-dependence to be a predominant pattern in our relating and even a debilitating one.

Growing up in toxic environments leads you to create coping patterns in order to deal with the reality around you. If you grew up in a family where love felt conditional, you may have learned to earn love by being useful or pleasing to others around you. 

Without the deep work to release these coping mechanisms (so that we can engage in true Self-expression) these patterns can last a lifetime. 

The Fear of Letting Go of Codependency

The idea of letting go of codependent patterns can trigger a lot of fear. These fears can look like thoughts such as:

• If I am truly myself, will others still love me?
• What if setting boundaries causes me to lose important relationships?
• If I try to negotiate better terms in an agreement, will I jeopardise my relationships? 

These fears are normal, but they are illusions. At the core of these fears is a conviction that you depend on others, and without them you won’t make it. 

When you release codependency from your life, everything becomes more clear. Letting go of codependent patterns means choosing yourself. And when you choose yourself, you empower others to do the same. This leads to interdependent relationships, with each participant showing up as their true liberated Self.

Letting go of codependency clears the emotional and energetic blockages that once held back your self-esteem, success and ability to be truly effective.

So yes, things will change. But they will change for the better.

Some people in your life will leave, and others will adjust. 

What Happens When You Release Codependency?

When you relinquish codependency:

• You stop carrying other people’s baggage.
• You stop living in accordance with other people’s jealousy.
• You begin to reject other people’s limiting projections on you.
• You no longer worry about what other people think about you.
• You stop limiting yourself so that others feel comfortable.
• You stop blaming yourself for other people’s failures and deceit.
• You stop falling when others fall. You stop failing, overall.

When you let go of codependency, you up-level our entire ecosystem. And this doesn’t just affect you as an individual. When you choose to walk the path towards true liberation, the whole Universe benefits.

In truth, you cannot know what this liberation will give you until you decide to pursue it. Codependency can block us in untold ways, making us play small in many respects in our lives. 

What Does It Mean to be Liberated?

Liberation is the release of your limiting attachments to your beliefs, emotions, relationships, identities, and the illusions they create. It extinguishes your addictions to codependence and your need for approval from others, leading to a resilient Self-identity. 

Liberation means coming home to who You truly are, as a Divine being.

In the process of liberating yourself, the Universe honors who you have become and are becoming. In doing so, your relationships will either up-level or dissolve. 

Relationships based on toxic or outdated patterns begin to evaporate into the horizon, much like any dream.

The Universe always aligns us with people and events that match with our evolving identity and energy. There is no need to worry about our relationships – they will shift as we grow.

As we walk the path of liberation, everything eventually falls into place, in its own time. It’s like a road trip – you can’t venture to Vancouver without a vehicle. And the pursuit of transcendent liberation is the vehicle for the up-leveling of your life. It’s the only vehicle that will get you to the ultimate destination – the truth of your real Self, of the divinity that resides within you.

Eventually, the concept of maintaining relationships becomes superfluous, because we start to realise that our primary relationship is not with any individual.

It’s with the Universe.

Liberation begins with a deeper understanding of our circumstances, needs and potential. If you need guidance to transform your relationships or other life circumstances, I would be honored to support you. You can book a private virtual reading with me here.