Energy Vampires! What Are They & How Can We Protect Ourselves?

How to protect yourself from energy vampires

How to protect yourself from energy vampires

 

When people hear the word vampire, they think of Mary Shelly and her wild and haunting stories. There’s gore and darkness and a lot of really bad make-up! 

Truth be told, real vampires don’t go around drinking blood directly out of the spout, they sit across the table from you, look deep into your eyes, and drain the life out of you. Ehem, I mean, they draw energy from your vibration, potentially depleting your emotional and spiritual gold.

These sad folks are sometimes called “Emotional Vampires” or Narcissists. Make no mistake about it, attempting to have reciprocal relationships with these people can take a toll on your life, especially if you are unaware of the dynamics at play. 

 

You probably already know a Vampire.

According to Judith Orloff M.D., a practicing Psychologist in L.A., “… the biggest energy drain on my patients is relationships. Some relationships are positive and mood-elevating. Others can suck optimism and serenity right out of you.” 

Humans are social creatures. We love to hug, gather, and chit-chat. With the hope of another person filling our little gaps, we open ourselves up upon every chance at intimacy. We work together in large groups, meet for dinner and drinks, and immerse ourselves in complex family constructs. In the midst of it all, each of us is most certainly engaging or nurturing a vampire. Energy vampires can even be a spouse.

Has anybody you know repeatedly failed to deliver on promises? 

Have they made excuses and guilted you into doing their work for them? 

Maybe they only want to spend time with you when it’s convenient for them? 

In your moment of need, do they disappear?

When connecting with you, are they obsessed with their own needs and challenges? 

Is it all drama, all day, every day?

All of these folks might be feeding off of your goodwill and kindness. They might be draining you of energy better spent on yourself. After cleaning up after them, driving them places, making excuses for them, putting up with their diversions, and trying not to crack under their pressure, you might need a month of detox!

These relationships are toxic for sure – and if not properly managed, they could feed off you to the point of absolute devastation. 

Be careful, set boundaries, don’t take on their karma, and continually check-in with yourself to make sure you’re not giving up energy that you don’t have.

Be On The Lookout For These Things

Specifics change from vampire to vampire, but they all have a few key characteristics. 

Energy vampires and narcissists:

  •   Tend to be very charismatic and engaging 
  •   Continually draw attention to themselves
  •   Lack empathy 
  •   Lack an understanding reciprocity, balance, and being “other-focused”
  •   Appear extremely needy and lazy
  •   Talk a good game but rarely act
  •   Find it difficult to change their behavior 
  •   Manipulate others to do everything for them
  •   Rarely own their bad behavior – except when we threaten to leave them

Getting other people to do all the work is easier when you’re a smooth talker. It also helps when you’re able to project confidence and enthusiasm. Energy vampires might boast that they are extroverts, but they’re most often desperate at a core level.  

Some of them spend an unusual amount of time focused on their own appearance. They might have the perfect excuses for how they spend their time and money on things that are obviously not prudent, mature, or good for them. They might say that their recreational drugs help them sleep or feel less anxious. 

Everything a vampire does is about filling the sad, bottomless holes within them.

One of my former narcissist, celebrity clients could not help but make a villain out of everybody in her life, including her husband, sisters, nanny, chef – you name it. She had no sense of who she was because she continually devoured the people in her life. She could not understand how every person in her life had value. She made each of them out to be a villain. 

Additionally, she could barely own, declare, and defend her opinions, which changed like the wind, let alone her challenges, shortcomings, and massive, misguided ego. It was sad to watch. 

My ideas for this sad soul were all about being more productive, fulfilling her agreements, renegotiating her relationships, and improving the structure in her personal and professional lives. Yet, all of these ideas became thorns for her. She simply could not fathom the idea of hard work, especially when it came to working on herself. Everything was EVERYBODY else’s fault. 

This is classic narcissism. This type of person does not want real relationships in her life, she wants every person in her life to validate her every whim, glance, thought, and incongruence. She would grimace at the thought of having to reflect upon herself. She found it exhausting. 

While many of these vampires are outgoing, silver-tongued, and maybe even sexy, some spend time in the background, appearing unassuming and quiet. This is only part of their engagement patterns. They’ll perch and await the right moment to play the victim card. When they do, look out! This is when all hell breaks loose. 

As they shout and freak out about all of their assumptions, projections, stress, and delusions, they find culprits for every aspect of their self-created pain. They NEVER look in the mirror and say, “I chose these experiences. How can I honor them and then improve upon myself?” This concept would never dawn on a narcissist. 

They’ll always find an excuse or response along the lines of “You might have it slightly bad in your life at times, but I have it way worse. Here are 10 contrived examples born from my self-aggrandized ego.”

These fascinating embodiments of Eternal Black Holes will complain about money, health, their car, or a broken fingernail – anything to refocus attention back on them. If the conversation is aimed at anything other than their vanity, their overactive minds will be hard at work looking for the bridge that takes the conversation back to them. 

If you’re speaking, chances are they are not listening. Their primary focus at that point is to mentally perseverate on what they could say next so that the attention returns to them.  

The Energy Vampires in your life may appear to be completely unique, with their own styles and attitudes. They might appear to be different on the surface, but don’t be fooled. Make no mistake about it, all Energy Vampires will eventually seek to slowly chip away at your happiness, well-being, and life-force. They can’t help themselves. 

 

3 Ways to Protect yourself from Vampires

Unfortunately, garlic and wooden stakes are not very effective against vampires and other types of narcissists. In most situations, these pathetic users and abusers are parents, children, friends, spouses, or coworkers. If they’re too entrenched in your life, it can be almost impossible to remove them or set clear boundaries with them. That said, if you’re careful, thoughtful, and consistent about it, you can learn to coexist with and sometimes completely eradicate vampires. 

 

1. Remove The Vampires From Your Life

If you are constantly burdened with the drama of another person, it can cause unnecessary stress, and affect everything from sleep to health. You’ve continually tried to serve them, sometimes with the grace and patience of a living saint. You’ve felt stressed, burdened, angry, sad, and sometimes completely drained of energy. 

You’ve stayed on the phone with them for hours listening to their complaints. You’ve given everything you can and they still ask for more. In these cases, you have no choice but to release them from your life. 

The key here is to remember that these people tend to be unaware of the pain they’ve caused you. Even if you’ve told them time and time again, chances are they will be unable to hear you. They simply cannot listen to feedback. 

Even when you say goodbye, their responses will be something like, “Why are you doing this to me?” Or “I can’t believe you don’t care about me!” When you don’t answer their texts and calls, they send you guilt-ridden messages that make them sound like you shot them in the head and stole their legs.  

It’s time to say buh-bye. You don’t have to create a major in-person event to get this done. All you have to do is calmly tell them how busy you are, and then slowly exit the relationship. Think of it as titrating off of drugs. You are a drug to them. To help them withdraw, you need to show some tough love – most importantly tough love for yourself. Say goodbye and move on.

The good news is that most of these people will immediately find another person to engage and manipulate. They’ll start texting these new punching bags late at night and eventually hook one of them. At that point, you’re 100% off the hook and clear of their toxic debris! 

GOOD ON YA, MATE! Stay positive and keep moving forward! And never let them back into your life.

 

2. Manage The Time You Spend With Narcissists

Coworkers, family members, and old friends can be tricky to remove, and it might be far more work to remove them than simply manage your time with them. By setting schedules with them, ones that serve your happiness, you can improve your energy levels and emotional stress. 

Because Energy and Emotional vampires often lack empathy, you’ll need to be clear, direct, and consistent. Subtle hints are usually deflected, ignored, or seen as thin, permeable, and changeable boundaries. 

If you’re hankerin’ for less time with your narcissist or vampire, here are a few things you can say to them:

  •   I’m working on an all-consuming project, back to you in a few weeks. Sorry.
  •   I’m needing some time along, you know me, always moving too fast. Need some me-time. Thanks for understanding. 
  •   Doc just told me if I don’t stop texting at night, I’ll never relax enough to actually sleep. 
  •   I need some space because I’m exhausted and need to revamp my priorities. 
  •   My husband/wife needs more time with me and I will need to be texting and calling less with all sorts of folks in my life – it’s time to prioritize – thanks for hearing me out

If you’re in a family full of vampires, you might need to build a chore wheel and map out a schedule for meal time, alone time, and other times that allow you to make space for yourself and inquire within. 

By trying some of these things, you will feel more energetic, aware, and relaxed. You’ll also begin to imagine other ways that you can improve your life. Stay focused and shake off any guilt that comes your way. Your primary relationships are to yourself and the Universe. Everyone else can get over themselves and adjust.

 

3. Set Boundaries With Vampires & Narcissists

When forced into close proximity with vampires and narcissists, it’s vital to recognize the extent to which you are depleting yourself. It’s not about them – it’s about you. If you’re constantly exhausted after exchanges with them, it’s time to buck-up and set some adult boundaries. YOU CAN DO THIS!

With coworkers, you’ll need to be politically correct, clear, and kind. You don’t want to jeopardize your work-sitch, especially if you love your job. Tell this category of vampires that you are falling behind in your deliverables and you need to get yourself together so that you are able to sustain your life. 

For the vampire friends and family members in your life, stay away from giving them advice. They don’t want to hear it. Own your stuff and tell them how much you care about them – but don’t be a panting puppy dog. Just be clear and concise. If you’re deeply empathic, be very careful to block their projections and do not absorb any of their disappointment, sadness, or anger. That’s their stuff. You focus on your stuff. 

You must remember that when you develop a true sense-of-self and you protect this Self by setting boundaries, you’re educating the vampires in your life and all of the people who engage with them. 

By removing yourself from these dynamics, you stop a variety of codependent cycles. 

 

Energy Vampires Are Here to Stay

Throughout our lives, we will run into countless people that want to take advantage of your kindness. While there are many ways to cope with the people using you, it can be downright impossible to remove all of them. And you could spend a thousand lifetimes trying to fix them.

Modern day technology has spoiled many people. Companies cater to customers and build a false sense of entitlement in many, because of this, Energy Vampires thrive on others catering their every want and need. Remember that behind each email address, each phone call, and each smile, is a whole person with emotions and needs just like yours.

 

 

What if YOU are the Vampire in the Relationship?

If you’re reading this and feel like, “Holy moly, I’m a vampire!,” then my gosh, lucky you! Use this article as a pathway to improve yourself. There is no time like the present moment to own your shit and start improving your life. Go for it!

Some vampires and narcissists are completely clueless. It’s not because they’re bad people, it’s because hey grew up needy and nobody ever challenged their self-absorbed self-concept. If we change things within ourselves, we become stronger, studier, more compassionate, and more clear. 

Remember this: whatever your narrative is, whatever is ailing you, whatever you feel overwhelmed with and consumed by, other people are going through the same thing – or worse. 

Remember, too, change doesn’t happen overnight. Over time, the little changes you make will result in a big impact on you, your energy, and the people around you. Start small. Before picking up the phone to blame someone or manipulate someone into helping you, write down a few things you can do to improve your situation. When we look within, we find ALL the answers. 

Most importantly, when building relationships with others, allow the other person to speak, and remember to LISTEN! It can be tempting to think about how you are going to respond, but this is just plain lazy. Listening deeply to others, we expand our hearts and our understanding of the Universe. 

When listening, consider how it might feel to be in their situation, then respond honestly and lovingly. If you’re tired of your inner-narcissist, seek to serve others. This is the quickest pathway to our liberation.

Meditate, journal, and pray. When you pray for others, the Universe prays for you. You are unlimited in every direction, so refrain from making excuses – and get to work! When you unfold and expand, you become a light to others. Every thought, intention, and action feeds the eternal whole. Be a light and you will become the light. 

 

 

 

Getting Rid of Negative Energy

Negative energy
Prayer and forgiveness can change us. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

A few weeks ago, I was awoken by a disembodied spirit and screamed like a 5-year old boy. My partner nearly pooped her pants and assumed we were being profiled and haunted by a profoundly negative spirit. Digging a little deeper, I felt this spirit to be a humble, old soul seeking love and attention. As we prayed for her and showered her with light, she evaporated within 10 minutes. She even had a smile on her face. Negative energy has been around for a long time, possibly an eternity. Remember Satan?

According to many Christians, he’s a big player in the negativity scene, although some might contest his existence. The embodiment of hatred and darkness, Satan has been referred to as Mastemah, Diabolos (Greek), Belial (Dead Sea Scrolls), Beelzebul, Beelzebub, Typhon, Hades, Ahriman, Hela, and just plain old, “The Father of Lies.”

Negativity is not solely mythic or biblical, and it indeed doesn’t always stem from Satan. Experiencing negativity and its related spirit-forms can be a profound reality. While not often dangerous, visiting spirits can be a nuisance.

As a seer of spirits, I often find it’s impossible to determine whether a disembodied soul, apparition or etheric entity is evil vs. good, negative vs. positive, helpful vs. hurtful, needy vs. vampirish, somewhere in between, or a complex hybrid. Sometimes energy feels uncomfortable to us, possibly because we are preoccupied with sensing it, or we’re bothered by the fact that it’s taking up space.

In the empath, new-age, and pagan scenes, there are a lot of assumptions around negativity. Instead of exploring an entity or energy and then feeling into it, some might jump-the-gun and come out of the gate screaming, “IT’S THE DEVIL!”

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It seems some of the sadder, angrier and darker healers and writers in the world like to assume the victim position so they can elicit fear, for which they’ll immediately conjure remedies. Afterward, they’ll chant privately, “I’m a hero of the light!” Um, well, not really.

There are worlds within worlds, realms within realms, worlds within realms, and realms within worlds, and therefore there are spirits of all sorts traversing between and throughout all of them. If we catch a glimpse of a spirit or feel her presence, it’s most often a blessing, rather than a curse.

While there are undoubtedly negative energies wandering around our physical realities, our perception of their negativity and its potential effects are often born from our fears, insecurities, unprocessed emotions, victim mindedness, assumptions, projections, and lack of boundaries. When we are negatively affected by a spirit or energy, it’s not the time to play the victim. It’s a call to improve our vibrations. We only attract, absorb, react-to, and consume that which we are magnetizing to us, unhealthily craving, or do not understand.

Are There Spirits In This World To Be Exorcized? Yes!
Is There A Slight Chance That I Will Be Exposed To, Oppressed By, Or Damaged By Such An Energy? If You Squint, Maybe, But Most Likely, No.

Bumping into and being subject to a variety of harmful effects extending from a negative entity would be like finding a pin in an alternate reality that exists solely within a tiny section of a specific yet massive haystack, and only appearing within a 15-second time slot time, and during a particular time of day, say 4:01:00 pm to 4:01:15 pm.

Given That I’m Probably Not In Imminent Danger, Should I Still Consider Clearing The Energies Around My Body, Mind, Heart, Partnerships, Family, Environments, Home, And Vehicles? CERTAINLY!

Just because energy isn’t harmful, doesn’t mean it’s not blocking the joy, flow, and goodness in your life. Some energies unknowingly block light and flow in our lives because of their natures, not their intentions. This means that even if a spirit appears to be haunting you, they might just be a dark, unconscious knucklehead without the ability to haunt.

My Advice Concerning Negative Energy

Chances are the negativity that you are experiencing is yours, not anybody else’s. Because of this, you can control this experience, and you can monitor your reactions. You can also make a bold and healthy choice to alleviate your stress around this idea and improve your conditions. Relax, take a shower, use essential oils, consume some Bach flower remedies, walk in the forest regularly, meditate daily, forgive often, and be proactive and positive. While you’re at it, pray for your lovers and enemies every day.

What Are Negative Energies?

Negative energies are disruptive spirits and energetic entities that materialize to us in a variety of forms, including but not limited to:

  • Disembodied spirits or people who recently died, but have yet to release their physical realities
  • Ancestors who adopt their prior physical forms to help us, alert us, or bother us
  • Spirits from other realms, worlds, and planets
  • Thought-forms from powerful thinkers and feelers
  • Energy formations from other planets that seek to embrace or learn from our ways of life (think Orbs, Rods, and the like)
  • Detached and embodied accumulations of experienced emotions, stemming from profound, inspiring, light-infused, dense, dark, or unexplainable events
  • Separated auric forms from confused, depressed, damaged, psychotic or sociopathic people, both living or dead
  • Our prior or parallel life forms, either from this reality, previous realities, or realities that we are concurrently co-existing within
  • Life forms that we previously agreed to assist and who exist in tangential realities that are somehow connected to our soul’s current life, lineage, or prior incarnations
  • Important: Personal, imaginary projections that come from our minds, attitudes, and intentions

How To Get Rid Of Unwanted Spirits In Your House

While the spirit might not be a negative or evil entity, he or she might certainly be unwanted in your home. It’s your right to remove them, and it’s your option how to engage them.

The best way to initiate the process of spirit-removal is to engage the spirit with love, light, and positive intentions. Screaming in fear, blaming them or others, or avoidance will not help your cause. Just like any other desire we might have, when it comes to removing spirits, we have to take proactive steps toward our goal.

You can’t always pray away a spirit; it might be a little more complicated than that. To rid your world of unwanted spirits, the most important thing you can do is clean house, which includes learning how to love yourself, discovering how to set better boundaries, saging your body and home, unearthing and releasing trapped and forgotten emotions, forgiving others, and physically cleaning your home.

Burning Sage To Remove Negative Energy In General

Sage is a fragrant, healing herb that can be used to make your home smell pretty while it extinguishes bacteria. As an essential oil, sage is believed to help relieve Alzheimer’s symptoms, reduce cholesterol and blood glucose, and even alleviate menopausal symptoms.

Sage is the herbal Terminator and can reduce allergens like pet dander, pollution, mold, and dust. It’s in this way that burning sage can be a miracle for people who have asthma, allergies, bronchitis, heart problems, and more. You can use sage to do the following:

  • Send prayers and offerings to Ancestors, Gods, Worlds, Realms, and Heavens
  • Eliminate unwanted spirits
  • Extinguish negative energies
  • Unblock chakras
  • Reduce stress
  • Unlock and lighten depression
  • Soothe anger and bad moods
  • Clear the emotional residue on our bodies
  • Clear the energy reside in our homes and cars
  • Release energy and spirit attachments
  • Clean and clear crystals and gemstones

Here’s How To Use Sage As An Antimatter Ray-Gun Against Negative Energy:

  1. Find some living sage in the mountains and make a little bundle. Let it dry for a week. Or you can buy a sage stick online or from a local new-age store.
  2. Fill a little bowl with sand or dirt, or buy an abalone shell.
  3. Light a candle and close the windows.
  4. Use the candle to light the dried sage so that it has a strong flame for a moment.
  5. Extinguish the flame and any flying sparks.
  6. Use a feather or your hand to wave the sage smoke on your body and throughout all of the rooms in your home.
  7. Pay special attention to the parts of your body that feel compromised or vulnerable.
  8. Pay particular attention to the parts of the house that feel burdened by unseen energies.
  9. As you spread sage smoke around your house, you can chant a mantra, repeat a prayer, or talk to the lingering spirits.
  10. Invoke love, light, and joy throughout the experience.
  11. When you’re done, extinguish the smoking sage stick in the sand/dirt bowl or place it under running water for a moment.
  12. After 3 hours of the sage smoke sinking into fabrics, carpets, walls, furniture, auras, chakras, and spirits, open the windows to release the smoke.
  13. Blow out the candle.

Negative Entities And Other House Pets

Negative entities are not always harmful to us. Some energies might not even know that we’re in the room. They might be completely clueless and contained within another dimension. We might also consider getting used to some of these spirits, especially if they do not harm our lives, hearts, souls, or minds.

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Negative energies can become long-term guests and house pets, but only if you do nothing to encourage their abdication. They can become accustomed to our energies and environments, just like we fall in love with our favorite restaurants. They might even become addicted to us.

Even with all that, we still might not be in danger. Just because a disembodied spirit is penetrating our walls and furniture doesn’t mean that he or she is harmful. It might merely be a fascination.

How To Get Rid Of Negative Entities

Just like your house plants and pets, it’s vital that you be kind and loving to the energies that provoke your fears and discomfort. When you sense entities wandering through your space, tell them that you love them. Ask that they respect your home, spirit and physical body. If you can see them, sage them. Once they disappear, repeatedly sage the space where you first saw them emerge. That space might be their little portal or entryway.

Pray for all of the entities that you sense, see, and feel. Pray for the protection of your spaces. These spirits are no different than your puppy, kitten, goldfish, or plant. They are conscious energy-forms or souls who are attracted to you and your world. If you shift, they will shift. If you can detach, they might detach.

Be Gentle, Loving, And Proactive. Repeat These Procedures Often.

If a spirit becomes a nuisance, look within your heart to see if there is someone who needs your forgiveness or apology. By focusing on the love in your heart, you can release and detach from trapped emotions. This will change your vibration and frequency, thereby shifting your connection to the entity. This process might also heal you on some level.

How To Get Rid Of Negative Energy Attached To You

While negative energies are not always conscious, and not all conscious, negative entities will attach to a physical form, it doesn’t mean that a negatively-charged attachment is not possible. Let’s Say That It’s Possible. Now What?

Here are a few things you can do to release a negative energy or entity that has attached itself to your body:

  • Pray for the energy. Imagine it to be protected and infused with white and pink light.
  • Pray for your spiritual evolution.
  • Forgive people who have hurt you.
  • In the quiet of the morning, apologize in your mind to people you have offended.
  • Set better boundaries with the people in your physical life.
  • Ask that the energy leave your body.
  • Meditate regularly.
  • Do 1 hour of Kundalini yoga, every day, for 40 days.
  • Use sage, gemstones, and crystals as jewelry to shift your vibration.
  • Ask the entity to reveal themself to you so that you can learn more about them and then offer love, guidance or prayer. They might be an ex-lover or friend from a prior life!

A Ritual For Release

Like I write about in my books, rituals can help us “physicalize our prayers and shift our realities.” If you enjoy performing simple rituals of transformation, try this one on for size:

  1. Gather the following: a small candle, some loose, dry sage, a handful of cornmeal, some organic tobacco, a bottle or two of water.
  2. Venture into the forest and meditate on infusing your life with light and love.
  3. Find a flat stone and place your candle on it, so that if it spills or tips, you and the forest are protected.
  4. Light the candle and sit on the ground next to it.
  5. Sprinkle a light circle of sage, cornmeal, and tobacco around you.
  6. Invite all of your ancestors, helpers, masters, and light-beings to fill your heart with light.
  7. Tell the negative entity or attached spirit that you love him or her, but that it’s time to say goodbye.
  8. Ask your etheric tribe of light-beings to help you heal the negative energy and remove it from your life for all time.

If you would like other suggestions for rituals, you can email me at paul@paulwagner.com. You are a light-being infused with love and stardust. You are the only controller of your life, experiences, magnetism, and vibration. Every time you elevate and improve-upon your vibration, you increase your awareness and change your reality.